My Goodbye

A girl's suicide note (free-verse poem), directed to her ex.

I don't know what you want from me
and it's tearing me apart inside.
I would do anything to make you happy.
You know that.
Your words say one thing, your voice another.
How am I to believe you care, when the animosity
shows in everything you say?
Each word you speak is more bitter than the last,
and each sentance spoken so angrily
pushes me closer to the edge.
I wasn't good enough and now I am paying.
by losing the person who meant so much.
I am alone without you, trapped in my own sadness.
I run and run trying to escape the darkness but
the light gets smaller and more distant with each step.
I scream out your name until my throat is raw
but you never come to my side.
My knight walked away.
Was forever a word you used so lightly?
Or was it simply a lie to get what you wanted?
Either way, your betrayal has not gone unnoticed.
I'll carve my apologies into my arm so when
they find me they know who drove me so far
over the edge. With your name written in
my blood, you'll know the pain that I now know.
You'll hurt the way I hurt.
I love you more than life itself.
And life is not worth living without the person
who turned hell to heaven.
Without you, life is desolate.
Without you, I don't want to live.
This is a goodbye.
Fight for me or lose me forever.
This is my goodbye.

Author's Note

A poem written a day after my boyfriend broke up with me. It's angst-ridden for the sole reason that writing helps me cope. I hope you enjoyed. Critique appreciated.