Endearment (poem)

You've made me whole from a half

You've always pass a smile as I laugh

The beauty of nature pales in comparison to the beauty of your face

So much, that it will cause it a disgrace 

I hear you play the chimes as gently and delicate as when you touch me all over

I'm the luckiest person in the world that I won't even need a four leaf clover

You remain at my side when the sun rises

And I rest my head by your shoulder when the sun sets 

Just one request, please stay with me forever

No matter where you go, I'll follow whatsoever 

Just let me come close 

Let's fill the gaps so there's no space for the air, and take off our clothes 

Touch my hair the way you always did

And let's both close our eyelids

By: MrWriter (Shaan)

Reviews

[Mystery]

Got the kind of summer in the park vibe but its cute

[Mr.Writer]

Awe, thanks so much! :)

[Mystery]

Of course.

[Peter Rogerson]

There's nothing wrong with Eros sticking his nose in! I like it, though I did wonder if the odd rhyme might be a bit forced. But that's not really a criticism.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much! I know, I kinda did force it in lol,

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This started as romantic and ended as lightly sensual in the erotic sense. I liked that touch to it.

"Let's fill the gaps so there's no space for the air,"
I liked this line a lot.

For critiques, you need to correct the second line of the first stanza:
"You've always pass a smile as I laugh"
should be "passed" or replace the "you've" with "you".

Well penned, Shaan. I enjoyed reading this :)

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Yumna! I always appreciate all the feedback and reviews I get, thank you for reading this! It's really appreciated! I'll be checking more of your work today :)
Thank you! :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hey, no I don't review works to get people to reciprocate lol I just love butting in other people's work ;P
You're welcome. Always a pleasure reading good works :)

[Mr.Writer]

Oh no, I also do the same Yumna! You see, I'm not doing this for the people whom I review the work of, I do it for myself ;) I love reading! There are thousands of pieces for me to read on this community! So you know... dig in! xD Lol

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hear, hear :)