forget it... just try

it about how you feel in life

When we look at you
do you shrink away?
does your consience
shake you at all?

cant you feel...
our lifeless eyes
brken smiles
and decaying laughs?

plunge deep inside
our empty shells
forever trapped
in your prison cells

listent to the screams
the sobs and wails
of tormented todays
and burden tomorrows

wish we wont
pray we dont
hope we cant
forget we never

and neither will you

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

Well now, that's more like it. Your spelling and grammar need work, as always, but this is definitely one of your better works that I've seen. This one actually nails the dark tone that I always feel you're trying to achieve but never quite acquire. Build off of this one. You're getting somewhere.

[E. A. Fielder]

this poem says to me that people as they grow older seem to get caught up with making something of themselves in the real word that they in turn lose themselves. I really liked the stregth of your intro but I think you should fix up the ending. It felt weak compared to the rest of this piece. Other than the ending I really felt like this piece was great!

[A Touch of Insanity:)]

Very dark, and scary. There are a few problems, but overall very well written! Congratulations. I really like the tone of this poem, you should keep this tone and work off of it, definitely. If you want me to review anymore, send requests. Overall very nice write!

[Killer]

This is a lifeless poem great lifeless means that your greater than you've thought I thought it would be great

[Maria]

i love this poem very well written!

[deeps]

This is just wonderful
I really enjoyed this write.
Wonderful flow as well.

[Cherie Paregrine Isis]

I like it,thou it seem to hit a simple meaning that is deeper under the surface,i like how its worded.

[tora]

i was mad at the moment when i wrote this poem wow i did do a good job