Stage Three.

Your words are running through my head

As I wonder what on Earth went wrong

Besides everything in the universe.

I’d gladly give up the feeling

If I could never forget your face.

“She just wants attention”

But I’m not one to throw

Flowers at other’s feet.

I’m unsure of what to say

Since I never know what to think.

Your loom full of riddles has broken,

The fabric unravels,

And you’re left fragile and bare.

I can’t bear to look at your weakness.

I can’t bear to let you out of your life.

Stay, I’m begging and pleading.

Maybe I can change this.

Maybe I can save this.

I’m just waiting for the right words,

Waiting for the write time,

If it’s all in the waiting,

We’ll never see the end.

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

Your longing is captured well in this, particularly after having read the other two poems in the series. Honestly this one seems a little... flat after the others - it moves slower and it seems more mellow. That could just be me and my critical eye, though :-) I liked your play on words at the end - write and right, although I'm not sure if it came across with the power that you were hoping for. Perhaps if you had given us some image of writing within the poem it would make a little more sense.

Also, one quick grammatical thing: I think you mean "throwing flowers at others' feet," because the way you have it now it's singular.

Good job as usual - I really enjoyed the series.

[Jeremy]

Very interesting, very good. You captured the very essence of love and it's ending. The unraveling slippage from our grasp, and the will put into the effort we use to try to hold it together so. There is no moment when our heart feels as much desperation as when it seems it is about to crack under the pressure of love lost.

[C.T. Bailey]

The pain and uncertainly of losing love....which is the worse pain? Understanding why or not understanding? You captured this emotion in a crystal clear way. One can easily sense your pain, frustration, and anger in the event. I especially like "your loom of riddles has broken, The fabric unravels". That is exactly what its like...the fabric of life torn and lacking someone to mend it. Very nicely done...
Todd