Love Like Opera

One of my original pieces.

Have you ever made live like opera?

hitting those high notes

pushing it down like deep throat

crooning like mellow drama

feeling like this is karma

shedding all emotional armor

thinking "is this with honors?"

waking up with sweet chills of that night

making a way to hold on tight

a musical composition

a lyrical premonition

of what it will be like

to get i t in just right

out of mind in my sight

taking the chance believing the hype

can we sing another tune tonight?

Reviews

[Anata]

Not bad at all!

I'm probably not the best person to comment on a story, as I rarely write stories myself, but I have a few things for you to ponder about :)

First of all, i want to say that the subject is really original, and it is a good story!
The only thing you should pay attention to is spellign mistakes, and there are quite alot :s for example; it is believe instead of beleive.
The second thing you should pay attention to, is making your sentences shorter. By diving a sentence in two, or maybe even three parts, it is easier for the reader to read, and it doesn't give the impression that you wrote the story in a hurry. Some sentences in this story can easily be divided in at least 2 separate.

Now don't think i didn't like your story, because i do realise that my comment might hit you at first. I am only here to give you some tips, as i got from people here when i first joined the cafe.
Spelling mistakes are easy to make, and everyone makes some, so no worries. Just oblige yourself to proofread your story after writing it. I know that might be hard sometimes ...

To sum it all up, I like the story, i like the subject, and you did a good job!

[Eagle Cruagh]

A great lesson and learned well.
As a child I remember the old people always said,
"take it with a grain of salt", when hearing a story
that is too good to be true.
As for "egg on your face", you should not be ashamed,
it was only your good heart that caused you to listen
to an unlikely tale.
Extremely well written story. It captured my interest in
the beginning and built the story, drawing me in, told just
as though I were sitting in the back seat, listening with you.
A winner ! My favorite.
---- Eagle Cruagh