NTPWE Chapter 5: In which Jacob goes to Prison

In the future there will be robots, and a hologram called JACOB who doesn't realise he is a hologram until he is falsely imprisoned. As Jacob comes to terms with his new state of being, he makes friends with ALONA, a sexbot who has broken her programming

The dark shape of the prison building loomed in front of him much like a malicious child might appear to a lone and vulnerable ant. It stood at least a hundred feet tall with rain lashing it from all angles. Jacob cowered in the back seat of the cruiser.

 

The vehicle approached a striped barrier and slowed. As it hummed to a halt, the guard, a small bin-shaped droid, smoking a cigar, wearing a kilt and a stick on beard, floated up to the vehicle.

 

“Och. Badge number and name please, sonny,” it said, in a vaguely Scottish accent.

 

It had been a while since Jacob had seen a Scottish robot. They had been victims of inter-mechanical racism, which emerged after the robots were given national identities in the hope of endearing them to their human countrymen and thus countering the growing animosity between man and machine. In that respect, the plan had worked, but like man, the machines had some racial issues to work out that mostly consisted of arguing over pieces of land they each claimed to own or have been built in, despite all being made in the great factories of Asia and having the stamps to prove it.

 

Jacob looked for the stamp, while the officer made his reply.

 

“Come on Angus, you know me by now. JI16907T104. It’s me, Brian!”

 

“Och aye,” it screeched, and pressed a button on its spindly arm.

 

The barrier sank into the ground.

 

Officer Brian stepped the cruiser into motion and the robot went about its business.

 

“They’re gonna lock you up for a long time, buddy,” Brian said.

 

The whole journey had been like this, ever since Jacob had entered the car screaming: “You’ve got the wrong man!” and beat against the steel mesh forming a partition in the police cruiser.

 

“That’s exactly what the guilty party would say,” Brian replied. “Keep it up.”

 

He obviously enjoyed his work. Jacob hated that.

 

He tried to ignore his taunter, but it only served to make matters worse. Brian continued to spit out his whole repertoire of police dialogue - the extended disco version with four choruses of “You’re going down!”

 

Jacob felt relieved when he was finally asked to vacate the vehicle and follow the bright yellow arrowed track into the building, but this feeling was instantly replaced by a new dread. The touching arrows forged a path from the road two metres across the pavement to the front entrance of the prison. Had he less imposing matters on his mind, Jacob may have shaken his head in dismay at the waste of yellow paint, but instead he stared up at the green-grey doors that lead to his new, doomed life.

 

A voice boomed out of an unseen speaker, so suddenly that Jacob jumped back into the car behind him.

 

“DO NOT TRY AND RUN. WALK CALMLY ALONG THE YELLOW TRACK TO THE DOORS. OPEN THE DOORS, STEP INSIDE AND DO NOT FORGET TO WIPE YOUR FEET! I REPEAT: DO NOT FORGET TO WIPE YOUR FEET! That is all.”

 

“C’mon,” Brian said and pushed Jacob on.

 

As Jacob reluctantly hobbled close to them, the automatic doors hissed open and he stepped inside, completely forgetting to wipe his feet. Jacob was greeted by the intense fluorescent buzz of government lighting, made all the worse by the intense white of the corridors. If it were not for the bars on the windows, he would have sworn it was a hospital. It had the smell too.

 

As Jacob took in his surroundings, especially noting the wall-mounted cameras with automated taser guns, a small robot glided up to him. It emitted a deep honk, much like a goose having a psychotic episode, then said in a small but demanding voice:

 

“Leave all your possessions here.”

 

Startled, and making a habit of it, Jacob did as he was asked and placed his cushions on the desk beside him.

 

The robot focussed its attention on the items as if confused by their presence, and then looked at him at a tilt.

 

“Humans!” it seemed to say, but in fact, it said: “Honk!”

 

When the robot did nothing, but remain floating beside him, Jacob took this as a goodbye and started to shuffle farther down the corridor, feeling terribly exposed. He glanced back to see what the robot would honk at next.

 

After leaving the robot and the desk, he found himself approached by another droid that flew out of the wall. It was smaller than the last and bore no resemblance to any feathered beast, but it did cheerfully escort him into the company of two other robots. It then flew off with the satisfaction of a job well done.

 

Jacob soon grew to miss this robot. It was the friendliest thing he would encounter for some time. His two new companions were vaguely humanoid. That is to say, they had legs and were decorated to look like human officers with painted blue jackets and a shiny badge, but they were huge and more like robot Jabba the Hutts.

 

“This human appears to be missing his outer casing.”

 

They looked down at him with amusement and then ran a small device over his body. Jacob recognised the device as the Specifier Mark 5. Its main functions were to make ‘widdly-wee’ noises and present analytical information about whatever they went ‘widdly-wee’ at. The vastly superior Mark 3 had been silent, but was a huge flop. Apparently, people preferred a device that at least sounded like it was doing something, making performance irrelevant. That said, after releasing Mark 4, which only went ‘widdly-wee’ when you pressed a button and nothing else, they released the Mark 5, which combined the best qualities of both and in Jacob’s experience, never lied.

 

“Ooh! We got a live one here!” said the scanning mass of droid.

 

Its companion glanced at the device. “A real live hologram! You don’t get many of them for the pound.”

 

“Ooh, very rare.”

 

“W… What? Hologram? You’re saying I’m a hologram? Why are you doing this? Here, let me look.”

 

Jacob tried to grab the device, but the guards raised it out of reach. Memories of the game from school, Piggy in the middle, came racing back to Jacob’s mind.

 

“Come on guys, you’re pulling my leg... You must be!” Jacob said.

 

“Uh, uh! If we were pulling legs you’d be in a mag-lev chair by now.”

 

“Our machines don’t lie.”

 

“Now go away.”

 

Jacob continued trying to grasp the Specifier, but the robots pushed him through the doors behind them.

 

He crashed to the floor in a daze, his eyes unfocussed.

 

A hologram? He couldn’t possibly be! He had been born, from a mother. Well, he couldn’t remember it, but he assumed his mother wouldn’t have made up such a tale, as she seemed to enjoy complaining about it very much. She wouldn’t torture herself like that when she was the only person she actually liked. So... This was crazy! Yet he knew robots couldn’t lie, especially police robots, no matter how rude they were. What did this mean?

 

He listened to the mocking laughter of the two robots on the other side of the door.

 

“Hey Gus, the guy didn’t even know he was a hologram. Heh, heh!”

 

“Ooh! The bots at the station are gonna love this one.”

 

Jacob rose and then promptly fell down again. He gave it another try and this time managed to wander aimlessly down the corridor, a million thoughts running through his head. If it was even his head, or his thoughts for that matter.

 

He waded through the world, headed for he didn’t know where.

 

The small, cheerful droid buzzed up to him.

 

“Can’t stay here, human. Prisoners go to cells.”

 

The droid helped him along with surprising strength for a metallic football, but then Jacob wasn’t sure how strong metallic footballs were supposed to be. In point of fact, he wasn’t sure about anything anymore. Then he reached his cell and suddenly he felt sure that his bed was made of the hardest substance on Earth. It was made of concrete, and so obviously he was forgetting about the sponge cake his Gran had cooked for his 6th birthday. Nevertheless, he cried as the droid closed the blank white door behind him.

Author's Note

Sorry for the delay. its been hard finding the time and the interet connection while I have been travelling. We're getting into the good stuff now (i.e. that which won't be completely re-edited) so enjoy.)

Reviews

[Heartless Breaker]

XD
You never fail to make me laugh.
Poor Jacob, he's losing his mind.