Untitled Short Story

A Story by Phi Coulthard

Piece of Course for the Sept - December 2009 Semester in last year at university

Robert Chamberlain hadn’t changed much in the last eight years. He had the same awkward looks, with the same awkward stance that saw his crotch arrive two minutes before his body. Honestly, I was disgusted that he had come to me after so long .
‘Hey dude” he greeted me as he walked through the door.
What a prick, walking in through MY door like nothing had happened all those years ago.
I smiled at him politely and stuck my hand in the air to greet him with a sort of wave. Surveying the room with those beads in his eye sockets, he picked out the perfect seating position.
‘What do I owe this pleasure?’
As he parked his fat arse on the leather couch, an act that would pierce the leather that encased the wooden frame, he slammed his size twelve sneakers onto the coffee table.
‘You mind? That’s really expensive,’
He stared at me, the beads piercing my soul. I felt lightening shoot up and down my back.
‘This is what I like about you Dale,’
He searched his jeans pocket for a few seconds and brought out a bag of peanuts. The smell made me want to heave.
‘This is what I like, you were always the straight up one. Even though you were a nerd,’
Cheers for that you fat b*****d. Now get out of my house before I pick you up and throw you out.
He rummaged around the packet of nuts trying to find some kind of goodness at the bottom. Almost like a stoner trying to scrounge the last few dregs of weed from the plastic baggy.
‘You want a cuppa? Or some juice,’ I asked
He just nodded in reply. He had always been like this, probably the reason why he had never found himself a girlfriend.
‘So, which one?’
‘Tea Please,’
As I left the living room to go in to the kitchen the CD player was turned on and began to sing something soulful.
‘You got something less gay. Something like trance or rave,’
Yes I have but you ain’t going to hear it because I don’t want you in my damn house. And while I’m thinking about it, why the hell are you still here?
I walked towards the arch way that separated the kitchen from the living room and stared at the cumbersome gorilla that had made my couch it’s home
‘No, not really into dance,’
I don’t think the response went in to be honest as he picked up a lad’s mag and flicked through the pages that were adorned with page models.
Just leave my home right now and I won’t try and kill you later is that a deal?
I walked back into the kitchen where the kettle was hissing and bubbling. The old plastic thing didn’t have much time left on the ticker but it was an old gift from an old bag back home in Yorkshire.
‘So why have you come Rob?’ I shouted out form the kitchen
The tea was now ready, and I was considering throwing in his face. Burn off his pockmarked skin. It was the least I could do after the years of abuse he gave me during our time in school.. I walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room holding both cups of tea. One for me and one for him.
‘So, for the third time mate?’
He gave me a blank stare. The beads got larger and were now the size of proper eyes. I knew what the stare was about. He had know idea what I was talking about.
‘Why have you come here to see me?’
Dumb s**t couldn’t follow a line ‘cross a piece of paper
The stare got less vacant as an idea formed in his mind. He now remembered what he had come here for.
‘Yeah mate, I, er, got something I need to ask you,’
He paused for a second as he tried to gather the words from the air, then took the cup out of my hands. Quickly he sipped the hot beverage and placed the cup straight onto the table, leaving a wet ring on the wood. As the cup heated the table I slowly went crazy until I picked it up and put it onto the coaster provided.
‘Again, it’s expensive,’
He looked at me like I was some sort of creature that he had never seen before. Something hideous that he just wanted to stamp on in his cumbersome black steel toe capped boots. I looked at his attire, realising why he couldn’t grasp the fact that someone would spend good money on furniture, or clothes for that matter. His Mother had always ordered his clothes from one of those companies you find on the back of the TV magazine. It seemed he still let his mum decide what clothes he could wear as he was dressed in the same outfit he always wore outside of school. Head to toe black, combat trousers, t shirt and steelies. I continued to stare at the fashion disaster sitting in front of me.
‘Nice Tee mate,’
‘Cheers! My mum got it for me from a Christmas catalogue,’
My eyes fixated on the garish dragon that entwined a Celtic cross. It made me want to heave with disgust.
Honestly, why would anybody think that was something nice to wear? Is he blind?
I took a deep breath then took another sip of tea. He stared into my eyes penetrating my soul like he knew my inner thoughts about him.
‘So why, oh why are you here Robert?’
He took a deep breath and sighed, took a sip of tea and sighed again. This time he knew that he could not dodge the question I had demanded the answer to.
“Well, basically, I’m gay and I’ve been looking on Facebook. And well, I was thinking that you’re pretty damn hot. And, I remembered that you were gay, from school, you know, so I thought I would get back in touch.”
As his words slipped out of his mouth with such confidence, I bit my lip. This must have been the funniest thing I had heard in a long time. The guy who was calling homo and gay for five agonising years turned out to be gay himself. Result! karma did it’s job.
‘Say what?’
‘I’m gay and I was wondering if…’
‘Yeah I heard, I’m just shocked,’
When I looked into his eyes, he realised that he had had the wrong impression about me from the start. I stared at him while I heard his heart shatter into a million pieces. Seeing his soul float upwards out of his watery eyes gave me a dirty little thrill. He had tortured me for years, making my life a misery. Without feeling even a pang of guilt, I let a smile play around my lips. The pain he had made me suffer throughout my teenage years had fallen upon him, tenfold.
“I’m flattered Rob, but I have to tell you, I’m not gay, never have been. I’m actually engaged. Her names Evie.”
His watery eyes dripped down onto his cheeks.
Surely this had to be Karma. Someone getting exactly what they deserve.
‘You’ll find somebody,’
My reassurances didn’t help him one bit. Frankly I couldn’t really care as he was deserving of this.
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, there’s somebody out there for everyone,’
There was a silence that seemed to go on for an eternity. I shifted in my chair, trying to reach for the cup of tea without him thinking it was an invitation for him to speak. Knowing that I had to be rid of him, I did a fake watch check.
‘Is that the time? Jesus, I have to get to work! It’s been… fun,’
He took his feet off the coffee table and lowered his head.
‘Really?’
I nodded, in the hope that it would get rid of him
‘Ok, I hope to hear from you soon,’ he said
‘Same here,’
He walked towards the door. The one I wished that he hadn’t walked through originally.
‘You haven’t got an extra minute have you?’
‘No, not really, sorry’
Get out, get out, get out
He opened the door, stepped in to the corridor and closed the door behind him.
Goodbye please don’t come back
As I heard his footsteps along the corridor, the obvious sound of sobbing hit me. After everything he had put me through, how could I feel sorry for him? My heart sunk as I realised. He had put his trust in me, and I had mocked him.
A couple of seconds later there was a knock at the door.
‘Hey baby you gonna let me in?’
I opened the door to see a blonde stood at on the other side of the frame.
‘Who was that guy I just saw sobbing at the bottom of the corridor?’
‘I dunno,’

The door closed behind her