Failed Promise

Your tear dropped..

That smile withered..

To see you that way ..

My promise severed

You sit all cuddled up now..

Shriveled up.. your hope

I wish I had it my way..

To a brighter time ..we'd elope

I see I've failed you ..

A let down too grave

I would be there when needed..I'd sworn

I'm sorry I didn't live up to that..

I'm sorry I had to see you get torn

Too wound up in a supposed chimera

Too scared to stand up.. a whimpered call for salvation

I had no right to be so.. To snatch away your embrace

It wasn't right a moment.. when the tides got you..

and i stepped away with the coldest grace

You deserved better..

The aegis that was promised..

The guard against all darkness..

Instead you got nonchalance..

A bitter turn away ..just another helpless glance

Too late to ask for a do-over..

Too damaged to look for rescue..

But I'm here now..and I've sworn myself to you

What's lost..I'll atone for.. I'll get back that sparkle in your dew

You're safe in my arms now..

There's nothing to go wrong..

I've failed you once.. not again, it won't happen

I'm sworn to you.. this promise won't fail

I'll wipe it all away.. even grim's slightest trail

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

Well I'm glad to see you still use the big words I commented on. Your punctuation strikes me as odd (I don't remember if I've mentioned this before); the double periods at the end (or in the middle) of some lines look strange, because they aren't quite a statement - not that poetry ever needs one - and they don't quite lead on either. It's a mixed message and I'm not sure I follow.

Other than that, it's powerfully emotional, even if your language does run away from you a bit. You're treading a fine line between focusing on what you're saying and how you're saying it. Just don't lean too far to one side, that's all.

[Vin]

Really good, took me on the journey from losing it because you weren't there to getting it back and the promise of not making the same mistake. Emotions throughout were very clear and easy to understand. You have talent, well done :)

-Beth