Better get more

Better get more

A Poem by Mpotavin
"

just playing with words

"

Better get more

junk costs less then fruit

powerful economic forces

crushing the poor

the dollar store

 

It's all in degrees

disease

till we notice

the oily ring

round the swimming pool

 

Stupid tools

some rictus symphony

my agony

draining more from me

melting into purple sunsets

 

© 2008 Mpotavin


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Reviews

i like it very much!
an unusual rhyme scheme... the pattern is appealing!
the idea is important and its presentation is very good!
the structure is well held and flowing nicely!

in other words! i like!

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Isn't this poem the ironic truth! We, as humans, created this senseless cost on the dollar.

Nice rhyme flow and unique idea!

Thoroughly enjoyed.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Keep playing! The words don't flow for me. I liked the last stanza but the rest just didn't seem to go with the poem.

Posted 16 Years Ago


This is so well written and speaks with strenght! ~ Lana

Posted 16 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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236 Views
4 Reviews
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Added on April 1, 2008

Author

Mpotavin
Mpotavin

Phoenix, AZ



About
I have stood before cameras and stage. Smiled or just screamed in rage. I have feasted and gorged, fasted and purged my soul balanced between darkness and light. I have held a man as he died, whispere.. more..

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