I'm watching you (Poem)

I'm watching you...

Observing how you leave out of the blue

Without telling me

I grab my keys and start the car

Driving wherever you go

You notice me and start walking faster

My speed also starts increasing 

You take a left and run into the forest

I stop my car in the middle of the road and enter the forest

Bushes swaying on my face I stop

I hear the sound of panting and footsteps

I take out my pistol and fire it straight ahead

BOOM! 

I hear groaning ahead, not far from me

I walk ahead slowly, making sure it is you

And indeed it is...

I kick you in the stomach, making sure more blood spurts out

Wails echoed the forest, scaring the birds

They tweet fast as they fly away

I start to suffocate you, leaving you gasping for breath

I point my pistol on your forehead. 

"I'm watching you." I say with a chuckle

BOOM!

Author's Note

This is purely fictional :) this isn't intended for anyone and is just for fun

Reviews

[Lady Glitter]

Well, Mr. Writer (Shaan), I came to read something very different, and got shocked, with my heart beating wildly in the end. Wasn't going to leave a reply, but scanned some of the others, and have to admit...this was horrible, just horrible...but your writing is superb.

As other commentors implied, there is frightening succinctness about it that not only draws the reader quickly inside, but really catches him/her by surprise at the end. Even though you know what's happening as you are taken along in this fast-paced, yet stealthy incident, at the end you're like "WHAT HAPPENED!", lol!

Unlike one reader who felt that she was the stalked, I felt like somehow I'd gotten attached to you and you were dragging me along, whether I'd agreed to go or not! So kudos to you for a ripping micro story/poem!

And thanks so much for reviewing my poem "The Draining." Don't know when I've had such a strong, yet short comment that impacted me like yours did! Now off to read something of yours that is a little more soothing to the thin veins and arteries of the 50+ crowd!

BTW, have you read "A Simple Plan" by Scott Smith? If you saw the movie with Billy Bob Thornton, it's no where near the same. Shocking what any one of us could do if the right circumstances merged into a personal Bermuda Triangle of horror. You can only get the full shock of this novel by reading it.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Lady Glitter!!! I really appreciate the detailed review you've given me. I tried to convey as many emotions as possible to let the reader enjoy and not get bored. I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

[Aubrey Harrell]

Ok, well you scared me. XD This is amazing how you made me feel as if the person that got shot was me. You made me shudder. I see you said is was for fun well if I was an enemy of yours I would run for the hills. This is very well written and very well put. I can't wait to read more! XD

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Aubrey! I'm really happy that I scared you, because you should be XD

[Aubrey Harrell]

XD Loves it Writer! I just put up a new poem you should go check it out.

[Kesha]

Lol oh wow, Idk why I'm laughing but I chuckled at the ending! This is my kind of writing! This was wonderful, you should read one of mine titled "Beneath the light of the moon" yours kind of reminded me of that one of mine.

[Mr.Writer]

Oh thank you so much!! :) I will for sure review it :)
I'm glad u liked it

[Kesha]

You are very welcome! :) Sounds good :)

[CAPOLAVORO]

I'm watching you too haha. This one is fantastic. You do know how to build up stages for suspense. This is like climbing a ladder where you know you will never fall. You did not fail to deliver the deliverable. Keep writing.

[Mr.Writer]

Lol :D Thank you so much!! :) I love you work as well

[CAPOLAVORO]

You are very much welcome. :)

[matrixmark]

A fiction story in a poetry piece...nice.
Short, sharp and shocking I think would be the best way to describe this piece. Even though the imagery with the forest was brief (I know you can't put a lot of description in a poem) it was a perfect setting for such a piece.

For obvious reasons I like the horror of it all.

Great work.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Mark! Lol, I kinda made it based off Ray tbh, sorry ;D

[matrixmark]

I did have a sneaky feeling that you did and it was in theback of my mind And I the forest bit is included a lot in my book and a lot worse does happen. But without stealing your thunder, if Ray didn't exist then this piece would still stand strong on its own.

I am flattered that you did base it on Ray and I feel very privelged to have read the piece.

Mark.

[Mr.Writer]

Yeah :D I'm really happy you liked this poem! I look forward to writing more of these and you're my inspiration :) You actually are :)

[matrixmark]

Very very kind words Shaan and they do mean a lot to me. I am just....me and do what I do. Just...Mark.

But people find inspiration from anywhere and if you find inspiration from my writing then I truly am very flattered.

Mark.

[Mr.Writer]

No problem Mark! :)

[matrixmark]

Check out a piece by RAYSIRA...its called' the memoir of' I think you will like it.Its in dedication of Ray.

Well worth the read.

Mark

[Mr.Writer]

Thanks Mark! I'd really like to read that

[matrixmark]

Enjoy.

Mark.

[Mr.Writer]

It WAS AMAZING! Wow, seriously... he/she added all the details of how Ray was! How smart! :)

[matrixmark]

Its a very good piece and I was floored when I read it. I do hope you left a review as it is very worthy.

Mark.

[Mr.Writer]

Yeah, I left a review :)

[matrixmark]

Thank you Shaan, I know they will appreciate it. You're a true gentleman and a star. Also very funny - that mashed potatoe poem is still in my head.

Mark.

[Mr.Writer]

Awee thanks so much Mark! :) But your the major gentleman :) You always leave quality feedback for us :) Thank you so much! :)

[Mr.Writer]

You have a great sense of humour as well! Very friendly and warm to everyone :)

[matrixmark]

I try my best. Thank you for acknowledging.

Mark.

[Tina H.W.]

Oh my goodness...! Such imaginary, Shaan! It's more like a story but it's just the type I like; suspenseful and atmospheric with plenty of drama. You are a good writer! I really liked this piece :)

[Mr.Writer]

Thanks so much! :) I really appreciate all the comments I get!! :)

[Tina H.W.]

My pleasure, Shaan. It's really good read :)

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you! I've actually just post a new one :D

[Surya]

Well it is more related to psychopath additional to thrilling...
And described well...
I enjoyed this ride..:)

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much!! :)

[Jessica Lima]

My favorite part is the ending. It like looking into a psychopath mind you know?

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you! I know! :D It's like the mind of it :)

[Paradox]

Omg! Someone's murdered..... Law enforcements are watching u...... Just cracking jkes.
Nice write... Exciting and thrilling

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you!! :)

[writ rajat]

This is purely fictional :) this isn't intended for anyone and is just for fun