Damaged

Who I was and who I am and who I want to be

I cannot seem to find myself amongst the burning trees.

For I am only pieces of my past,

damaged and defective.

I need to find some peace of mind,

I need a new perspective.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

I like the message this has......I also like the way it flows (it definitely dances). But judging by the musicality....."former" is two syllables too wordy (the musicality can't carry over well. Suggestion: "pieces of my past", which thus implies "former self" and aids the musicality to flow better). Well done otherwise!

[moonstrucknlove]

Thank you! I questioned the flow of that as well. Your suggestion fits! Always looking for ways to better my writings! Danka!

[emipoemi]

You're very welcome. Always happy to help.

[Bare Trees]

There are some points in life when things won't seem to fit in place. The vibes feel wrong, things get awkward or don't go right. I've been there.

I think it's an internal thing within how you think and how you look at things, but that's just my two cents.

I've seen the other review and although I can see different format, I think this is fine. The meaning is what counts.

[moonstrucknlove]

Thank you Autumn. Yes, to each his own! :-)