celibate abstinence

this has been a thought in my head for a few months now.

i have failed two times already, third one comes, three strikes I'm out. and i know,the one, she will not come to me. i just will not be that lucky. luck has already done so much for me it's coming to its end. woman that i love: she will do everything i love, she will be a brunette, have beautiful eyes, parents married, 2.5 years from me, love thee outdoors, love to walk in the rain, be an Amazonian decent, will give me a rose without me asking, i will be her greatest lover she's has ever had, yet she is pure, pure innocence in my eyes. she will be my first. i have not met this feminea intimately but i hope too.
I'm done with girls, no more no less. petty that i have come to this............ so so wanted that soulmate to come to me and me not have such a rash over pass "loves" if you can even call "them" that. how will i proceed with life, will i find happiness all alone admits the human species? i will be abiding by two words, celibate abstinence!

Author's Note

I'm in a pit of deepression. women keep coming on to me but they all fail, as i have, to have the prerequisites for me.