Home, sweet, home (Chapter 5)

Adding on to the story

There wasn’t money, which meant no food, water,  home, and … education.

The scene created at the farm was horrible! It showed how I meant to mother. That I should just rest at home all day, watching mother suffer. Let Seera cry for food. Let my inner cryself get tortured to guilt.

“I’ve got to do something! Something to convince mother to let me do a job!” I said to myself.

Seera rushed towards me crying. “Mum-ma, not here!”

Wait! Where did mother go?

“D-don’t cry!” I told her. “She’ll be back!”

“Mum-ma, angry.”

My heart melt out. “N-no, Seera, don’t worry!”

“Ok, Sallu!” she said.

She went back to play with her teddy bear.

Mother probably went to get a job! I told myself. Everything’s fine. Calm down Saleem.

But, what about you helping mother? She thinks you’re useless!

When she comes back, go show her that you’re not!

I let out a sigh.  “Thoughts! Go to hell!”

A little while later, mother came back. The first one to go jump into her arms was Seera.

“Mum-ma! You back!” she shouted out. “Sallu! Look! Mum-ma, happy!” Seera’s eyes glistened like diamonds.

“Yes Seera, I’m really happy!”

She looked at me brightly. “Salam, Saleem.”

I hesitated to reply, finding my words.

“Walaikum Salam, mother…”

“I’ve got good news for both of you! I’ve found a job!”

My heart pounded with anger.

“Why!” I blurted out.

Mother’s look changed.

“What do you mean “why” ?” she asked. “You’ll get to go back to school, Saleem! Meet, your friends… eat lunch with them… study… “

“Yeah, right! With such a small salar-”

“The salary is 25000! Per day!”

My mouth dropped wide open in disbelief.

“They’re lying t-to you!” I stammered.

“Why would they? Think about it! Why?”

I said “Oh… ok… well, congratulations then!” and walked away.

School would be back! I couldn’t believe it! I frisked secretly, making sure mother or Seera didn’t see. My skin tingled with joy. I felt my breaths quicken. We would finally eat three times a day, instead of one! I decided to sleep early, so I could go to school early and meet everyone.

I dressed into my navy-blue uniform once again. I combed my hair with my hands, making it look nice for the day back at school. I drank a full dipper of water for breakfast. Mother came to me, and placed the school fees in my school bag.

“Take care, Saleem. Have a great day at school!” she said delightfully.

I wanted to smile, but made a straight face. “ Ok, Allah hafiz.” and left for school in the cool breeze once again. I was still angry at mother. If only she tried to be a bit more nice and hadn’t made a scene at the farm, I could have happily said bye to her.

Why are you thinking about this, Saleem? Be happy and think about school!

I grinned. Most kids in my classroom didn’t even like school. What made them happy was video games. I bet they also survived school the whole day just to get a video game when they came back home.

I strided for a few more steps until I reached the front gates of the school, which listed:

Hassan Altaf Middle School

“Finally,” I said to myself. “I’m back.”

I walked past the hallways to my class. Mrs.Sheikh found me,

“Salam Saleem. Do you have your school fees?”

“Walaikum Salam.Yes miss.” I propped open my bag and took the envelope out. “Here they are. I was going to give them to the office.”

“No, it’s not necessary, I’ll give it to them myself. Take out your English notebook and go in the classroom. We’re learning the forms of poetry.”

By math, almost everyone in the school knew that I came back. During breaks, they chit chatted, inferring and guessed of how I came back.
“I reckon his mother loaned money from a neighbor, promising to pay back soon.” was a common one.

Not one person said “hi” to me.

Hot tears spurted down my cheeks.

Focus Saleem! Don’t ruin your mood, and try to solve these math expressions before you get scolded in front of the class.

I fiddled with my pencil, trying to solve the expression: 7x - 15 = 20

“Umm… what could it be?” I questioned myself. “How about… doing the opposite operation? 20 + 15 equals… 35!”  People glanced at me, chuckling quietly.

“Look’s like he’s struggling with math, which is the easiest subject!” Arif said.

Go beg to your parents for a new video game and get lost!  I thought.

I finished the problem and found the value of X, which was 5.

I raised my hand. “Miss! Adam is peering at my sheet!”

Mrs.Sheikh turned to face Arif. “Arif, don’t cheat!”

His mouth flew wide open. “But… but… I didn’-”

“I think you should give him extra lessons after school. He definitely needs help and assistance.” I uttered.

“I think you’re right Saleem.” she said, still looking at Arif

Who’s the boss now?  Arif stuck his middle finger at me.

“Miss! Arif just showed me his middle finger!”

She gave Arif a stern look.

“I’m taking you straight to the office, young man!”

I waved at him, Bye bye, have fun!

Arif’s clenched fists told me that he would come back for revenge.

Guess I’m the boss, for now. I beamed

I walked out from the front gates in the chilly weather. When I get home, the first time I was going to was thank mother. Due to her savings and new job, I got to go to school.  15 minutes later, I got home. No one was at home. It vas vacant. I entered my room and found a note sitting on my chador (bed)

Dear Saleem.

I hope you had a great day at School!  I wanted to let you know that I won’t be home right now.  My job started and I’m delivering special packages right now to people around this area. I can’t say when I’ll be back but it’ll be soon. Seera’s at Saima aunty’s house, since I couldn’t leave her alone. After freshening up, please pick Seera from her house and come back here.

Allah-hafiz

• Mother

Special packages to people? 25000 rupees for that? That seemed quite weird to be honest. Once mother would come home, I was going to ask her more about this job.

I freshened up and picked Seera from Saima aunty’s house.

Together, Seera and I walked home in the chilly and sudden gusts of wind, patiently waiting for mother to come back and tell us all about her job. But seriously… I had a doubt that she would come home with 25000 rupees clutched in her hands. It just seemed too much, I don’t know why, but it did. It really did.

Author's Note

Was there any progress to the story
Dialogues,

Reviews

[Alice Maria]

I love how this book is progressing. Wonderful chapter. Can't wait for th next one.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much! :)

[heartspeaks]

few mistakes here and there...😅
“Thoughts! Go to hell!” Fab line.👌 Emotions are beautifully described...good cliff hanging ..
good chapter. 7/10.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank uu!! :)

[heartspeaks]

no problem :P

[Farhan Shaikh]

Woww, its interesting to follow, very well penned

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you!

[Stacy Purvis]

I like this story very much. My only suggestion is to get an editor. What a difference it could make.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much!! :)

[K.L. Ravns]

good effort. The first paragraph is quite confusing the first read through and needs to be revisited. Work on showing an emotion rather than just telling it. You can do this through body language. what if Saleem hears his mother talking as he impatiently crosses his arms? or taps his foot so loudly the old farmhouse floorboards creak? or what if the teacher glares at Arif as they push up their glasses onto their nose. think of how your characters are using their body language to communicate their feelings. Try not to use the exclamation point as often. this can be fixed easily by showing instead of telling. Watch out for tenses, often you switch, if English is your second language this is common. Each chapter or scene should be an action - which consists of a goal obstacle and outcome or a reaction - reaction, dilemma and choice. This helps with structure and readability. All of this is easily available to find information online. understanding structure has immensely helped my writing. hopefully this helps. have fun writing!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much for the detailed review! I really appreciate all the feedback I get