Heart on the window

Symbolism

you draw your heart on the window
the fog slowly takes it away
it represents how you feel so below
you hurt cuz you know it won't stay

People wouldn't understand your tears
you know that it all looks wrong
you see not the picture but your fears
they see only the picture and the tears that are along

Your scared of all you don't know
you wonder what your gonna loose
you don't care about anything as long as he dosen't go
you know he doesn't get to choose

you want something to finally be real
you wish they could understand
you know they can't see how you feel
you have only his hand

You've already lost soo much
your ready to fight
you know that everything is loosing touch
you just want it to be alright

you feel so safe in his love
his arms let you know your not alone
he puts only you above
you can feel it all in his tone

the hearts gone on the window
The fog washed it all away
It reprents how you felt so below
And how you hurt cuz it wouldn't stay

Reviews

[Subjective Sanity]

Excellent.

[Eric Cox]

Great poem. A sad tone done beautifully.

[Sabbath_Nikole]

You have some grammertechnical problems in this one. It distracts the reader from the poem. the last stanza especially. "the hearts gone on the window" should be heart's. "It reprents" should be represents. Overall i like the concept, a girl insecure, unveiling the unseen. I really like the image of the heart traced on the window, fading away. Oh, and in the second to last stanza, "You can feel it all in his tone" I think you should use hear instead, since tone isn't something that you can really feel. Other than that, very good write.

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

Such a strong poem. The emotions are raw and the poem is brimming with such colors of melancholy and sadness. However, I'd remind you to check spelling mistakes as they deviate the reader's mind from the context.

Still, this poem is a good write!
Thank you for sharing.

-Alex

[Emily Quinn]

sweet, sad poem about love gained and lost. A cute analogy to use to show the emotion aswell (heart on the window) good job

[lawrence bear]

great piece.

[Tara♥Undefined&h..]

Awwe! That was beautiful. i cried. i really did. Keep writing. You are really good.

[The Water Queen]

this poem is beautiful love the form and rythm you have used to keep the reader fascinated.