8

8

It was getting late. Keevan had just gotten into her nightgown and settled down in her bed. Her mother and stepfather were both working late that night so she was home alone. Keevan sighed and put her palms against her eyes. She was still distressed about what had happened earlier in the library. What had she done wrong to make Karkat not like her? Why had he said such awful things to her when she had only tried to help?

Karkat needs a friend, Keevan thought to herself, rubbing her eyes. Why did he push me away? Why would he say those things to me…?

Her thoughts were cut off by a sudden noise from downstairs, a pounding at the front door. Keevan brought her head off of her pillow and got out of bed. She hurried down the stairs and to the front door without thinking of who it could have been. As she opened the door, she almost jumped back when she saw who it was.

“K-Karkat?” Keevan gasped. The boy was leaning in the doorway, shivering with reddened eyes and tears running down his cheeks. He looked furious. She was a little upset all of a sudden, remembering the horrible things he had said to her. But when she looked closer at him, it was impossible to look past the brokenness in his eyes. He looked...lost. He needed someone.

Keevan didn't say another word before pulling him inside by his arm and shutting the door quickly. She brought him into her living room, neither of them looking at each other, Karkat sniffling and choking on broken sobs as she sat him down on her couch. Keevan took a blanket from the arm of the couch and draped it over his shoulders even though he tensed up when she did so. She knelt in front of him and tried to gain eye contact but he wouldn't meet her gaze. He was still trembling and trying his hardest not to cry.

“Karkat, what’s the matter?” Keevan asked him softly. “It’s okay, you can tell me. Karkat?”

Karkat gasped back tears in his throat and wiped his eyes fiercely.

“I-I’m sorry,” he said, his head low. “I’m sorry for what I said to you. It was a lie. I shouldn’t have said those words when you told me not to, I shouldn’t have...I...”

“Karkat, it’s alright,” Keevan said, feeling a pang in her heart to see Karkat so hurt. “I forgive you.”

Karkat pressed his palms to his eyes and shook his head, clenching his teeth.

“No, it’s not alright,” he growled. “I was awful to you! I really...I really did need a friend. I’m sorry that...that I’m so...”

Keevan got up and sat next to Karkat on the couch. She put a hand on his knee and he shut up, his whole body tensing. He looked over at her and she finally met his eyes.

“I’m here, Karkat,” she said softly. “I’ll be your friend.”

Karkat bit his lip hard and his gaze faltered from hers.

“Th...thanks,” he said weakly. He was silent for a long time. Keevan looked over his face and suddenly noticed his cheek was red and had thin lines of blood trickling down his face.

“K-Karkat, what happened to your cheek?” Keevan asked him, hesitantly touching under his eye. He quickly flinched away from her touch and grabbed her wrist. Keevan was taken aback, but neither of them spoke as he held her wrist tight. He didn’t look at her. His grip slowly loosened.

“Nothing,” Karkat muttered, releasing Keevan’s wrist. “I’m fine.”

“Tell me what happened, Karkat,” Keevan insisted, forcing eye contact with him. “How did you get hurt like that? Are you alright?”

“I already f*****g said I’m fine!” Karkat shouted, turning away and clenching his fists. Keevan’s eyes widened and she flinched at his words. Karkat cut himself off. He slowly turned back to Keevan, his eyes starting to water.

“I’m sorry,” Karkat whispered, looking at her. “I didn’t mean that. My...my mom and I don’t get along very well.”

Keevan felt a wave of sympathy wash over her. Her heart hurt for Karkat. She sadly watched a tear fall from his eye. He wiped his eyes quickly.

“Did she hit you?” Keevan whispered back. She carefully touched his cheek again, but this time he didn’t flinch away. Karkat hesitated for a long time before nodding.

“This was the first time she’d ever looked at me in a long time,” he said, his voice thin. “The first time she had spoken to me, too. And it was only to...scream at me and remind me that her work is much more important to her than her only son.”

Keevan didn’t know what to say. She felt tears welling up in her eyes and she held a hand to her mouth as Karkat continued speaking.

“I’m only a burden to her,” he murmured, “just another expense on her bills.”

“No,” Keevan interjected, looking at Karkat and meeting his eyes. “No, Karkat, I’m sure your mother loves you. She just has trouble expressing it. Don’t think that you're nothing to her because she"”

“She HATES me, Keevan!” Karkat screamed. “She hit me because I only wanted to talk to her! I wanted her to care about me! She doesn’t love me, nobody does! Nobody will ever love someone as useless as me, and don’t try to convince me that my mother just has trouble telling me that she cares! She has NEVER loved me! Nobody has, nobody ever will!”

Karkat had begun to sob halfway through his yelling. Keevan stayed quiet so he could let out his feelings, but her heart felt as if it was breaking for him. When he was finished, he dropped his head and cried into his hands. Keevan took in a breath and scooted closer to him. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. Karkat flinched and his crying stopped. Keevan hushed him and pat his back gently.

“That’s not true, Karkat,” she whispered. “Someone does love you whether you believe it or not, because I love you. We’re friends.”

Karkat hesitated to do anything with Keevan’s arms around him. He held his breath. Keevan had just told him that she loved him. He felt tears in his eyes again as he felt a rush of emotion. He was angry and relieved and grateful all at the same time, but he looked like he felt more anger than anything.

“No,” Karkat muttered, pushing Keevan away. “You’re lying, you don’t love me.”

Keevan was hurt. Her soft brown eyes made his heart want to melt, but he clenched his teeth and avoided her gaze again. “You don’t even know me,” Karkat continued quietly.

“I want to know you,” Keevan whispered, putting a hand gently on his cheek. “I wouldn’t lie to you about this. I want to be your friend, Karkat, so I can help you.”

She gave him a heartfelt smile.

“I...” Karkat began, his cheeks burning light red. “I want to...be your friend, too.”

He felt his heartbeat quicken when he looked back up at Keevan’s gaze. She smiled again and lightly kissed his cheek.

“Then we’re friends,” Keevan said sweetly. “And I’ll help you whenever you need it. Okay?”

Karkat gulped, caught in her gaze. He shakily nodded.

“Okay,” he said, his voice cracking a bit.

“You can stay here tonight, if you need,” Keevan offered. “There’s a guest bedroom right beside mine that you can use.”

“U-uh,” Karkat stammered, blushing harder. “I don’t want to be a...burden.”

“My parents won’t mind at all,” Keevan assured him. “It’s no trouble. Come on, now, I’ll get you settled.”

She grabbed Karkat’s hand with her own and pulled him up from the couch. Leading him out of the room and up the stairs, Keevan felt Karkat’s heart racing and his grip on her hand tensing.

“Here it is,” she said, smiling at Karkat. “You can sleep in that bed and make yourself at home however you need. I’m right next door if you need anything, alright?”

“Um, alright,” Karkat murmured. He glanced away from her so she wouldn’t see him blushing. Keevan released his hand and walked back to the door. She leaned in the doorway.

“Goodnight, Karkat,” she whispered, smiling warmly.

“G-goodnight,” Karkat whispered back, staring back at her. He was unable to smile back but his gaze softened at her. Keevan knew that he only had trouble showing how he felt when he really wanted to be kind. She would learn to understand him. She would help him. Keevan walked out of the room and into her own. She laid down on her bed and closed her eyes, sighing. She knew only one thing for certain about him.

Karkat was desperately in love with her.