New Discovery

I had a interesting discovery just the other day that I thought I would share. Let's discuss this new phenomenom called Cougars or Pumas or whatever other terminology is lingering about. I am not sure what is what or if there is even a difference. However, it was still a eye opening experience to say the least for me. There are rules to this and there are lessons to be learned. Apparently, when you hit around 40, you must be more aware of who you are, how you dress and who you may date or speak to. Sure you and I have heard the term, maybe even seen the show so the terminology "Cougar" is not foreign to us, however, the thought that it could be turned around and used on me ...was. As usual, I go through life oblivious to these new ideas of things. I have never been the person to go "looking" for someone to date or become friends with. I just kind of float through life enjoying my time with friends and family and if the moment arrives that there is someone I like to talk to or spend time with then I do. Not much forethought or planning goes into this with me and for those of you who know me, well you can vouch for me. I have never found myself in a position where age was a concern or thought, it just always seemed to work out automatically to be age appropriate...lol So this made me turn my head to the side and think..hmmmm wow a whole new landmine to navigate, how horrible for someone who doesn't like the dating scene anyway. So this discovery opens up a whole new complication to dating that I don't believe I care to much for. The clothes you wear, how you carry yourself, your hair and nails being done all insinuate that you are "hunting". Interesting...I just thought I had gotten dressed and used proper hygiene. Dating is complicated already, I believe everyone would agree. You reach a certain time in your life where appearances don't let you know into which age group you have wandered. The signs, the clues, the lines are all blurred, so how do you know? That is the question or why does it matter is more the important one. So this brings up some obvious questions on my part....being as inquisitive as I am. Is the term automatically assigned or do you have to work for it? Is there a list of qualifications that have to be completed first? Does it have to be cougar or puma..I would prefer panther if given a choice. Are you required to specifically hunt for a certain age group or does stumbling upon a qualifying victim count as well? Most importantly do I recieve a medal or a badge when the goals are completed? Is there a way to become a card carrying club member? Is there a special handsign so that we may recogonize each other and our hunting territories? Now the other side to this is guys have been doing this for years without much thought or concern being given and certainly no show was given to them. So what would it be called? Do we name them some animal name like Lions, Apes or the oldie but goodie...Dogs ;-) I, personally think that the time is here where women just have more resources available to take care of themselves that ever before and there are some that utilize it. Working out, eating right, living healthy are very popular right now and the effects are reflected in our women, our mothers, grandmothers etc. The appearances aren't reflective of the ages as much anymore. I figure life is complicated enough than to start putting just one more thing for me to have in my head as I get ready everyday...nails done check...low cut blouse on...check...hair styled...check...makeup applied...check...tight skirt or pants....check. I like my list better, the 3 S's...worked great for me for years. I believe you know what they are ;-) I don't normally have all the answers, I am usually better with the questions. So here are a few insights and questions for you to ponder on this curious subject...I will have my nose buried researching wikipedia while I await your responses..

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I hope you don't mind that I'm just an interested observer who isn't qualified to say much. You and barleygirl have the credentials, I believe. I know a name can hurt or exalt, depending on the person, but I think we sometimes attach too much importance to what people call things. Being 68, I can tell you for sure that a nice looking 40-60 year-old gal gets my motor running as surely as a 16 year-old one did back in '64.

[Joy Carver]

I agree. i never found a name, age etc to be of importance,which is why I suppose I was so shocked for it to be suggested. I tend to like a person for who they are not what age group they happen to land in.

[barleygirl]

This feels conversational & playful, as you ponder all the "ins" and "outs" of dating at a later age in life. In the beginning, I get the impression that the term "cougar" is being interpreted as almost like "name-calling" in a negative way. But in my experience, I have always felt "cougar" was a term of endearment & even admiration -- a big fat "congrats" to older women who snag themselves a little puppy dog. I like the way you point out the difference between men & women on this -- does seem a bit unfair that being a "cougar" is noteworthy, when it's never been an issue for men. But my interpretation of how "cougar" is used doesn't really jive with your comparison . . . it seems that "cougars" are being applauded for finally conducting themselves the way men have for ages.

In short, I like your self-debate style & your writing itself is solid, understandable, & well-organized. However, there seems to be a lot of "negativity" that's being rebutted here, but I've never encountered these seemingly difficult issues in navigating the dating scene at older & older ages. I would urge ALL women to forget about all these stupid expectations about how we dress or present ourselves.

[Joy Carver]

Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions! I found it both hilarious and disturbing the thoughts people shared with me when the term "cougar" was used. It seems to be used in a negative way with the people who shared this discovery with me. I felt it to be comical, since I had never really looked at it from their point of view...just got dressed every day and loved who I happened to love ;-)

[barleygirl]

I did like that part of your story in particular, where you described how you just LIVE your life, and whoever you are with or whoever you love, it all just HAPPENS. I am the same way. I have close friends of all ages & I am more tuned into a different kind of maturity (not measured in years) in the people I end up spending more time with *smile*

[Joy Carver]

I couldn't agree more. I tend to spend my time thinking of other things more important, rather than who I spend time with or why