painstakingly bitter sweet

there will always be a painstakingly bittersweet taste with the thought of her. for the pain she made me suffer, yet the beautiful sweet moments we shared that I will never taste again. ...................proprietary emotions still hither about. every so often they return and make thy mournful of Past Journey. thy thought was done with these torrential afflictions that leave thy doleful, with this after taste of bitter sweet. Thy should not be so emotionally painstakingly distraught. ************************** "proprietary emotions still hither about." for my heart's not being here any more and yet owning all this grief. "thy thought was done with these torrential afflictions that leave thy doleful, with this after taste of bitter sweet." I thought I was done, over, with these thoughts of the Past that I regret having Journeyed and yet they pour themselves over me in such a manner that thoughts of her in my mind make me sad with the taste of bitter sweet; lingering makes "her" unhappy thoughts. I wish I had an erase button for my mind, just like I deleted all of pictures of the trip I took with her. "Thy should not be so emotionally painstakingly distraught." it makes me so emotionally unbalanced that I feel I will never stop thinking about that b€%#¥.