NTPWE Chapter 2: In which Jacob saves the day.

In the future there will be robots, and a hologram called JACOB who doesn't realise he is a hologram until he is falsely imprisoned. As Jacob comes to terms with his new state of being, he makes friends with ALONA, a sexbot who has broken her programming

 

The front door of Jacob’s classic model 3a suburban house (with optional beige shutters) opened as he approached, having recognised him before his car door shut. The front door prided itself on doing this as it believed it made it better than the car door. The car door disagreed, but had no way of communicating its argument so it became a muted confrontation of physical gestures which they each hoped conveyed their spite for the other.

 

The argument that Jacob expected to occur in the next few seconds would be the exact opposite. He looked forward to it about as much as he enjoyed visits from the hemorrhoid fairy.* He knew his wife would be angry but he could not see a way around this problem.

 

Full of morbid calm, he placed his briefcase on the ornate table in the hall and went through to the dining room where he knew his wife would be with a lovingly prepared, but now cold, meal.

 

Time to face the music.

 

She stood in the open doorway of the dining room, arms folded and a heavy frown on her face.

 

“You could at least let me know when you are going to be late. It’s not as if I don’t have a life of my own,” had apparently replaced “hello,” as a greeting.

 

“I’m sorry Linda, really, but work got on top of me and I had no choice. Either that or – “

 

“OR your boss will have your guts for garters,” she said with the kind of disgust which comes from hearing the same statement more than a thousand times. “Why don’t you stand up to him? Where’s your backbone?”

 

There she went again; putting him down, trying to make him feel small. Problem was, it worked every time.

 

She stormed into the dining room, allowing him to follow and see the wasted meal, thanks to him.
The room, decorated in a style almost two hundred years old, was full with real wood furniture that probably would have combusted if it experienced the heat Jacob felt around his collar now.

 

She stopped by the far chair and spun round to face him again.

 

Her voice softened. “Can’t you see I’m trying to help you? You can’t be stuck on the bottom rung of the ladder for your whole life. I’ve had enough, Jacob. Maybe if I’m not doing any good I should leave.”
Jacob settled beside his chair, but couldn’t take his eyes off of her, as if waiting for confirmation that she had actually said what he thought she had said. His heart yammered in his chest like a wet balloon on a suction pump.

 

How could she leave? He would be nothing if it wasn’t for her. She believed in him, taught him everything he knew. He would be so lost...

 

For what seemed like a long while nothing happened save the billowing of the lush, red curtains in the complaining wind. Linda stood silent, shocking Jacob into silence, shocking the ornaments into silence, not that they talked much, except to remind Linda that they needed dusting, but their continued silence made a noticeable contribution to the sense of drama that Jacob experienced at that moment.

 

“I’m just fed up of it, Jacob. I really am.” She turned away from him.

 

Jacob did his impression of a dying fish strapped to a humming bird.

 

She turned slowly to look at him, and with a raise of the eyebrow, said: “Well?”

 

Cruel hatred glistened in her icy blue eyes. Her thin, red lips smacked together with impatience.

 

Jacob stopped flapping.

 

Why did he put up with this, he thought, already knowing the answer; because he loved her, the only woman who had ever wanted him to do well.

 

“I’ll make it up to you,” he spluttered.

 

Stepping forward, he held her hand and stared like a puppy who had got tangled in his own lead.

 

“Tomorrow. I’ll take the day off work. We’ll spend it together and I won’t leave your side. I’ll buy dinner and we’ll go out at night. What do you say?”

 

He felt ready to drop to his knees if that’s what it would take.

 

She hovered before him.

 

Her steely grimace softened and stretched into a smile.

 

With a sigh that could have saved Krakatoa from erupting, Jacob caught her as she melted into his arms. He had done it once more! He had said the right thing to make her stay.

 

“Though, tonight doesn’t have to be a complete waste,” she whispered in his ear, then gestured towards the bedroom.

 

 “Ooh! Had a little something in mind did we?”

 

Jacob carried Linda into the bedroom, but he left his worries behind.

 

The sex felt loving, as always, but Jacob, looking up at the bouncing breasts in front of him, thought something seemed special about this roll in the hay. Perhaps the satisfaction of knowing that he had saved his marriage propelled him to new heights, or could it be the joy of knowing he could love his wife forever? For whatever reason, Jacob cherished the exquisite moment. And the next.

 

And the next.

 

In fact, he cherished an astounding three and a half-hours of them, until their bodies collapsed exhausted and spent upon the sweat-covered sheets. Normally, when they had sex for the first time after a dry spell it ended quickly, but this concern couldn’t keep Jacob awake.
 

 

* * *

 

He awoke to the moonlight on his face. Watching the blurry image of his furnishings dance before him like goblins at a luau, he listened to the chirp of the Atmospheric Enhancement Cricket Simulators outside. ^

 

A smile grew on his face as he looked down at his sleeping wife, her head resting on his bare chest.
He stroked hair from her face; the sweat of their exploits had stuck it there in slovenly curls. He watched his hand as it followed the supple curves of her body. Her slender neck. Her taut shoulders. Her delicious breasts. Her… H… Hi… His hand! It faded! As he drew his arm across her body it completely vanished!

 

Eyes wide with shock, he brought his flickering hand up to his face.

 

“What the f…!” He restrained himself from yelling.

 

He tried to touch his hand against his face as he leapt up in bed.

 

"I can’t feel it! Am I going mad?!"

 

It blinked and flickered out of existence to pass right through him.

 

By now, Linda awoke. Having her head jerked off his chest had stirred her. She blinked with drowsiness, looking up.

 

“Jacob?”

 

“Linda! What’s going on? Help me!”

 

“What? What’s... Jacob?” She almost screamed at him.

 

A loud thump resounded from the hallway. Seconds later, five dark figures burst into the room. Linda screamed, covering herself with a silk sheet as they spread around the room. One held Linda down, while another injected her with the contents of a syringe, knocking her out.

 

The other men approached Jacob, as he dropped onto his rear and tried to scooch through the far wall.

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he managed.

 

One of the invaders, a balding man of small build, held up a hand-sized device. Jacob looked at it, confused and frustrated that strange men could just burst into his home and wave funny devices in his face when he was facing a rather distressing existential crisis.

 

A bright flash put an end to Jacob’s worrying and before he could realise he had been knocked unconscious, he was knocked unconscious.

 

 

 

* Who had, in a recent e-paper report, been confirmed to exist as a small, malicious alien from Uranus who, apparently, appreciates irony as much as any British man.

 

^ A.E.C.S. for short. The real crickets had become extinct in the Great Bug War of 2032 when all the other 6 legged beings of earth finally got fed up with the wasps doing f**k all while they slaved away in the cycle of life and decided to wipe them out. It was one war everyone had agreed with.

Author's Note

This is possible my worst chapter in the book at the moment and will probably be deleted, vital information worked in elsewhere, but feel free to make whatever comments you feel like making. I'm including it for completion only. I intend to post the whole novel on here for feedback.

Reviews

[Heartless Breaker]

The comedic quality never ceases to make me laugh. XD