The storm of the tears

An interesting story on a child mistaken to have a problem and transferred to the orphanage

“Louis, please drive faster! I won’t be able to suffer any longer…” shrieked Rosalie.

“ I’m losing control… What if I lose him… or her aga--”

“Do not utter those words! I’m driving faster than the speed limit allowed here. Take deep breaths Rosy,’ said Louis.

‘deep breaths…” repeated Louis, in a calm and soothing voice.

Rosalie heeded Louis’s advice and took deep breaths, a little too deep, but making out her condition, it made sense. Her heart pounded, sweat trickled off her burning red cheeks and to top it off, she stated her last wishes in case she were to expire during the delivery. A bumpy crack on the road jerked Rosalie off her seat, leaving her silent with despair.

Once they reached the hospital, Louis got hold of Rosalie and heaved her inside the hospital, rushing to the Labour and Birth section, meeting his friend, Doctor Clasbey on the way.

“Mr.Wilson… oh my! What happened to Rosalie?” she questioned, looking seriously alarmed.

“I haven’t the faintest clue of what happened. When I came home from the hospital, she was lying on the floor, wailing in pain.”

“Even though it’s two months early, should we start the delivery?”

“I think that’s the only way. I can’t just leave my wife on the edge of a precipice and watch her and the child suffer!” Louis sobbed.

Doctor Clasbey, tight-lipped decided to scoot from the area, leaving him to endure with the pain.

Louis had started Rosalie’s delivery. It was a hassle focusing due to all the tension and stress he had dealt with.  He had performed hundreds of deliveries at this point, but seemed to be struggling with this one the most. After all, the patient whom he conducted the operation on was his sweet and caring wife.  After the laborious delivery, Louis could officially call himself a father, blessed with twins. Later after examining one of the twins, Louis froze on the spot, paralyzed at what he’d seen. He carelessly seized one of his children, placed him in the car, and drove to the orphanage. He fulfilled all the requirements, signed the forms and left him in care of the orphanage. On the drive back to Mrs.Wilson at the hospital, Mr.Wilson wailed and wailed, feeling that a tremendous piece of his happiness had already been engulfed in the flames. Louis drove straight back to his wife, to embark on a new future with Rosalie and Ophelia, a name that he thought of having for his new-born daughter, unfortunately to be left as an only child.

What had happened to Louis and Rosalie’s other child? Was he a lonely orphan, sitting on the grounds of the Orphanage, wailing and crying of why his parents left him here? No. Miraculously, 3 years after being held captive in an Orphanage since he was born and when the new Government arrived, Louis and Rosalie’s child was going to be adopted by a couple, surprisingly with a child beforehand.

“Excuse me? Not wanting to offend you but, why would you be in need of another child?’ The lady’s eyebrow twitched, dazed and confused she replied,

“My 5 year old son has been longing for another sibling but unfortunately, I couldn’t bear another so, after making a huge decision, I decided to adopt one.”

“Ohh, uh… I see, I see…” rudely mumbled one of the staff members.

The Government’s arrival didn’t provide happiness as everyone would have awaited for, it had only given despair and disappointment. Taxes were the Government’s weapon as they increased every, single day. Services like the Orphanage were special targets of receiving tax. The Orphanage decided to invite a few couples to choose and pick who they wanted to adore and give a better life to for the rest of their lives. This way, the Orphanage wouldn’t have to buy heaps of supplies for the orphans and the couples could adopt a child.

Mr and Mrs Fallon, the couple with the only child, brung him to their home to start a new future.  Their 5 year old son, Dwayne had been so excited that he teemed with joy! He insisted upon naming his brother Kenneth, his best friend at school. Every single day, he would watch his mother changing, feeding or even singing a lullaby at night. So soft and delicately, that Kenneth would fall asleep in seconds. Dwayne had been so eager to entertain his little brother, that he always joyfully stormed into his parents room and started to make silly faces or fly him up to the ceiling even after his parents told him a countless number of times not to.

Once again, years had passed to find the Government developing more hideous schemes to find a way to get their filthy hands on people’s money.   Everything had deteriorated, flipped the environment into a war zone, ruining the peace of the public. Torches were lit to show their loathing and disgust for them. Rocks were thrown outside the office of the Minister and a numerous amount of other menacing things.

The most special things that changed were Dwayne and Kenneth. They had grown older and so did their bond of brotherhood. Even though Dwayne and Kenneth couldn’t hang out that much as they used to due to an immense amount of studies, they still tried to when they got a chance.  

The 15th annual conference had been held for the Government to celebrate 15 years and to share and explain their new tactics of dishonesty.

“Welcome to the 15th annual conference of  “Achieving for Benefit” at Hollow-Hills my dear fellow colleagues!” exclaimed the Minister gleefully.

“Hope you all had a marvelous summer filled with contentment and relaxation.’

‘with work of course!” added the Minister in a half-hearted smile.

“Now, let’s not waste time and limit our meeting to an hour so I can give all of you a surprise before it ends, OK?”

Everyone present at the conference nodded delightfully, finally hoping to get an increase in their salary as it was less than a janitor’s pay working at a school but actually should have been over the minimum wage. “Good. This year’s employees shall increase their amount of effort 10 times more than last year since the community has gone ballistic and won’t even pay heed to one damn thing we say!” Two bottles of Bourbon Whiskey jerked off the table, splintering into hundreds of pieces.

This seemed to have woke up many from their dream of purchasing a ravishing Lamborghini from their fanatical salary-increase or even to find themselves unlocking a briefcase filled with  cash, enough to leave their so called job.

“My bad, always dropping something every day…. well you already know that it’s my thing.” chirped the Minister, adding a laugh, so dull and tedious which no one decided to give back.

“Oliver… Oliver!” he barked.

Oliver scurried so fast, praying that he hadn’t missed a speck of dust in cleaning the conference room, that when he ended up in front of the minister, it was evident that he ran a ten kilometre marathon.

The minister motioned his head towards the pile of shattered glass.

“Do you see this? Now clean it up, fast! Oh, and fetch two more wine glasses from the cabinet after you seize every single piece of glass from the floor.’

‘thanks.” he added blandly. Oliver let out a sigh of relief, thanking God that for the first time in history, he wasn’t the problem.

After receiving two brand-new and polished glasses from his servant, Oliver, the Minister continued the meeting.

‘Sorry for all that ruckus, so… where did we leave off again?”

“Your habit of dropping things everyday, Mr. McClain, uh-I mean Minister.”

A couple of others exchanged grins and smiles and were starting to enjoying themselves

Mr. McClain, the Minister, looked at him sharply, his mouth curving as if it was going to eat the guy’s head off.

“Everyone shall get only half of their deserved payment for this month, no exceptions and comments will be taken. I will be hopeful if we can finish the meeting without interruptions now.”

“But sir… This isn’t fair! I mean, how much salary do we get anyways? 10 dollars an hour? If you deduct half of that, it will be left to only 5 dollars an hour. We have to provide our family with bread and butter as well!” squealed a colleague.

“Guess I didn’t make myself clear enough, whoever doesn’t agree with this, is highly welcomed to get the hell out of here!” spat the Minister.

Everyone started muttering words under their breath like: Stupid, greedy, jerk, dipstick.

And so the argument started, leaving no stone unturned to vanish the dreams of the salary increase, forget the cheap surprise Mr. McClain left for his colleagues which were dollar store bought Smencils.

There was a special nickname sweetly named by the public kept for the Government, especially the Minister which was “corrupt” The chance of the public ever siding with the Government was as slim as an eclipse scheduled today, even though one could happen today…

Meanwhile, Louis, hadn’t been doing too well. Sadly, he had 4th stage brain cancer. Rosalie was a mess. She stayed up late at nights to serve her husband by giving him medicines, sneaking late at night from their daughter Ophelia to take walks at the park. Every other moment, he muttered words like:

I have done you wrong, I’m unfaithful, Wish I hadn’t abandoned my son…

To cap it off, the Government had been highly charging them with taxes since they weren’t so wealthy anymore after Louis had retired from being a surgeon, which meant that they were in a financial crisis. The chemotherapy was really expensive to afford and showed no improvement to his health. It just kept on deteriorating and deteriorating. Ophelia too, was extremely stressed and had halted her studies, especially, the research of proof to show the Minister’s true colors to the public (even though everyone knew).

Eventually, Louis had expired from brain cancer, leaving Rosalie and Ophelia to shed tears and to continue tackling and facing conflicts from the government. The atmosphere had totally changed and was silent as a grave.

“Mom, why did daddy have to die? I mean, how could he just leave us all alone?! I want him BACK! I want to shout in his face that I LOVE HIM!” cried Ophelia.

Rosalie, left with despair was about to reply when she saw a golden stamp shone beside the bedside table. It caught her eye, so she walked towards it at a slow pace. It was a letter, for both mother and daughter from Louis.

Dear Rosalie and Ophelia,

When you find this letter, I may not be alive. I have lots of things to say to both of you, especially Rosalie. Secrets, to be specific. First of all, be ready to hear this, both of you.

“Ophelia, come here dear! Daddy has left a letter for us.” Ophelia rushed to Rosalie, looking at the letter with great interest.  We had twins. Ophelia had another sibling that I snatched from her. I know you must be feeling confused as to how this could have happened. On the day of your delivery, I found out that one of our children had a problem. Why? He wasn’t responding well as a new-born baby. Ophelia was, even for being born two months earlier than schedule. I took him to the orphanage and left him there. Rosalie jerked her head vigorously in disapproval and started to wail again.

I’m sorry Rosalie. I know that you were quite depressed after your miscarriage before we had twins and if the child had died, you would have broken down to bits. Rosalie just tossed the letter and couldn’t read anymore of it. However, Ophelia picked up the letter and continued to read it.  Apparently, the child DIDN’T have a problem. He was adopted by a couple years ago, when Ophelia and him were just three. I’m sorry. If possible, please forgive me…

• Louis

PS: Address of Mr. and Mrs. Fallon (our child’s new parents) �'  114 Maple St.

A couple of days later, Rosalie and Ophelia went to this address to request Kenneth back. About Louis… They didn’t consider him dear anymore, more like an enemy for giving him away thinking he had a problem.

“You want Kenneth back? How do we even know he’s your son?” questioned Mrs. Fallon.

“Here are the papers and birth certificate that my husband gave to me years ago.”

“Why would you just dump in the orphanage if he had a problem or illness. You should have stayed with him!” hissed Mr Fallon.

“We were wrong, OK? It was mistake-’

“ A HUGE mistake!” corrected Mrs. Fallon.

Kenneth and Dwayne rushed downstairs, wondering what all the ruckus was about.

“Mom and dad, what happene-”

“Oh my son!! Which one?” asked Rosalie.

Mr. and Mrs. Fallon motioned their head towards Kenneth.   Rosalie embraced him but Kenneth let go. “Who are you?”

“I’m, ya-yoo--you’re mother Kenneth dear,’ stuttered Rosalie. ‘I’ve come to bring you back,” said Rosalie clearly.

“Look, Ophelia, your sister has come to see you too.”

Kenneth’s eyes popped wide in disbelief, unable to believe what he’d just witness.

“You two are twins, did you know that Kenneth dear?” added Rosalie.

After that, he almost blacked out to the floor, but Dwayne shoved him back up to his feet, also unable to accept the reality.

“It would be the biggest gift in my life, if you could return my son, it’s a mother's request…’

Mr. and Mrs. Fallon exchanged looks. “Wha-wha-what do you mean?! We can’t just let you take him away from our sights!” Kenneth and Dwayne’s parents barked.

“Also, what about Dwayne? Just because he’s intensely focused in his studies, doesn’t mean that he’ll just abandon Kenneth,”preached Mr. Fallon.

Dwayne stepped into the prolonged quarrel. “ I’ll leave my education to a halt, I’ll leave my proof-searching against the Government for later. Don’t snatch away my brother, he’s the only one I have except for my parents…’ whispered Dwayne calmly.

‘only one…” repeated Dwayne.

Ophelia raised her hand, then raised it down after everyone stared at her like she was sick in the brain.

“I wanted to say hi to Kenneth and… I've, too, been doing some researching for proof against the Ministry to defame them.” Dwayne didn’t reply, he just stared at the floor in horror, having a tight grip on Kenneth’s hand, that it started to swell in seconds.  

Rosalie continued the conversation, “let Kenneth make a decision then… whatever he wants will happen, agree?” Kenneth felt like his head was going to blow up in pressure. There was absolutely no way he could have made à decision. A right one, especially. His heart pounded, he got severe cramps in the stomach and observed everyone blankly, feeling dazed, hoping that this was just a horrific dream and praying that he didn’t need to choose between one. Oh God, please kill me, Kenneth thought.  

Dwayne had seen Kenneth turning blue in the face.“Kenneth, let’s go back upstairs, you need some rest.” And without waiting for his reply, he captured Kenneth’s wrist and dragged it upstairs while Kenneth took one last look at his mother and sister and was curious of where his father was?

Author's Note

How's the story overall? Is the dialogue too much for a short story? Is it captivating for the readers?
Thanks!

Reviews

[em]

that's a great snippet! i think you have a really well thought out idea here. here's a bit of help: one thing my old teachers used to tell me is that around half of your story should be dialogue, unless it is the thoughts of someone's point of view. other than that tip, keep up the good work!

[Mr.Writer]

Thanks so much! Is it that I have a bit too much of dialogue or I need some more

[em]

just a bit too much, no big deal.

[Mr.Writer]

Kk thank youu