Expectations of a Bisexual Woman

Questions bisexual women are asked everyday.

Answers to the questions I've gotten ever since I came out.

"When did you know you were bi? Ever since you were born?"

Actually, when I was born I came out of my mother covered in all that gross white s**t, looking like an alien potato.

Eyes wide open, looking for dicks and p***y.

"Do you find all women to be your future lover?"

Everyday when I wake up, I go outside in my liberal town of Oklahoma and scower for every woman that I can find.

I go to each one, immediately prompting them with moving in and buying 3 shelter cats.

But I also warn them that since I'm bisexual I will probably leave them for a man. Or a woman. You know, equality.

What a tiring day.

"Will you f**k my wife while I watch? I'm begging you, you'd be the greatest friend!"

Of course! What other weird porno thing would you like me to do?

I might have to check my schedule first, I think I still have to meet up with this guy from a frat party who wanted to have sex with me and my girlfriend.

So considerate right?

"Soooo, what is you percentage of attraction between men and women?"

It literally never changes! Every time I walk into a gay bar I still equally think about men!

But before you even ask, I always want the opposite gender attractive when I'm in a relationship.

In cisgender world, being gay is a loophole for cheating.

Also you should be worried about me turning all of my straight friends gay and laying the sweet mack down.

After all, noodles are straight until they're wet.

So for all of my friends out there, come book an orgy with me and use my discount code BISEXUALSLAVE for 25% off.