A heartless world

Things that go on that can be stopped like abuse

 

Tears like the rain hit the ground

going unheard all around

blood like dirt upon the gravel

unable to escape no matter where you travel

a little boy broken inside and out

a little girl silent unable to shout

Their families so different but also the same

Their lives a mess tossed in a game

Tears like rain hit the ground

going unheard all around

blood like dirt upon the gravel

unable to escape no matter where you travel

A beautiful woman bruised and beaten

it's been many years since shes really eaten

such a talent within her beautiful soul

but her life is consumed and lies fill her full

Tears like rain hit the ground

going unheard all around

blood like dirt upon the gravel

unable to escape no matter where you travel

Three graves left alone

Our world left unaware of the angels' sad tone

Three lives that could have been saved

but nobody stepped off the path our heartless world paved

Author's Note

Ignore grammar again lol

Reviews

[Marlena]

This was pretty interesting, you managed to tell three stories in one decently sized poem. Plus, the repetition was evenly used so it wasn't annoying the way most repetition turns out to be. Just watch your syllables though, some of the lines were a little uneven, you can try spacing some of them out, making one line two, you know what I mean? Sometimes that works xD Anyway, nice work, I liked it :)

[Sabbath_Nikole]

Very strong last line. It's quite striking. You've got a nice rhyme scheme going, even if some of the stanza's felt a little repetative, it felt more like a song. Which isn't a bad thing. I admire it actually.

[Tate Morgan]

I think its interesting would be more so if you shortened by using the first paragraph once

[ashley]

Wow, this is beautifully tragic. A fantastic write, great job! :D

[glamourgurl]

awesome im new teach me some tricks

[AmeliaMae]

Wow. I really liked this one. Good job!

[Vincent Esprit FMI]

Great write loveORhate as you have captured the realities that befall us in our secularised (not particlularly negative) world. The excessive dependence on individualsim in our world today has probably lead us into areas of sadness. Well done!

[deeps]

Awesome write here. I enjoyed this write alot.

[Senseless whatever]

Great Job. Very lyrical. Fantastic job of painting each life situation and bringing them together in the final stanza.

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

this is a sad write. but written beautifully