The Submission

The Submission

A Story by Ms Paragon

Submission. That's what he would remember that day for. Submission to one's fate. The inescapable fate of being forever invisible to the only man he wished to be noticed by.

 He remembered the power cut, right after the funeral. His father sitting alone in that dark room, a single candle casting shadows  to his features, distorted to inhuman proportions. The notes of Mozart, elevating the silence to an almost mystifying experience.

 He remembered himself, a young boy, standing outside that door, making a promise to himself. He was going to become the son his father wanted him to be. This was his chance. He  was going to be the Son. The Only Son. His father had no choice but to finally "see" him.

 Inside the dark room, his father let out  his final breath along with Mozart's final  notes, his heart too weak  to handle the pain  of the untimely loss.

He remembered every detail of that day. It was the day his brother had beaten him again. Even from the grave.

© 2018 Ms Paragon


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Reviews

Thoughts, memories and hard/good days of life. This is what we become. You told many stories and shared many thoughts in the story my friend. Thank you Ms Paragon for sharing your amazing poetry. I did enjoy.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you for reading! I'm glad you liked it!
Coyote Poetry

6 Years Ago

You are welcome Ms Paragon.
Your words so aptly describe the emotion that emantes from this young man even as his father is taking his last breath. It is a wound that runs deep and is not easily repaired if ever. Very touching and so well written.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind review! I appreciate it!
Each of your eloquent, deeply moving words here bear the weight of an unrequited heart. Great scene-setting and presentation. Your imagery is mesmerizing, surreal and other-worldly. The parent who loves only one of his children- while the other submits and withers...a story that plays out tragically,painfully always. Excellent write.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your thoughtful review and kind words! It means a lot!
Annette Pisano-Higley

6 Years Ago

You’re very welcome.:))
This is a poignant, somber story.well written and detailed.i relate to this story but I can't understand why.it just grabbed me around the heart

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you!I'm glad you liked it!
I loved reading, from start to finish it drew me in, thank you for sharing

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed it!Thank you for your kind words!
Dramatic, dark, intense and overwhelming drawn in from start to end.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and the encouraging review!I appreciate it!
Onlyme

6 Years Ago

You express yourself beautiful
Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

So kind of you!Thank you again!
Number one in life, number one in death.
Intense it is.
Great write, you can feel it.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you!I'm glad you liked it!
Intense write here, but so very good. Enjoyed

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you!I'm glad you liked it!
Goodness, what an intense story. Also great writing, conveying the atmosphere and emotion. I suppose these rivalries within families are the source of much of our great literature - Greek myth, Shakespeare etc.
I can recognise it from my own family.
Excellent writing,
Regards,
Alan

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and the insightful review!I appreciate it!
Wow, amazing .. I love the reference to Mozart.. A captivating piece indeed..

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ms Paragon

6 Years Ago

Thank you!I appreciate your kind review!I'm glad you liked it!

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18 Reviews
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Added on May 27, 2018
Last Updated on May 27, 2018

Author

Ms Paragon
Ms Paragon

Greece



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