I'm all gone (Poem)

Expressing thoughts...

Treated like a ghost, I cry;

tears falling from my eyes

The loneliness, hard to bear;

wishing that somebody would care

Feeling so lost from inside;

my feeling's no longer can hide

No more joy or spirit in me;

I'm not the person I used to be

Always in a place with no light;

so that I can be out of sight

Away from the crowd of haters;

who make me think I'm a traitor

But, I've never done anything bad;

to the people who've made me so sad

All I want is to feel loved and cared for;

not to be thrown out the door

If this can't happen, that's it;

I may as well fall down a pit

'Cause in truth, no one will care;

it is false love that they declare

 

Reviews

[Saumya]

Often when we lose, there comes a phase when one almost doesn't like anything, and anyone around..that faith, that excitement, everything's is as if taken away, and what's left is a void..When mostly neither the suffers, nor the people perceive.People too start behaving wierd and that seriously becomes terrible...It is actually times like these when one yearns for a quality care, and the importance...But people hardly understand...And take the one for granted.

You've beautiful described that state of loss and despair in this piece 😊 I admire the very simplicity, innocence and honesty of this piece.

Well done!

[Mr.Writer]

Yeah, that void, it gets bigger and bigger and comes in our emotions and changes us to someone we're not...
Thank you so much Saumya! :)

[Saumya]

You're welcome 😊

[Joanna Matilda Barlow]

A Poem that makes a person feel as if they're so out of Familiarity with the rest of the world. It's so sad.

A very deep meaningful poem. Nice. It's a poem that really speaks to a person.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Joanna!
I really appreciate :)

[Joanna Matilda Barlow]

You're so welcome. I mean it. Be sure to read my stuff too. It's more than appreciated.

[Mr.Writer]

Yeah for sure, I'll definitely check them out :)

[Najam Us Saher]

I loved the tone of this poem. I felt sad reading the starting lines then in the end I read
"get eaten by a bear " This sentence made me laugh.
I felt there were few words which were written to continue the rhyme and it did not suite the sentence well.
You could have written the last line as
Cause in truth, no one will care,
It is false care and love that they declare.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Najam!
Haha yeah, I couldn't really find anything to end with care, so I choose bear :D
I love the suggestion you gave for the last line!
I'll probably use it as well, thank you! :)

[Najam Us Saher]

I am glad that you took my words in a positive way. I thank you for that ☺