memories, that led to it's scarring
which I don't want to remember.
I'm trying to pour them out
onto this blank paper of mine.
Surprisingly,
nothing comes out.
I try again and still
can't write a word,
as I'm too scared
of people's reactions,
of what they'll say about the words
coming from my scarred heart.
Comments:
You're really improving, and I can tell you're working on cleaning up the way you write. That being said, there are still some minor things worth mentioning.
First, it should read, "a pen," not just "pen." Also, no one says "a paper." You either say "paper," which refers to multiple pieces of paper, or you say "a sheet of paper," suggesting that there is only one.
Second, "also to which" doesn't make grammatical sense in this context. Just cut "also to" and you'll be fine.
All in all, this is really an improvement, and I'm impressed. Nice job.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you so much Ethan for the review and feedback!! I really appreciate it once again and will try.. read moreThank you so much Ethan for the review and feedback!! I really appreciate it once again and will try to make the correction you've provided for my poem :)
I know how it feels to have a scarred heart. A very scarred heart. My heart is scarred with uncertainty and not knowing when and where i'll be unjudged. Accepted for me... it's nothing bad... but it just gets really hurtful and depressing sometimes.
I don't know how many others go through the same as i do... or if they have a reason of suffering a scarred heart. But this poem really grabs a person or two. It really touched me. Relates to how i feel at times. Being a transgender is not as easy as people would care to believe. It is not easy or simple. I can't say it for others... but i am the kind who always has to endure the stink of ridicule. Always had. Always.
This is one poem that i will not let down. This one gets max ratings. All ratings. I feel the heart in this. I do. Way to go. No faults in this. None.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you so much Joanna for the review and ratings! It really means a lot to me that you could rela.. read moreThank you so much Joanna for the review and ratings! It really means a lot to me that you could relate to this one! I understand it isn't easy for you, but I'm so glad you're trying your best to live through this! People who don't accept you for who you are don't have a heart at all, and you still have one, even though it may be scarred, but that can be fixed, just keep staying positive and remember that you're awesome just the way you are! :)
Ah, one shouldn't worry about what others might say about something or someone. But sadly...it isn't that way. And yes, this would be quite relatable...for many. Very truthul.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
I agree, it just makes it worse
Thank you Zoe!! :)
First of all... I love to write! It has always been my passion to write since... last year! :D I can easily pour my emotions in writing without telling them to anyone.
I love to review people's work.. more..