The Submission

The Submission

A Story by Ms Paragon

Submission. That's what he would remember that day for. Submission to one's fate. The inescapable fate of being forever invisible to the only man he wished to be noticed by.

 He remembered the power cut, right after the funeral. His father sitting alone in that dark room, a single candle casting shadows  to his features, distorted to inhuman proportions. The notes of Mozart, elevating the silence to an almost mystifying experience.

 He remembered himself, a young boy, standing outside that door, making a promise to himself. He was going to become the son his father wanted him to be. This was his chance. He  was going to be the Son. The Only Son. His father had no choice but to finally "see" him.

 Inside the dark room, his father let out  his final breath along with Mozart's final  notes, his heart too weak  to handle the pain  of the untimely loss.

He remembered every detail of that day. It was the day his brother had beaten him again. Even from the grave.

© 2018 Ms Paragon


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Reviews

Fantastic write, truly refreshing!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you!I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Brilliant and captivating! That was a perfect little short story

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you!I'm glad you liked it!
You wrench our hearts when you bring us into the house of this common family feeling experience. Brilliant.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you for taking the time to read and the kind review!I appreciate it!
sad write,this is the worst of times

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you for reading!
 wordman

6 Years Ago

my pleasure
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Gee
Loved the twist at the end.
The mistress of the mini story, that is you Ms P.
Hope all is well in sunny Greece.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you for reading!I'm glad you enjoyed it!Greetings from -not so sunny lately- Greece!
Gee

6 Years Ago

Welcome to my world !!!
You're most welcome
Wow so thought provoking
Sad passionate and clever
Great read thanks

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words.I appreciate it!
when he finally thought he could stand on his own out of the shadows of his brother to impress his father, the earth opened and swallowed the opportunity! You described the moment in a breathtakingly beautiful precision .

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you for taking the time to read and the encouraging review!
Mrudula Rani

6 Years Ago

You are welcome.
Flippin heck... you just sent one almighty shiver down my spine and back again... a magnificently tragic little write..................Neville

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and the comment!
Neville

6 Years Ago

no worries, no problem, my pleasure.... N

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581 Views
18 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 27, 2018
Last Updated on May 27, 2018

Author

Ms Paragon
Ms Paragon

Greece



Writing
Torn Torn

A Story by Ms Paragon



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