Bubble

I am wondering if I am the only one wandering around this planet in a horribly designed, and flawed bubble.  Life throws blow after blow at you. Some you dodge successfully and some hit you right in the gut, taking the very breath out of you and crumpling you to your knees.  Sometimes, we jump right back up, sometimes, we haphazardly fight from our knees and sometimes we just get knocked out. So in our own delusional haze, we decide we should learn from these incidents, that we should grow, mature even, when in all actuality, we probably won't. We, in reality will actually start being busy building, brick by brick, our proverbial wall, in which no one or thing can penetrate and make us feel like that again. Our safety net, our bubble....problem with this is, we are creatures of habit.  We may twist and turn a bit but the same path seems to be what we ultimately follow.  The same type people, the same type job, friends or reactions to situations...Our strong points remain just as solid as do our weaknesses seem to remain just as weak.  No matter how much you want it to be different, no matter how much you talk to yourself and try to adjust.  We are who we are for the most part.  Now don't take this as me claiming  defeat, I believe we can adjust small portions of our behavior and condition ourselves to certain changes. I just don't believe a miraculous overhaul within our personality is really possible. I also don't believe it should be done. Everyone has things that could use some work, some tweaks and small adjustments.  But the same things that get us hurt also make us who we are. So is it that we need to change or should we change who or what we are around.  The circle is round and here we go again. Round and round we go where we stop nobody knows...oh yea I do. Right back on the same path you found yourself before. So here we run around with the one and only hope that a different person, event or goal will accidently bump into us on our journey. When we find the same situation or person again..there we go back to building our wall....our safety net...our bubble. No matter how strong you think your wall may be, it is still as weak as your will allows it to be.  Attempting to protect yourself is what has me confused or questioning at least today. Can you really protect yourself without trying to change who you are?  Or are you just delaying the inevitable by deluding yourself temporarily?  I believe what some see as our own individual weaknesses others find to be our strengths. So it isn't that we should really be changing what makes us who we are as much as maybe we need to change our company or our goals.  If we try and adjust ourselves or hide from the world in some ridiculous attempt to protect ourselves, we will fail.  Life isn't about protecting ourselves and hiding to save our heart from aches and pains.  It is about loving and living to the fullest and hoping that the joy and thrills we feel will aid us in bouncing back from the pain.  It is about finding our niche, our lil spot in this beautiful journey.  We will get hurt, we will feel loss and indescribable pain.  However, we will also feel joy, see beauty and experience overwhelming love.  So why change yourself...why hide? I don't want to be the one with blinders on, wrapped in bubble wrap quietly walking thru life. If I allow that to happen, then the persons, things or experiences that hurt me have won. The great things that life has to offer will also pass me by.  I would rather be the person that loves openly, gives freely, trusts completely...that is me, that is Joy. Why should I change any of these things? Because they got me hurt and caused me pain? These very things also have given me great joy and allowed me to experience some of the most beautiful things in my life. I don't want to be the jaded, sad shell of myself I am starting to see. So I plan on carefully dismantling my wall, slowly let the air out of my bubble and throw caution to the wind.  I say all the time that things work out the way they are suppose to, I am actually gonna live my life like that and not just talk about it.  There is nothing I could strive to do better or be better at than being me.  So changing me isn't in my future...being a better me is. The right people will love you for who you are not who they would like you to be.