NTPWE Chapter 4: In which a policeman hates his job

In the future there will be robots, and a hologram called JACOB who doesn't realise he is a hologram until he is falsely imprisoned. As Jacob comes to terms with his new state of being, he makes friends with ALONA, a sexbot who has broken her programming

Sam Maggot, police sergeant, took a large bite out of his doughnut and put the book of clichés back onto the desk. The pressure from his jaw squirted cream over his shirt. He was scooping up the mess when the phone rang. Startled, he fell backward off his chair and dropped his sugary treat into the path of the cleaning bot.

 

“Damn! Someone’s going to pay.”

 

He picked up the phone and spat a greeting - and several crumbs - into it, only to be reprimanded by his commanding officer.

 

“Maggot! Put down your doughnuts and get your arse down to 44c Newbury Lane, now! We’ve got an extortionist needs bringing in.”

 

“Okay, okay, but please stop shouting.”

 

“I can’t or I’ll lose my job!” the voice said. “Now get your butt down there!”

 

“Yes sir!” Maggot saluted, then stopped to wonder why he had.

 

Two minutes later, twenty men, all in full body protective gear, clambered into an APC and two police cruisers. Their fully automatic weapons and large stock of stun grenades took up most of the room.

 

The vehicles shuddered into life and roared out of the station.

 

The journey was fraught with disaster; they passed three coffeehouses and a bakery without stopping once. Maggot’s men grew tense.

 

“Calm down boys. Get this job done and we can feast all night,” he assured them.

 

The vehicles skidded to a stop outside 44d Newbury Lane.

 

“Is this the one, Sarge?” asked the driver.

 

Sam saw the sign and said “No, you idiot. It’s 44c we’re after.”

 

The driver pointed back down the round. “But there was no 44c, Sarge. Only 44b, an unmarked building and then D just here.”

 

Sam Maggot stomped to the back of the van, opened the doors and looked down the street.

 

“My God, men. We’re dealing with a master of disguise.”

 

He thought about this for a moment. C did come before D and after B, so maybe, just maybe, the unmarked house was 44c and the sign was missing. He had to come back with someone or else he would be fired, so he decided to take the risk. Better the wrong man than no man at all.

 

He ordered the men out of the van and they positioned themselves behind their cars, guns trained on the building’s entrance.

 

“Wow! Just like in the movies!” the most junior officer said. He still suffered from acne. “Who are we after? A ruthless serial killer? A multiple rapist? Terrorists?”

 

“Just one man. For extortion,” Maggot said, through gritted teeth.

 

The cool breeze blew his latest flatulence down the street. No one would catch him for that one.

 

“All this for a bank teller?” another officer exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief.

 

Sam Maggot, police sergeant, serial doughnut eater and self-proclaimed idiot reached for his loud hailer.

 

He watched the house for a few seconds.

 

A light shone from the front room. He could just see inside. A long, green sofa sat by the window... and he could see movement. It looked like... like someone’s bottom moving up and down rapidly!

 

He blushed.

 

“Oh dear,” he whispered. “He’s definitely in there, men.”

 

A few of the officers laughed and sang when they caught on, but Sam Maggot had the problem of deciding what to do. Luckily one of his officers helped him.

 

“Come on Sarge! Let’s storm the place!” the junior officer said.

 

“Now may not be the best of times.” A bead of sweat ran down Maggot’s face, and he pulled at his collar expecting a cloud of steam to escape.

 

“But we’re policemen! We’re here to arrest him! Let’s go!” Junior jumped up, beckoning his chums.

 

They all looked to Maggot who shrugged. From somewhere he managed to find some courage, put the loud hailer to his mouth and say: “This is the police! Jacob Kelly, come out with your hands behind your head! You have one minute.”

 

A startled and red face appeared from behind the sofa and like some schoolboy being summoned to the headmaster’s office, mouthed the word ‘me?’

 

“Yes you. Get out here!”

 

The door slowly opened and Jacob gingerly stepped outside holding a cushion in front and behind him.

 

“Davis, ‘cuff that man,” Maggot said.

 

With a ‘yes sir!’ an officer stalked forward and asked the naked man to hold out his hands. He did so and the cushions dropped away.

 

“And for some god’s sake, get the man some clothes.”

Author's Note

I like this chapter, but it's a bit childish. Any comments welcome.

Reviews

[Heartless Breaker]

AH! XD
Poor Maggot, he lost his doughnut and had to see Jacob's family jewels all in one day.