Early Sunsets

There was a horrid shriek as the beast sank into her flesh. His vile eyes tearing into my soul as I fought him off. I was able to save her, but the wound was deep and bled profusely. Tears flowed freely from her deep gray eyes and she grasped her arm in pain.
"We have to keep moving!" I commanded as I grabbed hold of her good arm. We ran as fast as we could, Natalie sobbing all the way. I allowed us a moment's rest at the bottom of a short cliff, panting heavily as I examined her wound. The bleeding had slowed, but it looked horrendous. "Natalie, look at this," I told her. But she wasn't listen. Her wide eyes were fixed on her far right.
"They're coming..." she whispered, "they're following us!". She was right.
Racing towards us were a dozen vampires. These were not the sophisticated, sexy vampires of novels and movies, but ravenous monsters, craving blood. By their gaunt and pallid look, it seemed as if they hadn't fed for weeks.
'Run Natalie!" But my call fell upon deaf ears. She stood there, petrified, as the vampires grew ever closer. "Run D****t!" I yelled as I grabbed onto her arm once more. But vampires are fast. They don't need to breathe, never get tired, and never give up on a kill. It wasn't long until one was in arm's length of Natalie. He grabbed onto her long chestnut hair, and fiercely yanked back her head, his eyes intent on her slender neck.
I was afraid he would break her neck before he even got to her blood. Vampires are much, much stronger than any man could ever be. But in exchange for this power, they release their humanity, their soul, their entire being, and become a dark monster. Not all vampires are as uncivilized as these, however. Driven by hunger, this clan of vampires had lost all sanity. But vampires are very much like us, besides the superb strength, acute hearing, never aging, and all the pros and cons of being undead. Many of them live among humans, and can remain undetetected for years if they're smart about it.
More vampires were gaining on us, which for once, was a good thing. As a female came closer, he was distracted, and I grabbed her hand as we ran up the side of the rocky cliff. The vampires quarreled below us, unaware of their prey escaping. We found a narrow cave, not much bigger than a walk-in closet. Natalie sat upon the dirt red floor of the cave, holding her wound tightly.
"It hurts," she whispered and winced. I took her hand in mine, and looked at the bite once more. It smelled of infection, and looked it too. I gathered some rope from my pack.
"What... what's that for?" she looked worried.
"It's just... incase something happens." I wrapped the rope around her wrists, and tied it snugly. If she were to turn, it wouldn't give much protection, but it would have to do for the time being. I couldn't bear to hurt her.
Her eyes grew wide. "If what happens?"
I bit my lower lip. I wasn't quite sure myself. What could I tell her? I bruwhed a few stray hairs away from her face. "Just trust me hon, it's for your own good." And mine.
I looked at her there, that long chestnut hair, those dark gray eyes, her pale pink lips. We'd been together for four years. What if I lost her? No, I thought. I won't lose her. I can't. But how could I keep her if she were to change?
The sun fell deeper as the sky turned a bright orange red. An early sunset had come upon us, and I knew the vampires would soon become more rabid then ever. During the day, vampires can still roam about, but aren't nearly as strong or menacing as they could be. With twilight their true strength and malevolence is brought out, and all Hell breaks loose. I had built a small fire for us as the air grew colder, and it could double as a weapon. Fire is one of the only surefire ways to kill a vapire, and it had come in handy a few times already. Several thirsty vampires had made their way up the cliff, but as one after another they were burned into a smoldering pile of ash, they stopped trying. I inspected Natalie's wound again. It seemed to pulsate and writhe as if it were taking on life. Worse, than that, it had spread. Numerous splotches on her body had become infected with the toxic venom of the undead. My heart was shattered. It was happening. The change was taking place, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
"What is it?" Natatlie wearily pleaded as she woke from her sleep.
As she looked at me, I stared at her face in horror. Her pupils were gone.
"Nothing my dear, nothing." I lied as I wrapped a blanket around her shivering ivory body, tears running silently down my face. This wasn't how it was supposed to end! What happened to getting married, starting a family and growing old together? ...Anything but this. My beautiful Natalie was to become a horrid monster.
I held her for as long as I could. She became feverish, sweating fervently. She was paler than I had ever seen, and her teeth growing ever larger. She screamed in pain as the final stages of the change took place, and I knew she was already dead. Dying is easy. Becoming undead is the painful part.
I could hear the vampires getting closer and closer, until they were just a few feet away from the caves entrance. I looked into her soulless, pupilless eyes for the last time.
"I love you," she managed to whisper through the grueling bouts of pain.
And I tried not to cry as I laid her into the fire, her heart-wrenching shrieks ringing out as the flames engulfed her entirely. I would let the vampires suck me dry, but I would never let my love join them in the atrocity.

Reviews

[Rebecca]

one thing about this that is good is you are good at writing active plot. also, one thing you can expand upon is the unhumaness of vampires, of how they are both monsters and humans - maybe expand upon it by making a part in the vampire's pov and how they struggle with bloodlust vs humanity. I like this! but it doesnt feel finished.