Even if it's wrong it's my choice

fear of love

My hearts always told me the wrong thing

to love and to love blind.

It never chose what was right.

It took over my mind.

 

It left me so many times broken

and a lot of times alone

So I cannot bare to look at you

for i want the choice to be my own

 

I see the happiness you bring

yet i fear what i don't know.

The calmness you bring scares me

I almost want you to go.

 

I'm so afraid to look

but i want to look at you

my heart already made up it's mind

now it's for me to do

 

I fear the times shared were merely false

Though I remember the happy feeling.

But i think i've been here before

believing i could be healing

 

I'm so scared though fearless

I know that your for me

but i can't let you in

i hope you can see

 

I've been here before

I know it wasn't with you

though i know how it feels to be hurt

even if what you say is true.

 

Reviews

[Nicolii]

great ! keep on writing

[kirstey Lost,Crushed,Co..]

Really good write :) Liked it alot. Keep it up :D

[Senseless whatever]

Great write. The swaying emotion comes through strongly in this piece.

[Livana Lowell]

Indeed the rhyme scheme is of great choice. The diction is simple, understanable, and relatable because often the heart and mind collide on the decision, emotions especially concerning a subject like love. The emotion, the feeling is great once obtained, but it's much harder to keep it, to continue the blissful feeling. Through the road of love, hurt and pain is efficient and it happens because love is a big responsiblity. However, sometimes we take that pain and create a barrier, a wall so that the heart and mind make collision once again. What's good becomes a bad thing and what's bad seems to sneak into those strengthening walls making them even stronger, tougher to break down.

Indeed the aftermath of a love broken by mistrust and devious actions. It's sorrowful, but part of live, unavoidable. The lines portray these concepts and do create a mororse melody. The melody packs a punch and I find anger brightly in the words.

The word "calmness" is too simple of a word for the piece, I thought to be honest. Perhaps, find a better, stronger word.

That's my only suggestion and I think this is a very beautiful piece.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

The aftermath of love gone wrong. What a view. It shows how hard it is to pick up the pieces.

[The Lone Wolf Prose]

This was me to a "T". The use of the rhyme scheme I think works very well despite the subject matter that is being presented. The singsong feel has a morose sound to it that makes I think the poem even more melancholy. This really resonated with me. Very good job.

One technical: 6th Stanza 2nd Line - "your" should be "you're" :)

Keep up the good work.
~LW