The fire (Story)

I stepped into the desolate, silent house.

The first think I peeked at was the frame of my dear, lovely parents.

Their beautiful smiles gleamed at my face. 

The same smile they gave me every time when I came back home from smoking or playing poker at the Casino.

But what did I do? I rolled my eyes at them and slammed my bedroom door shut.

 The frame soon reflected the frame of dear 'ol Joey and Millie, my brother and sister.

When I usually left the room to eat dinner, mother, father and I, ate in silence, until they came. 

They would start to sing When Doves Cry at the dinner table, drumming their fingers to add a bit of music.

When we ate spaghetti, they would take the noodles by their hands and drop it into their mouths and would force me to do it, but I never did it. 

In fact, as a response, I cursed at them and went back to my bedroom.

I closed my eyes as hot tears spurted down them, going down my chest.  

Guilt. 

That's what I felt.

My family... they did so much to make me happy.

 But, I couldn't even do a single thing for them. 

All I could do was be negative and rebel against them .

I went further down the hallway.

Each footstep I took echoed across the room, making a loud booming noise.

I tore down the white covers that covered all the furniture and thrusted them to the ground.

I held the navy blue china vase and clutched it in my hand. 

This vase held all the flowers we bought in the family.

I peered at the vase with deep interest. 

I saw Joey's reflection, sitting on his knees, pretending he was proposing Millie and gave her the flowers. Then later, she placed the flowers in the vase. 

Then I saw the most dreadful reflection. 

The fire. 

The fire, that killed each and every one of them.

From mother to father and from Joey to Millie.

The fire played in my eyes and in horror, I let go of the vase, letting it shatter into thousands of pieces.

I turned around and rushed back outside, started my car and left the house.

Reviews

[Broken Hearts]

Wonderfully worded piece with lots of imagery. I really enjoyed reading this!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much! :)

[matrixmark]

This sentence...I tore down the white covers that covered all the furniture and thrusted them to the ground. - The word 'thrusted' needs to be 'thrust'

This sentence - The fire played in my eyes and in horror, I let go of the vase, letting it shatter into thousands of pieces.

Change it to - The fire played in my eyes as I let go of the vase, and watched it shatter into thousands of pieces

The above are there just for guidelines and to help you - nothing more, nothing less.

Good strong imagery was in this piece and it did capture my minds eye.

Mark.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Mark! :) I really appreciate it!!!! I'm so excited to read your chapter!! Can't wait :)

[matrixmark]

No worries, as always I am only trying to help as I do with many on here. The images were powerful I have to say.
Hope you enjoy the chapter

Mark.

[Mr.Writer]

Yep I will :) I'll have to read it in an hour, as I was doing a project for school :(

[matrixmark]

Do what you got to do. School project....I remember those days...lol

Mark

[Mr.Writer]

Lol :D I know, I just quickly skimmed through some peoples work which they shared to me, and reviewed it and now feel bad :( Lol,

[matrixmark]

Well, make it up to them next time. Or go back to it and add more to the review.

Mark.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Mark! :) I really appreciate a talented man like you, sharing your work with us :) Keep it up! :)

[matrixmark]

Very kind words. I REALLY DO appreciate everybodys support and comments on my work. It means so much to me.
Lets hope my new chapter lives up to your expectations.

Mark.

[Stacy Purvis]

"The first think I peeked at was..."
Should be THING
Again, take time to sit in front of your pc and reread and edit each piece. I think you'll be pleased with the results. : )

[Mr.Writer]

Lol, thank you Anastasia! :)

[Aubrey Harrell]

You started to make me cry! This can't be described because no words in my vocabulary could say how good this is. Keep this up and you will be a famous writer one day. :)

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much! This means so much for me!! :)

[writ rajat]

Very inspiring story keep it up I will publish in my magazine

[Mr.Writer]

Awee thank you so much! :)

[Tina H.W.]

I really liked this. Really well worded with tremendous imaginary. It's honest and heartfelt.
I enjoyed! :)

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much!! :)

[Tina H.W.]

You are welcome so much! :)

[CAPOLAVORO]

This is good. I like the idea of remembering past events. The imagery is good its just that I want more attitude and character from the point of view. All in all, well done. Keep writing.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you! :))

[Surya]

Such a pain, your gentle and honest words adds much quality to your story....Just one thing to correct regarding grammar is G in think is replaced by K as think...that's it...:)

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much! :) I will make the corrections soon

[JessyJacob]

I like the story, which made me to think, how can one put off the fire, only death can take out the inner diya/soul/fire, i.e. the two themsleves are burning then, now, and tommorow too, continuously ever.

I liked pic of Surya and the comments, for reviving being the Best(Greatest) of all time. I want to say Sir, the title given to highly respected man even in family too. Few things are good and few are bad, uniting together, making equal for what they are to us.

Thank you Mr.Writer, making live with nice story and with your graceful nature.

[Surya]

Wow such a beautiful review, cingrats Mr.Writer and thank you Jessy for involving me, Hahaha...:)

[JessyJacob]

You are very welcome. Its my pleasure.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Jessy! :D really appreciated

[JessyJacob]

You are very welcome.