Fragment #1

Luke is on a subway with nothing but a frightening old woman and a backpack full of arts-and-crafts materials

Luke’s palms were sweating.

The old lady in the corner of the subway car was sleeping; her head bobbing in sync with the bumps of the ride. She had a shawl wrapped around her neck, but the black marks on her leathery skin had advanced up her jaw and onto her cheeks. One hand wrapped around a pole, the boy shifted his weight back and forth, switching from foot to foot. He had stood in this single spot for over two hours �" he was not going to sit down with that lady within ten miles of him. The dim lights were the only thing giving him any sort of comfort in the underground tunnels. If he could see, he could react.

                The incoherent static of the driver’s voice boomed from the speakers above the old woman. Lue held his breath as she stirred, but showed no other signs of consciousness. Luke exhaled �" then he was smothered in darkness and thrown onto the floor.

                The dim red glow of the exit sign flickered in and out, just enough light to see the woman advancing on him, her movements in sync with the pulsing lights, legs contorting into impossible positions as she made her way toward Luke. A guttural growl escaped her throat as Luke stumbled to stand again. Through the violent growls and hisses, he thought he heard her trying to form words, the way a child does as it learns to talk. With no time to attempt to decode the babbles, Luke scrambled to the train doors, yanked them open and leaped over the tracks seconds before the train began moving again �" the doors shut the old woman in. Not waiting or another train to run him over, Luke hugged the wall as he began searching for the nearest station: a dirty, dim place, but it was safer. 

Author's Note

This is still a very rough idea, but I'd love feedback on anything!

Reviews

[lena]

Every time some mentions sweaty palms all I can think of is that Eminem song *cries*

This is really good, you managed to do a lot in those couple paragraphs, just maybe add a bit more detail on the woman, like spend some more time describing her to create a strong mental image ;) xx

[c.s]

Alright, thank you! I always have trouble finding a good median between too much a too little detail, but I'll try to add more!