Second chances

A Chapter by Missy

Amber and Jesse arrive to the same party. Does Jesse speak to her knowing her families dead because of him? Does Amber notice Jesse? What happens at the party?

"To take a chance with you would make me a fool. Then again only fools take chances. Only chances reach the gardens of love."

Two-years-later

The dream was always the same never different, never a happy ending. That summer at the cabin two years ago changed my entire life. My entire family was murdered by some sort of animal the police concluded. No one could explain though how I managed to get back to my hometown in my own bed. I wanted to confess to the police, but every time I tried the words wouldn’t come out.

The man or whatever he was I couldn’t explain him. He was the boogeyman who haunted my dreams, and the shadow that haunted my waking hours. He was someone I couldn’t rationalize, but mostly someone I had hoped to forget. He was someone I’d rather pretend didn’t exist. He scared me more than I tried to let myself believe.

The worst part of it all was that I am totally confused by him. The man I was so afraid of because he nearly ended my life. The same man saved my life or I’d be dead like the rest of my family. I didn’t understand his deal. Why one day nearly kill me and in the next claim he wants to save me? It was too hard for me to comprehend so I only guessed it was because he wanted to savor killing me himself. Furthermore, if he was so interested in saved my life how come he left my family to die. He should know that a part of me died with them.

I snapped out of my trance. I was still sitting in my bed with my eyes shut. My head hurt as tears escaped my closed eyelids. Two years later and I could still hear their screams in my head. Nothing could ever make that go away. Not even numerous amounts of drugs I’ve been prescribed to take after Aunt Debra forced me into therapy. Aunt Debra was never close to my mother, in fact, far from it. They only lived forty miles away from one another, but neither called or drove up to speak to each other. Aunt Debra was the only family I had so she became my legal guardian. Although, she was not really a guardian all she did was put me in therapy. For the past two years I have taken care of myself. Aunt Debra was the kind of woman who spent the majority of her day at work. I hardly ever saw her and when we did see each other all aunt Debra would say is “order dinner” or “don’t forget the dishes.” Aunt Debra meant well I guessed it must be hard going from single career woman to guardian of a sixteen year old she barely knew. I don’t blame her being absent, I appreciate it. I felt like I could breathe without worrying about my aunt being overbearing. This place and a new town became a fresh start.

I jumped out of bed at the thought. I was so going to be late for breakfast with my girlfriends. I removed my pink nightgown over my head letting it fall onto the hard wood floor. I had on a bra and boy shorts and went out the door of my room and across the hall to the bathroom. The bathroom was fairly simple and ordinary. The door opened up to the sink with a huge mirror stretching across the wall. The white counters beside the sink were covered in accessories; anything from gel to hair ties, to curling irons laid there. I rushed to use the toilet, cleverly hidden beside the sink so if someone opened the door I wouldn’t be visible. I then turned the middle knob in the shower while touching the shifting water with my hand. It took me a few more seconds to adjust the temperature before I completely undressed and stepped in.

The shower felt nice and refreshing despite the fact that I really couldn’t enjoy it as much as I’d like. As soon as I stepped in it felt like I stepped out. I felt like I was standing in a pile of snow in August. I quickly brushed my teeth and went for my towel. I grabbed my towel and went back into my bedroom. I finished drying off the rest of my body and put on lotion. I went through my dresser for underclothes then found a pair of dark blue jeans and a red tank top. After my clothes were on I heard my phone ringing. I went over and picked it up to see “Jamie calling,” I pushed the button to answer.

“Hello,” I said even though I knew it was her. It was the typical response and I knew exactly why she was calling.

“Amber, I was calling to make sure you were still coming to meet us,” Jamie asked on the other end.

“Yea, I’m leaving now,” I said balancing the phone between my ear and shoulder so I could put on deodorant. Next, I rummaged through my dresser again for a pair of socks.

“Okay, see you when you get here,” Jamie said.

“Yea, okay,” I replied and we both hung up.

After the dial tone was silent I grabbed my red purse and threw my phone inside. Keys, I thought, where are my keys. I stood for a moment scanning my room trying to find them. I grabbed my purse and bag I had my school books in and left my room for downstairs. If my keys weren’t up here they had to be there. I dropped my things near the front door as I went towards the living room across from the stairs for my keys.

The living room was a nice size containing a huge big screen television, a couch, loveseat, and coffee table. The floor had a cream carpet and a green multicolored rug under the table. I noticed my keys right away in the center of the table. I picked them up and went back to the door. I slipped my feet into my white tennis shoes and after some wiggling got them firmly planted while I picked up my purse and bag.

I left the house locking the door behind me. I grabbed my keys and hit the unlock button and opened the door to my brand new silver convertible, a gift from Aunt Debra for my birthday in a few days. As soon as I started the car I checked the radio clock which informed me that I was already ten minutes late for breakfast. I threw my bags into the passenger side, buckled up, and put the car in reverse so I could get on my way. Traffic was a bore luckily it wasn’t too busy at ten in the morning. It only took me about fifteen minutes to get from my place on Michigan Ave to the IHOP for breakfast and chatting. I pulled into the restaurant which I found surprisingly busy. Luckily I found a spot in front just as an elderly couple backed out. I parked, grabbed my purse, and tried to rush it into the restaurant.

As I pushed through the door there was a family ahead of me. I heard the clerk explain to them that it would be a half hour wait. I watched the family: a mom, dad, four-year-old girl, and infant son take a spot on a nearby bench.

“Hello, just one today,” the waitress asked in her middle aged tone. She still appeared chipper, but then again her work day had just begun.

“No.” I said possibly too abruptly since the waitress lost her smile. “I’m here to meet some friends.” I gave the waitress a smile, so she doesn’t think I was being rude.

“What are there…,” the waitress began to ask names, I’m sure, but I heard Tiffany yell my name from behind me.

I turned and saw four of my closest friends with smiling faces waving me over. I turned and gave the waitress a parting smile before going over to my girls. My friends had gotten a table, but it still felt cramped with my added spot. Jamie sat to my left. Jamie is gorgeous she has beautiful blondish brown hair with light brown eyes. Her figure is to die for as she’s very athletic like me, in fact we both ran track, played volleyball and were on the cheerleading team our senior year. To her left was Olivia or as we call her Liv. She only became a friend of ours a year ago because before then she was your typical Goth girl. There’s nothing wrong with Goth we just weren’t. Liv over one summer came to school as a whole new person. She still has dark black hair which she accents with dark liner around her eyes. It works because she has beautiful blue eyes that light up her pale frame. Across from Liv sat Tiffany or Tiff when I’m lazy. Tiff has a beautiful caramel complexion. Tiff has brown eyes and black hair that she currently has layered across her face heading toward her shoulder. Next to Tiffany and across from Jamie was April. April was Jamie’s younger sister by only a few months due to their father’s indiscretions. April shared Jamie’s basic facial structure although she had mostly blond hair and less of a tan than Jamie.

So, here we were me and the girls. This is what I considered normalcy ever since I had to learn to live without my family.

“I didn’t know what you wanted to drink so I grabbed you water,” Jamie said pointing to the clear glass on my right.

“That’s perfect, thank you.” I said undoing the straw nearby.

“So, I know you’re going to Marce and David’s party tonight on the east side.” Tiffany implies looking at me. I got the feeling I missed the early conversation.

“I don’t know,” I answer while sipping water through my straw.

“Oh no,” Liv said to me. “Were going there at ten tonight and we’ll be by to pick you up.” She said pointing her finger at me.

I smiled, but before I could respond a short red haired waitress walked up to the table.

“I see everyone’s here. Are you ready to order?”

I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. “Yes,” I said grabbing a menu lying in the middle of the table.

Tiffany decided to order potato soup with bread. Jamie had a breakfast platter consisting of eggs, sausages, and biscuits. Liv ordered hot cakes and links. April went for a vegetarian omelet and I just ordered a three cheese omelet. As soon as the waitress left our table Jamie went right back to our earlier conversation.

“Okay, you’re coming to the party.” Jamie said looking at me. I just smiled toward her. “OMG, did you hear about Marce?”

The table immediately got quiet as we waited for her to explain. “Explain,” April said impatiently as we all leaned in.

“She’s pregnant,” Jamie said nonchalantly.

“We already knew that,” Liv said and we all leaned back into our seats.

“Yes, but did you know Tom is not the daddy.” Jamie was now wearing a huge smile on her face.

“What?” I said in disbelief. The story of Marce and Tom can be summarized as the two of them being inseparable.

“Who is?” Tiffany asked sipping what looks to be Pepsi or Coke.

“David,” Olivia’s eyes popped open as Jamie said his name. Olivia and David were a couple after she quit being gothic. It only last a few months, but she still felt something for him.

We continued discussing about Marce’s situation for another ten minutes. Finally our petite waitress with the fiery red hair came out with our food. We sat hungrily and patiently as the young woman read off our orders and handed us the sizzling hot plates. After she was gone we didn’t waste any time digging into our food. I have to admit I was starving. I opened up my silverware from the napkin and started cutting into my omelet.

“Mm mm,” I said as I let my first bite savor in my mouth before chewing. I looked toward my friends and although they didn’t reply we all share a look of sweet satisfaction with our brunch.

“Oh, so have you given any thoughts to your birthday party,” Olivia asked while dipping her links in syrup and then taking a bite.

“Oh, you guys, I really don’t want a party,” I always felt awkward celebrating another year of my life while my family were unable to. I didn’t have a seventeenth birthday party and I wasn’t going to have one for my eighteenth year either.

“C’mon, Amber you should have an eighteenth birthday party.” Tiffany tried pleading with me. I shook my head while chewing on another piece of my omelet. “You could invite Sean,” She said his name in a whisper. She knew it would get to me and it did. Sean was every bit the jock, but he was also so sweet and kind and gentle with me. We met after I started attending Waverly High School. He was the first person to greet me and he didn’t hover over the lone survivor as they called me. Then when I was ready for a relationship he became cold, not in the sense that he was mean, he just stopped coming around and barely looked my way as we passed each other in the halls. Yes, I wanted to spend time with Sean, but not at my own party.

“Uh no,” I said finishing off my omelet. “Besides I’ve got way too many college classes to worry about.”

Tiffany began to protest, but Jamie intervened for my sake. “We’re going to the party tonight. We can do something else for Amber’s birthday.” She shot me a glance and I smiled a thank you.

I checked my watch as everyone was finishing their food. “Speaking of classes, I got to go I’m going to be late. Can you pay for me?” I said to Jamie while fumbling through my purse for my wallet. Jamie nods approval.

“Sure,” she says as were all looking around for the waitress.

I locate a twenty dollar bill in my pink leather bill fold and hand it to Jamie. “It shouldn’t be over that. Keep the change.” I said rising up from the chair.

The waitress finally came back to our table. “Would any of you like any desert?”

“No, just the check,” April responded to her.

“Okay,” the waitress said grabbing a couple of plates that were pushed to the edge of the table. Then she disappeared behind the double doors leading to the kitchen.

“Alright, bye girls,” I said waving to them before walking away.

As soon as I turned around I heard Jamie say, “See you tonight.”

“Yeah Yeah,” I said smiling as I exited the restaurant doors.

I was definitely going to be late for my first day of classes at Lansing Community College. As soon as I left the parking lot I quickly started speeding. I wasn’t doing a hundred miles an hour or even ten miles over the limit. I did however go in between five to ten miles over the norm of thirty-five. I swerved in and out of traffic which is something I normally don’t do. Today was different though so I even went through a few yellow lights, who hasn’t. It would seem that I was beating my time, but classes were at noon which was around the time streets got pretty crowded. I made my turn from Michigan Avenue onto Shiawassee and it looked like I was going to make it in time.

I made a right turn onto Grand Ave and that’s when the bomb dropped. It was now noon and class started at twelve-ten. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem, but as I made my turn I quickly saw as I took my place, a long line of vehicles waiting to get into the parking ramp. I dropped my head in utter disbelief. I blamed the school for poor parking places. Then I blamed myself for not being better prepared. Only because I remember mom would say “you can’t blame someone else for something that is your fault.” I missed her, dad, Max, and Ashley. I missed them all more than I could admit mostly because after awhile people expect you to get over it, so I put a smile on and pretended like it all happened a long time ago.

I did a double take in my rearview mirror as I felt my eyes water. I forced my feelings down as I finally made the turn from the street to the lane to get inside the ramp. It took another couple of minutes until I finally got the chance to get my starcard in the machine. It took me a couple of tries due to “parking lot full,” messages. The machine wasn’t completely lying about the parking lot status. The entire first floor was jam packed as was the second except for a couple spaces in the back. I decided to take my chances with the third floor even though at this time I was already five minutes late for class. Woo hoo, I thought as I found a middle space in the second row. I hurried up and grabbed my bag and purse and keys and ram slash jogged into the Gannon building that was connected to the parking lot.

I had quite a bit of a walk to get to the Arts and Sciences building. Lansing Community College wasn’t as big as university campuses, but I was running late so, across the yard felt like a mile or two. My first class happened to be writing 121. I thought I was late to arrive as the class looked packed, adding to my embarrassment so I found a seat in the back quickly. There wasn’t much to the class. The teacher went over the syllabus, basically a sheet of paper that states learning outcomes, books the class will use, grading scale, assignments, and class policies. I learned pretty quickly that this class of sixteen weeks would boil down to two analytical papers that I would have to write. Those two papers would be reviewed by my teacher’s peers and that would determine my pass or fail grade. My teacher seems cool she said we could turn in papers over and over again so they get edited to perfection.

The class got over at around two o’clock. My next scheduled class time wasn’t until four. I purposely left space in between so I could visit the math lab at two. I had math 107. The math lab was located on the third floor of arts and sciences. The room required starcard access for the door to unlock. I walked in and felt comfortable in the atmosphere. I liked the idea of working at you own pace. Teachers roamed the room and they were helpful when needed. I need their help a lot because math is not my subject. There was a really cute guy in here now. I tried not to ask for help much when I saw him staring in my direction. I pretended to be writing so I could sneak peeks at him. He caught me though with his olive eyes and smiled. I smiled back, his short curly brown hair sat perfectly in place. I had to make myself swallow to avoid drooling. I looked down at my math notebook with problems scribbled everywhere. Suddenly I didn’t care about work I wanted to know him. I debated with myself to get up the courage and sit near him. His table had an open spot. I went to grab my things when I saw a shadow cross over me. It was him, the gorgeous man from the other table, every fiber in my body screamed for me to follow him. Instead I just pouted and went back to work as I heard the door open and shut.

I was so glad when four o’clock came. I spent a while in the math lab, but I didn’t get much done. I couldn’t stop thinking about that guy. Plus math is well math which meant it’s not my language its gibberish. I went up to the fourth floor for Biology class. I was happy to at least get there early. I picked a nice seat up front that was closest to the door. I got the feeling Bio 121 was going to be a lot of hands on experiments since our desks had lab equipment. The teacher gave us a syllabus and then we all introduced ourselves and then he got right down to business. I got the feeling six o’clock was not going to be coming soon enough.

I felt like Britney Spears in the beginning of her music video for “Baby one more time.” She was sitting their impatiently waiting for the school bell to ring. Well, I was sitting here impatiently waiting on six o’clock. My teacher continued instructing us until 5:58. I grabbed my things and got in the elevator for the first floor. I was starving by now and contemplated several times about purchasing items from the vending machines. I was strong today and I did not. The elevator landed and I moved with the crowd exiting the arts and sciences building through the main door. I went a little ways up the hill so I could reach the Gannon building.

As soon as I entered I had to walk all way towards the end of the hall pass the workout center to get to the elevators. I walked inside and pressed three and waited for the elevator to rise. The parking lot was still full even now. I found my car, unlocked my door, and threw my belongings onto the passenger seat as I got behind the wheel. I started the engine and found a radio station to listen to and backed up. Just like it was when I pulled in the parking lot was packed, bumper to bumper. It took me about five to ten minutes to get completely down the ramp; for the starcard machine to charge me nearly five bucks for my six hours, and for me to get out on the road to my place.

It was six currently so it was yet another rush hour time in Lansing, Michigan. It felt like ages before I was able to get home. I threw my bags right near the bottom stair. I walked straight into the kitchen to find something to eat. I was about to open the fridge when I noticed a twenty dollar bill on the counter under a folded note. I opened it. “Order something to eat on me.” Nice, I thought except that I was too hungry to wait. I opened our light brown cupboards and grabbed a pinkish glass bowl. Then I grabbed a box of cereal from on top of the fridge and poured some into my bowl, filling it. I put the cereal back where I got it and opened the fridge. I almost panicked as I couldn’t find the milk, but then I did behind the orange juice. I poured some into my bowl and put it back in the fridge. Lastly I grabbed a spoon and went into the living room.

I turned the television on and began flipping through the channels only pausing for an occasional bite of my cereal. There was nothing of interest on at six thirty on a Tuesday for me. Then I remembered I had shows on my DVR I’ve yet to watch. I flipped through the menu channels to get to my shows. I was in luck there were several I had to see. I pressed play at the item that was first on the list. I continued munching on my cereal for the first five minutes of my show until there were no other contents in my bowl except for milk. I sat the bowl on the coffee table and kicked my legs onto the couch.

I continued to watch my television shows for a little while. They were pretty interesting, I don’t remember falling asleep, but next thing I know my cell was ringing. It took me awhile to find it as I forgot where I put my purse. I found where I left it when I came in the door. I reached it too late because it stopped ringing. I took off the security mode so I could see who called even though I had a good idea. I checked the missed call logs and saw Jamie’s name and I dialed her back. Before I had a chance to even speak she jumped down my throat.

“Oh no witch, we are coming to get you. Don’t you dare try to stay at home.” I heard Jamie screaming through my phone loud enough for me to pull it away from my ear.

“I am coming. I fell asleep woman, calm down.”

“Whatever, I know you,” she responded back to me.

“When are you coming by?” I asked trying to look for a clock to check the time.

“We’re leaving Tiff’s now. I’ll be over in about fifteen to twenty minutes.”

I found the clock about the stove in the kitchen. It was already a quarter past nine. “Alright, I’m getting dressed now.”

“Okay, I’ll call you when I pull up,” Jamie replied.

“Okay bye,” I said and we hung up.

I went back into the living room to shut off the television. Then I ran up the stairs to figure out something to wear. I really couldn’t decide. I just opened up my closet door and stood there. I suddenly did not want to attend this party. In the end I just traded up my blue jeans for a white ruffled shirt about mid thigh length. I went downstairs and switched up my tennis shoes for some red strap heels that only had a small heel. I pulled my hair out of a pony tail and ran my fingers through. I nearly went up stairs to plug in my flat irons, but as I stepped up the first stair, my phone rang. I peeked out through the door and saw Jamie’s vehicle in the driveway. I opened the door and gave her a wave which in turn silenced my cell. I picked it up off the table and grabbed my purse and keys, locked the front door, and climbed into the passenger side in the backseat of the vehicle.

“Hey,” I said extending the word to everyone.

“You look cute,” Olivia said smiling at me from the front passenger side.

“She’s hoping to see Sean,” Tiffany teased as she sat to the right of me. Jamie began driving back on the road.

“I am not,” I said although as I thought about it I actually would very much like to see Sean tonight.

“Uh huh,” Jamie said. I got the feeling she wanted to say something else except April cut in.

“Oh, turn that up,” she said except she did it herself. The car began blaring Kesha’s ‘Blow’, as we sped down Cedar St. We were all singing because we all knew the lyrics and were big fans. Kesha’s music was dance music which of course was one of our favorite things. The song definitely got everyone in the vehicle ready to party. All of us were dressed for the party too. I mean from the backseat I could see Jamie, her blond hair was straightened with curls on the end. She was wearing light red eye shadow with some light pink lip gloss. Tiffany was all jeweled up from sparkling necklaces to about six of ten fingers sporting rings, April always dressed down. She wore some makeup, but she also had on jeans. Olivia was dressed kind of like me; a shirt and skirt. Somehow we always managed to do that.

The radio started spewing commercial ads at us so we turned it down.

“Just so you know Jamie, I’m not riding back with you.”

“What?” Tiffany asked before Jamie could respond to Olivia.

We were all waiting for an answer. Not that this behavior was different for Olivia. Olivia bounced from guy to guy like they were going out of style.

“Nothing,” Olivia said coyly with a smile.

“Mmhmm,” I gave her a smile back. We all knew what she had planned.

“Oh whatever,” Olivia said giving me a tap on my knee. “When are you going to give it up?”

“When I meet someone I want to give it up to.” I said giving her a look back. I got a glimpse out the window and noticed we were off the main road. We must be getting close or at least I hoped.

“She means when Sean finally asks her out,” April added turning to look at us both.

“Ugh you need to move on.” Olivia told me although she was staring out the window as we all were. There was a row of cars parked along the side of the road. “Starting tonight we are going to find you a man,” Olivia said turning to face me.

“Speak for yourself, heifer.” Tiffany stated. “I am going to find me a man.” Tiffany said while fiddling with her hair and reapplying her lip gloss. Tiffany never had a boyfriend and thus always complained. Tiffany was beautiful her standards were just sky high. Tiffany only wanted a guy with a six pack, not a flat stomach in shape guy; he had to have a six pack. He also had to be athletic, smart, very ambitious, and currently working in a decent job. Tiffany’s idea of decent was not Wal-Mart. “I spoke to Allen, he should be coming.” Tiffany changed her tone she suddenly sounded like a giddy school girl.

“Allen will have to wait. I went around the block and this is the closest I could get us.” Jamie said parallel parking then turning to look at us. From what I could see we were at least six houses down from the actual party. Why did I wear heels?

We all exited the vehicle and began walking up the sidewalk. We noticed we weren’t the only ones as we passed many groups of people that already started the party. Some were dancing while others were passing along a bottle of alcohol. We were offered some and only Jamie, April, and I took a sip. It was strong and it burned my throat. I guess it serves me right for drinking off someone else.

“Now we’re ready to partay,” Jamie said while we laughed we only had one more house to pass.

“Jesse, you could pretend like you are enjoying yourself,” Max said patting him on the back. “There are plenty of beautiful girls here. Take her for example,” Jesse looked towards where he pointed. There was a brunette who reminded him of Amber at first. His heart slowed as he stopped breathing. The brunette turned around as her friend informed her she was being watched. Jesse let out a breath of air when he realized the brunette was not her.

“Why did we come here anyway?” Jesse asked Max who was eyeing a blond.

“To blend in,” Max said with his eye on the cute girl in stiletto’s.

“We will never blend in because we will never be one of them.” Jesse said looking at the brunette who was now making her way towards him.

“Speak for yourself,” Max said to Jesse. “I’m going to blend,” he smiled and walked toward the blond.

“Yea,” Jesse said getting in between him and the girl. “While you’re blending keep in mind,” Jesse said turning to look at the blond. “That girl would run home screaming to daddy if she knew who you really were.”

“Relax bro, no one will ever know,” Max said in a cautious laughing tone. The music around them seemed to get louder. The space got smaller as various individuals danced all around them as alcohol was being poured to party goers all around. A few individuals were already beginning to make out.

“I just want to not have to hide from someone.”

“Oh no”, Max said going around Jesse. “We are not talking about her.” Max disappeared through the crowd quickly. It took Jesse a moment to locate him next to the blond, dancing. Jesse look at him long enough to see him whisper, ‘hot girl, behind you.’

“Hi,” a voice said from behind him. It was almost like being yelled at, but he assumed it was because of the voices inside.

Jesse turned to see the brunette he noticed earlier smiling at him. “Hi,” he said back to her.

“Nice party, huh,” the girl said looking around.

Jesse followed her grey eyes as they searched. He saw nothing of interest. It was all people getting drunk and drinking on one another. He looked back towards the girl.

“I’m Amy,” she said smiling while fiddling with her hair with her left hand.

Jesse only smiled.

The girl smiled even more, possibly blushing. Jesse wanted her to go away he wasn’t really interested.

“Do you have a name?”

“Don’t we all,” he answered.

“So you do speak. I was beginning to wonder if you spoke a foreign

Language and the only word you knew was ‘hi’.”

“Until now, you had yet to say anything I needed to answer.”

The girl smiled. “What’s your name?”She said closing the gap in between them.

“Jesse,” he said softly giving in.

“Isn’t that a girl's name?” Amy asked him.

“Thanks for that I really felt like being insulted.” Jesse replied and turned to walk away.

“No wait,” Amy yelled from behind him. “I’m just a little drunk.”

Jesse didn’t care about her or the comment. Although those girls' names comment he was tired of hearing. When he turned around he heard a voice. He was busy looking toward the ground.

“Well don’t drink the whole bottle,” the voice said laughing. A familiar giggle he’d heard many times before.

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