Only if... (Story)

A short story...

Just you and I, holding hands while walking down the alley. We don't say anything to each other, just walk

But I wanted you to speak Henry. Pour out all the feelings you had for me, so I could do so as well before... never mind...

You were the one who always had my back when no one else did. You were the one who always talked to me when no else did. And you were the one who accepted me for who I was, a Jew, even though you were also one. I finally picked up the courage to ask you how you thought about me.

You said "As sweet as chocolate and as beautiful as a flower"

"Anything else..." I asked.  

But you didn't answer, just let go of my hand and ran away. I ran after you, following you as you went in your house and shut the door.

Tears fell down my face, as I banged on the door. What could I have possibly said to make you go away?

"I'm sorry Henry... please open the door."

But you didn't.  

Next day, my parents were dragged out of the house by Nazi soldiers and taken away to a concentration camp. 

And I couldn't do anything to stop it. I just silently cried and went to your house to share my sorrows.

The door of your house was left open. I slowly walked in and saw no one. 

"Henry! Mrs.Jeffrey! My parents were taken away! Please, where are you? Hello! " No reply. 

All over in chalk was written...

"My parents were taken away..."

I broke into sobs as I saw a hanged body. I fell down, screaming as loud as a booming cannon. It was your body, Henry

Author's Note

Any feedback?
Did you like it?

Reviews

[CAPOLAVORO]

This is just enough for me. To talk about the torture the Jews had is already too much to handle. This is a reality at that time and you did the writing well. Well done.

[Mr.Writer]

I know, it's alot to handle, and very deep in history as well.
Thank you so much Capolavoro :)

[Aubrey Harrell]

You made me start to cry. Omg, I WANT MORE! DON'T LEAVE THE STORY AT THAT! NOOOOOOO! This is breathtaking. I mean I am dieing right now because you took my breath AND my lungs. Dang man this is impressive.

[Mr.Writer]

Awee, thank you so much! :)
I reallyyy appreciate it! :)

[Aubrey Harrell]

Well, I am mad at you now. I need you to finish the story for me please! THAT would be appreciated. Make this a book!

[Mr.Writer]

Lol, I'm sorry :D
Hmm, I could make a book, I'll see and tell you :)

[Aubrey Harrell]

Great! I can't wait until you make it because I am going to make you! 🤗

[Mr.Writer]

Lol yep :D

[SM Davis]

evocative. I agree with Ken...could not have said it better...(a rare happenstance that I ever could) but a writer's true test is whether or not emotions can be involuntarily extracted from the reader. You did that here. 100 daisies for this one Emma. Most certainly.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you!! :) I really apprecite it :)

[Ken Simm.]

Did I like it? I don't think this is a story that could be liked as such. It can be admired and I do, lots. It can be studied and it is worth the study. It can be seen by the discerning reader as a nicely crafted piece. But because of the subject matter I don't think it can be liked. It is educational, sad and written with just the right amount of pathos. I was impressed throughout. Well done.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Ken for reviewing! :)
That's true, it can't exactly be "liked"
It's a deep topic and goes a long way.

[Farhan Shaikh]

I wish it could be longer but no problem.
The way you've given a start to the story i knew it is going to be better and unsurprisingly it is more better..like the story Shaan

[emmajoy]

This began in such a gentle loving manner, smooth, calm phrases. It seemed to be the start of a love story, true, serious, sincere. Then, you use the word so many people feared to say or hear - many not even daring to say what was converted into something feared and loathed by the vicious invading forces of that period. And what happens, your Henry rushes off without warning, without a word, The loving bubble was burst; your description created shivers, became almost abrupt, cold. as they would at the shock of your parents cruel removal and the sight of Henry. You surely know that that scene or similar was repeated time and time again. Loved ones dragged away, nevfer to be seen again. Ever..

So many feared the future, feared whether or not they had the courage to face the enemy with courage,or, could remain with those they were expected to to expose..

Who knows why Henry hanged himself. Perhaps the answer need to sway in the air like his body. But how tragic the entire scene and how finely written. You didn't resort to melodrama, there were few pauses only a considered build.up of language that actually was surely based around reality. History, facts abide, believe me.

Congratulations, this is a moving beautiful sadness which will stay inside me for a while. A sign of fine and sincere writing.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Emma for the detailed review! :)
I didn't want to make it too sad, so left out some details with Henry and her. :)

[emmajoy]

If you say so.. tis a theme i know of via one of my uni modules, plus further info collected over the year.. don't doubt you might know far more too. Think the circumstances make for sadness and also, amazing courage.

[emmajoy]

please read year(S)

[Cœur]

This was amazing, but I do wish it were longer, had more background. It seemed to short, so rushed. The overall story itself was beautiful, I've always had a passion for the personal lives of people during World War II.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Couer!
I appreciate the feedback and will try to improve :)

[Jessica Lima]

I enjoyed it quite a bit. Just as I was getting more and more engrossed in it, it ended suddenly. Henry made more than one mistake in such little time. You portray well how different people deal with the same problem.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Jessica! :)
Sorry for the sudden ending, I didn't mean to scare any of you :P :)

[Hope]

I certainly liked it.
A touching work, Mr writer!
The holocaust is certainly a gruesome and dark phase of history and you gave us a first- hand experience of the sorrows of the Jews.
Really Great write:)

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Naat! :)
The Holocaust is indeed dark history

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad story written in the words. In my lifetime. I met survivors of the Death camps. They lost people and became stronger. You create situation and very sad ending. Thank you for sharing the powerful story.
Coyote

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Coyote! :) I appreciate it :)
Ohh, how did they feel about the camps and how did you feel when meeting them? :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I didn't know the value of the experience till I left them. Today I would of befriend them. The death camps. You still could feel the dead lingering and smell hair in 1976.