Intro

    Cassandra Clare and Edith Hamilton once wrote:

    “My heart tells me this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had. But my mind knows the difference between wanting what you can’t have and wanting what you shouldn't want. And I shouldn’t want you. Love, however, cannot be forbidden. The more that flame is covered up, the hotter it burns. Also love can always find a way. It was impossible that these two whose hearts were on fire should be kept apart.”  

   Suddenly, I felt like I can deeply relate to those quotes and wonder if these authors were ever in a situation similar like mine. I seen in the movies many stories similar like mine but I don't think my tale will have such a happy ending...

       I am in love with my best friend. 

  

    You're probably thinking it will be like some movie where I confess to my best friend how I really feel and we just fall in love and get married. Not quite. The thing is...he is gay. Thats right, gay. Why am I in love with someone who is grossed out by the female anatomy? Why am I in love with someone that I know I will never possibly be with ever. I know its not just a crush, I have been having the same feelings for him even before he came out which was 4 years ago. 4 years of having feelings for my gay best friend. I've had boyfriends to distract myself and in the end I just break it off with them or get heartbreak. 

      Only one person knows of what I feel about him but like the above quote says, the more that flame is covered up, the hotter it burns. Keeping it a secret this long is truly painful and now that he is in a stressful decision to move or not, i to am in a stressful decision. Should I tell him how I feel before he moves? Should I tell him at all? What would his reaction be? Do I stop him or let him go? 

        I long for you.

Author's Note

If you seen any grammer problems and such please let me know. Thank you.