Doesn't mean there isn't a forever.

Sometimes we have to love whats best for us. In the end we see that it will be okay.

I wanted you to love me
I wanted you to understand
I wanted you to see
I wanted you to hold my hand

Broken hearts take us far
Friends hold us together
Love leaves a scar
And there is no forever

I needed you to say you loved me
I needed to know you cared
I needed to be free
I needed my heart to be spared

Broken hearts take us far
Friends hold us together
Love leaves a scar
And there is no forever

I told you that I need you
I let you know it all
I told you all thats true
I begged you and you let me fall

Broken hearts take us far
Friends hold us together
Love leaves a scar
And there is no forever

I promised myself I wouldn't cry
I promised everyone I'd be well
I promised them all I would try
I broke all those promises and I fell

Broken hearts take us far
Friends hold us together
Love leaves a scar
And there is no forever

I saw that he loved me
I saw he could understand
I saw he could help me heal
I saw he would hold my hand

Broken hearts take us far
Friends hold us together
Love leaves a scar
doesn't mean there isn't a forever

Reviews

[bob, small b. aka invs]

i agree with the person who said this would make a good song. the repetition of the one verse, or chorus is very nice.

[deeps]

This is a wonderful write here, I enjoyed the read.
wonderful rhyme scheme and flow.

[Senseless whatever]

Very good write. Nice flow and good rhyming throughout. The ending was perfect for this piece.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

I agree with the others, it would be a great song. Love has a cynical side and I feel it in this piece. Pretty good work.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This would make a nice song. I like the patterns in the rhythm.

[snapstache]

very nice :)
I found it written in the form of a song just longer
I liked the rhyme scheme
Very well done!
*.*

[c.m.]

I think your rhyming is done very well, and the poem is great. sad, but lovely.

[MJ Durston]

Great Job! Definately not a favourite, I've seen you do a lot better. However, it was good nonetheless. I liked that you used a repetitive verse, making it seem more like lyrics. It gave it "Spunk".

A Couple Observations though:
#1: In Stanza 5 the rhythm & flow are a bit off, I think if you change the last two sentences, it will help that, for example:

From "I told you all thats true"
to: "I told you all that 'is' true"
and
From "I begged you and you let me fall"
to " I begged you not to let me fall"

#2: there was a number 2 but I forgot what it was, and no matter how many times I re-read it, I couldn't find that second thing wrong. So Maybe there isn't one after all! Yay!

Great Job, keep writing!
Melissa.

[ashley]

This is a really good poem. I like the flow. My favorite is the last stanza:
"Broken hearts take us far
Friends hold us together
Love leaves a scar
doesn't mean there isn't a forever"
Great job! :D

[Taunt-gently]

Might make a catchy song with a catchy tune in a world full of broken hearts.