Marking My Heart.

Oh my, I've been inspired to rewrite "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away" And This is my own version. With Monte and Myles. I miss them both.

Every day I walk to the bus, down by your house
A hundred yards from the spot where you first kissed me
There's a mark from your old baseball

from when you hit that old tree
And what I wouldn't give
To hear him laugh at me just one more time.

If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd pack up all our friends and go for the day
Introduce them to my brother
Watch 'em fall for his good looks
I'd hug him until he tells me how hes been
The one we loss back in 2010
Show him a picture of his brother now
He's married and he'd be shocked
Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take
If heaven wasn't so far away

I'd hug all four of those boys that died in Car Accident in year of 2011
And I'd find my old grandma and make her take me hunting just one more time

I'd ask him why he took those kids who weren't even 16
Sit on a cloud and visit for a while
It'd do me good just to see his smile

 

If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd pack up all our friends and go for the day
Introduce them to my brother
Watch 'em fall for his good looks
I'd hug him until he tells me how hes been
The one we loss back in 2010
Show him a picture of his brother now
He's married and he'd be shocked
Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take
If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd hug him and kiss him just like I once did.

Author's Note

Well yeah I'd pretty much take any critism you have for me. Go for it. Im ready to take it.

Reviews

[Chaos_Collector]

This filled with so much gloom. It's got a good rhyme scheme to move the poem along with it's significant meaning. Nice work

[U N I C O R N S AND Z E B R A S]

Thank you. I've lost a lot of people since I. Lost my brother in 2010

[Chaos_Collector]

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you don't have to suffer losing anyone else soon

[U N I C O R N S AND Z E B R A S]

I don't know if that's possible 2012 was the only year I didn't lost a person to a car accident since my brother

[Chaos_Collector]

I'd hate if you lost anyone else. It's never easy losing those you truly care about

[U N I C O R N S AND Z E B R A S]

Yeah it's hard

[Chaos_Collector]

Well if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here :)

[U N I C O R N S AND Z E B R A S]

Thank you, I appriciate it. I really do.

[Chaos_Collector]

You're welcome

[U N I C O R N S AND Z E B R A S]

Tomorrow's Myles's house...

[U N I C O R N S AND Z E B R A S]

Funeral at his house /:

[Chaos_Collector]

Are you gonna be okay? :/

[U N I C O R N S AND Z E B R A S]

Nope.

[Chaos_Collector]

You should message me

[U N I C O R N S AND Z E B R A S]

Ok

[Britt]

afkhsdlgs;dg., I LOVE this song! it reminds me of my grandpa that i lost on my birthday in 2004. This was amazing. This is my second fav poem of yours. Good job. :)

[U N I C O R N S AND Z E B R A S]

I lost my grandma last year in Feb...my brother in 10 myles fridaynight...and yeah many many many more. My uncle in 06. I miss all my family.

[Britt]

awww:/

[U N I C O R N S AND Z E B R A S]

yeah