The Crossroads

A Story by moondust

”There are crossroads...”

He lingered unsure if the girl was listening. What was her name again? He hated not being listened to but it was a part of getting old he supposed. The young have no respect for age and the older he got the more he realized that. “What about these crossroads?” The girl named Sue asked him absent mindedly. She was wearing a pink tank top and black pants with silver stars running down the left leg. Her hair was fastened in a ponytail with a ribbon as silvery as the stars on her pants. “There are crossroads” he repeated and slapped the back of her hand lightly to get her attention.

“The roads that lead to these crossroads are old.” He took a sip of water. His hand was shaking but it was nothing new. The Alzheimer was progressing slowly, growing in his mind like weed, slowly taking over the garden where his memories once grew. “I wish I had some scotch” he moaned before continuing his tale. The girl got up and walked to the liquor cabinet. “Double grandpa?” she asked and smiled conspiringly.

“Double” his mood snapped up like a rubber band. “You’re a doll” he said to the girl Sue when she handed him the glass. “This is just between you and me” she said. “Remember?”

Oh yes he remembered.

“The roads are old and nowadays I guess they are mostly run down, disappearing. Or perhaps they’ve turned them into highways. Who knows?” His voice trailed away. The girl Sue looked at him. He hadn’t started on his liquor. “Take a sip grandpa” she said and smiled. “It’s good for you. You’re head becomes clearer”. He thanked her and gulped down some of the liquid. It warmed him.

“I often walked one of these roads as a child. It was how I got to school. I had to walk at least ten kilometers to the bus. The bus stopped a stone’s throw from the crossroads. I used to sit on a stone where the bus stopped and wait. The crossroads were just a few meters away but I never walked over there, I believe. That is, not until I became fifteen.”

“I bet you were handsome in those days grandpa” the girl Sue nudged his elbow with hers. He smiled at her. “I don’t know about that, but my looks haven’t gotten any better with age. If you know what I mean?” He took another sip from his glass. It wet his throat and warmed his stomach. The girl Sue smiled self consciously.

“One day when I was fifteen the bus was late. It was a strange afternoon. Usually I would take the bus to school early in the morning but that day was different. I’ve forgotten why. I waited for hours alone on that damned stone but the bus never came. Then I decided to walk back home but before I did that I walked over to the crossroads. I thought I could get a better view of the road there. I just wanted to see if I saw the bus in the distance.”

The old man cracked his knuckles. His sinews were so bare you could count them in his hands. It repulsed him. The girl Sue didn’t seem to mind though. He was lucky that way. She didn’t seem to mind sitting beside him, listening to his ravings. He looked at her, gratefulness shining from his eyes. She didn’t notice.

“Instead of walking back though I sat down on the crossroads. I sat down there as if I was exhausted. I wasn’t exhausted. I just suddenly felt like sitting down. Or maybe I felt like I was going to faint. I can’t remember. I just know I had to sit down and I did.”

There were so many things he couldn’t remember. So many different memories he lost and later regained but when he remembered again he usually forgot something else.

He had first noticed the signs when he forgot where he’d parked his car. It was a red Volkswagen Beetle and he had roamed around for hours searching for it. He remembered that toxic feeling in his chest when he realized that he couldn’t for the life of him remember where he parked it. He had tried telling himself it was just a fluke. Then he realized it must have been stolen and he rushed to the police station, reported the theft and went home happy that it had just been a scare.

Then his wife told him that he had taken a taxi to work that morning because the car was in the shop. That toxic feeling rushed over him all over again. He refused to look it in the eye though. He just stomped onwards like a bull in a china shop. It was the only way he knew.

He would never forget that day though. No matter what else he forgot. He would never forget that day when he was fifteen.

“I sat down. It wasn’t a very traveled road so I was safe and I sat there for hours without a single person or car passing me by. The road was an old path, unpaved and the winter frosts had taken a lot out of it. I could just as well have been sitting in the wild. And I guess I was.”

He remembered a small Forget-me-not that had been thriving by the side of the road. It had two crowns, one of which looked like it was reaching towards him where he sat. He had stared at it. He wanted to pick it but he knew it would have lost its color when he came home to his mother even if he started running right away.

“I don’t know how long I sat there. I never noticed it getting dark. Hours must have passed. Perhaps I slept but who would fall asleep in the middle of the road? I didn’t have Alzheimer in those days.” He laughed and looked at the girl Sue. She was reading a magazine. “Of course you didn’t. Perhaps it was the weather? Sometimes it gets very dark before it rains” the girl named Sue said and passed him a look. “Perhaps, yes” he said.

“When darkness fell I found myself unable to get up. It frightened me because I was able to move my leg but I couldn’t get myself to stand up. It was a matter of will, not physical strength. So I just sat there and stared up at the sky and listened to the sounds around me. I was afraid and I had to swallow hard so I wouldn’t cry.”

The girl Sue placed the magazine on the wooden table between them. The magazine had a picture of a young woman on it. She was pouting her red lips and had a ribbon in her hair similar to Sues, except the woman’s was green.

“Then a man came walking. He looked strange and I knew right away that he was no regular man. Not normal at all. He walked towards me and stopped in front of me. It was a terrifying moment. He was wearing black suits which looked too big for him and a black hat with a large brim.”

The man had looked like a child from afar, like a child wearing his father’s suit. He had looked childly delicate and at the same time terrifying.

“The man sat down in front of me. He folded his legs underneath himself and looked me in the eyes. I don’t know how long we sat there.” The girl Sue stood up and fetched a can of Coke that was standing on top of the liquor cabinet. She always kept one close by. “Are you sure you didn’t dream this grandpa?” she said as she sat down beside him again.

“Oh I’m sure. I remember that better than I remember yesterday” he smiled sadly. The girl Sue examined the carpet beneath her feet. “I know grandpa. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“You do enough, my dear” he said, “who but you would sit here and listen to me reminisce?” He reached over and pinched her cheek although he suspected she was too old for such gestures. How old was the girl Sue? He couldn’t remember. Fifteen? Eighteen? Twenty? It was hard to tell the age of young girls and it only got harder the older he got. “You know I love listening to your stories” she said and smiled but the smile never reached her eyes. She seemed preoccupied but then again she always looked preoccupied.

“So we sat there the two of us for a while and then he spoke to me. He asked me if I wanted to go with him. He said I would get everything I wanted if I just came with him. I shook my head. I was terrified of him. He looked older than dirt. Although not quite as taken as I am today.” He laughed. She smiled.

“He sat there for a while longer and repeated his offer but I just shook my head. I knew that strangers couldn’t be trusted and I certainly didn’t trust that man. Then he took a small diamond from the inside of his jacket pocket and put it on the ground in front of me. He stood up and walked away. I was terrified. I couldn’t get my eyes of the diamond. It was small but it could just as well have been the size of the mountains that towered behind me.”

He remembered the small details of the diamond better than he remembered the face of his dead wife. It had been a difficult time when she died. He never thought she would leave him like that. He never thought she would die before he did.

He had been having a particularly bad day that day. When his son came to him to tell him she was dead, that she wouldn’t come back, he couldn’t even remember her name. He had remembered her face then. Now he remembered her name but he had forgotten her face. And in time he would forget her entirely. When the thought occurred to him it sent chills down his spine.

“I still couldn’t get up. I was sure I was spellbound. I was sure that someone had put some horrific spell on me. I couldn’t stand. I tried. I couldn’t. I could move my feet, my hands, my head but I couldn’t stand up at all.”

“Grandpa” the girl Sue broke in, “did you wear your mocha shoes that day? The shoes you said you got from your uncle who came from America?” The old man smiled as the memory of his uncle and the shoes hit him. “Oh yes” he said, “I was wearing the shoes. I wore them till they fell from my feet.” He laughed. His father had been a strong, bullheaded person. He didn’t want the evils of modernity to dig into the minds of his children and corrupt them so he made sure they were brought up the way he had been. No excessives. Hard work and country bliss. The shoes had been a hint towards the magic of modernity they knew so little about.

“The diamond was still in front of me when the woman came. Oh she was the most beautiful thing I ever saw in my life. Pardon me, but no human woman could match her beauty with that being.”

“Not even grandma?” the girl named Sue asked.

A tear trickled down the eye of the old man. The girl Sue didn’t notice or perhaps she thought it was due to his old watery eyes. “No, don’t get me wrong, your grandmother was the most beautiful woman I ever knew but this being had an unearthly beauty about her. It was like there was an aura around her that magnified her beauty. She had hair as dark as the feathers of a raven and eyes so blue you saw the entire ocean in them. She was wearing a blue dress, the like of which I had never seen before and have never seen again since. The golden broidery was marvelous but she wasn’t wearing anything else. Her feet were bare and she had no stockings or a jacket. It was cold.”

He finished his drink. The alcohol soothed his nerves. It didn’t make his head any clearer but it helped with the anguish and the longing. It helped him remember the old days.

“I offered to lend her my jacket but she just shook her head and knelt in front of me. I wanted to run away and I wanted to lend her the jacket to lean on so her dress wouldn’t get dirty but I was afraid to offer it once more and I certainly couldn’t run anywhere. I was like one of the stones. She had a pretty smile and she smiled the entire time she sat there opposite me on the crossroads.”

He remembered her face so well. It had reminded him a little of his mother except this woman had had none of his mothers tired expressions or age lines. She had gracefulness about her that he never saw in another human being.

“She offered me to go with her. She said that I would be happy and I would live forever with them in their beautiful halls. She said it was a life like no other and that a few got chosen to lead it. She said that I was a special kid and that I should go with her. I remember staring at the diamond in front of me when she said these things to me. Then she went silent. She touched my cheek and forced me to look into her eyes. I was captivated. I was crestfallen and I thought that if she vanished from my presence that I would die of loneliness. She was so pretty.”

He sighed. The girl Sue kissed him on the cheek. “This is why I love hearing you talk grandpa. You always tell it like it is, like it was or at least the way you remember it. You tell the truth.” She smiled embarrassed.

“Would you give me one more tear, dear?” he pushed his glass towards her. He knew that there wasn’t much chance of her complying but he had to try. He felt the warmth going out of his body and he knew what the cold brought. He knew what it meant when the mind turned foggy and stiff.

“Sure grandpa, but remember not to tell mom or dad” she frowned a little and fetched more scotch for him. She reminded him of someone, this girl with the kindness in her eyes. He knew who she was, his granddaughter, but she reminded him of someone else but he couldn’t remember who.

“She kissed me” he continued when she handed him the drink. He took it in his hands and watched the liquid dance in rhythm to his shaking hands. “She kissed me on the mouth and it was a fantastic kiss”. He turned silent. The kiss sat in his memory like a stone.

“Grandpa? Are you alright?” The girl Sue asked. She was holding the coke can. “Yes love” he said and smiled. “I was just remembering”. The girl Sue smiled, “that’s good, Grandpa”.

“It was a magnificent kiss. It wasn’t like kissing your grandmother. I loved your grandmother and kissing someone you love is different. But this woman had lips made of silk and I was only fifteen. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. And if I wasn’t sitting here now wearing this crumbled body I would still think so.” His gray eyes peered at her when he said this. “Then she said I should follow her. I should stand up when she did and follow her.”

He nearly had. Throughout his life he wished he had. During all the difficult moments of his life the thought always lingered in his head. The thought “what if I had followed the beautiful woman. What had my life been like?” He regretted it when his life had been hard but in his happiest days he only wondered.

“There was something about her that made me sit still when she stood up. I still remember the sound the skirt of her dress made when she stood up. It sounded like the waves of the ocean washing over a deserted beach. It sounded like the ocean does when the moon is full and the stars are all out dancing in the dark. It sounded like the sea. And she walked away. She didn’t look back but she knew I wasn’t behind her. I cried. I was just a child. And I cried like a child. I felt heartbroken. I felt like my life was over, like all the years to come would mean nothing without that magnificent being beside me.”

The girl Sue was watching the old man closely. She saw the hurt in his eyes and then the birth of a smile. She noticed how his hands were still when he talked. They didn’t shake as much when he reminisced. They were almost as still as they had been when he was younger. “Go on, grandpa” she whispered.

“The crossroads” he continued, “I sat there still. I couldn’t move and now I didn’t want to either. I just sat there with that small diamond in front of me. It occurred to me that if I didn’t keep my eye on it that it would disappear into the mud on the road. I would lose it. It was mine. I knew that much. It was mine if I only manage to break the spell. I missed the woman though. I wished she would come back. I wished it with all my heart and all my soul. If she had I would gladly have followed her. She didn’t come back though. She never did but another did in her place.”

He took a large gulp from his glass and looked out the window without seeing the rain hitting it or the cars pass by on the road outside. He didn’t notice the leave on the trees or the fence guarding their garden. He stared into his past instead.

“It was a man who came next. The last one. He was larger than the others had been, yet not large at all. He was beautiful as well, with delicate childlike features and hair as golden as the sun. Yet I could see he had a dark soul. I could see it from afar and I was terrified. I was so frightened I pissed my pants. You won’t repeat that to anyone, will you?” He looked at the girl Sue.

“Grandpa” she said with mock sternness in her voice, “of course I won’t”. She wouldn’t mention the times he had wet himself since then. She wouldn’t mention the times he had worn an adult diaper so he wouldn’t wet his bed. She wouldn’t mention the time her mother had scrubbed his egests from the carpet in his room. He didn’t remember and there was no reason to remind him.

“I was afraid of him. I had been in awe of the others but this one frightened me more than anything ever had or has since then. Except perhaps this bloody disease I have” he said the last in a low voice. It was as if his mouth said the words without his mind being aware and he continued: “he sat in front of me and looked me in the eyes. I saw war in his eyes. I saw rage in his eyes. I saw things in his eyes that I was too innocent to understand. I was sure that he would have me burn in hell or worse if I didn’t do as he said. I don’t know what it was about him. His looks didn’t inspire fear. He was wearing white suit but his chest was bare underneath the jacket. And his eyes were baby blue. His eyes looked like the eyes of a newborn. I think that’s what frightened me the most. I don’t know. He sat down without saying anything just like the others. He sat down and then he touched the diamond in front of me. The diamond changed colors. I could see images in it, small but clear. Or perhaps the images were all in my mind.”

He took a sip of his drink and then placed the glass on the table between them. He looked at her, checking for signs of doubt or laughter on her face but she was listening with interest. There was no sign of mockery.

“I could see images in the diamond. Ugly images. I didn’t know what I was seeing. I didn’t know what I was watching. I saw blood running in floods. I saw soldiers fall into rivers. I saw such evil.”

The man in white had been just as pretty as the woman. He had wanted to go with him as well but the man had put such terror in his chest that he was unable to comprehend what it was he was feeling. The man in white had touched his face and told his fortune. He had shown him his fortune in the diamond.

“I saw things there that …” his voice trailed off. The girl Sue always listened well and treated him with dignity and respect but there were limits to what she would belief. She would think it was just ravings of an old man on the brim of insanity, on the brim of forgetfulness that didn’t only rob you of your memories and your dignity but robbed you of your personality and your sanity as well.

“I saw things there that later became. They were snapshots and I didn’t understand. The images came to me later as Déjà vu. Do you know what that’s like?” She nodded her head. “A little” she added when he didn’t continue right away. “Go on, grandpa.”

“He told me that it was better that I left with him. He said nothing bad would ever happen to me with them. He said that I would be happy where they lived. That they would see to it that I had everything I needed. They would make sure I was happy and that I would stay innocent forever. But I didn’t stand up when the man did and I didn’t follow him either.”

He finished the liquid in his glass. She hadn’t given him much but it was enough to fill his chest with glee.

“Then the darkness heaved. It became light again. The diamond was still in front of me and it started to rain a little. I grabbed the tiny stone and I placed it in a pouch I had in my pocket. Then I stood up. It was as easy as always. I had no problems with it. I just stood up and started walking home. It was as if nothing had ever happened and my chest was light. I wasn’t frightened anymore. I was just a little embarrassed because of my mishap before so I walked slowly to make sure I would get soaked by the rain.”

He smiled at the memory.

“I’ve never told this tale to anyone before. When I came back my parents were beside themselves with fear. They had looked for me without luck. I told my mother that I had drifted from the road and gotten lost. Of course I hadn’t. I knew the country like the back of my hand. I would never have gotten lost there and I suspect she knew that but she was just so happy to see me.”

The girl Sue stood up and placed the glass on the top of the liquor cabinet. Then she took out a bottle of water and poured the glass half full, and then she added a small splash of scotch. “Drink this” she said, “slowly”. He nodded.

“I think they were elves” he said in a low voice. “I think they wanted me to come with them. Crossroads in the wild, crossroads between…” his voice trailed off. “Grandpa?” the girl Sue asked worriedly. “I’ve heard stories since then. It’s just folklore, like ghost stories. Except this was no ghost story. They came to me as I sat there. Spellbound or not I couldn’t stand up until all three of them had talked to me. I don’t think I ever made up my mind though. I just hesitated too long.”

The girl Sue stood up and fetched a quilt which she placed in the lap of her grandfather. She made sure he was sitting right in the chair and then she placed the glass in his hands.

“Before you go” he said and caught her arm. “I want to show you something. I want to give you something.” She smiled instead of sighing and sat down again. “I wasn’t going anywhere” she said, “I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable”. He didn’t seem to hear her.

He placed the glass carefully on the table and unhooked a chain that had been hanging around his neck since his wife died. It held a ring. He handed her the ring and the chain and told her to examine the ring. “That’s the diamond” he said. “I gave it to your grandmother when we got married. I placed it in her wedding ring. It was the most precious thing I owned and I was pretty poor when I asked her to marry me. She carried the ring all our married life.”

The ring was small and so was the diamond but it was beautiful none the less. “Grandpa, it’s beautiful. I can’t take this.” The girl Sue exclaimed. “This is…” She turned quiet. “You take it” he said, “you take it and you remember what I said. It was the most precious thing I owned. It still is. Just remember everything I said.” She hadn’t seen such passion in his eyes for a long time. She hadn’t seen such fire in them ever. He hadn’t had a day this good for a long time.

“I will treasure this forever, Grandpa” she said and placed the chain around her own neck. “Thank you” she whispered.

They sat silent for a while. The old man lost in his thoughts, lost in the few memories he had left. They came and they went. Tomorrow he might remember today. Tomorrow he might be like a child in its cradle. Who knew what tomorrow would bring? In the few clear moments he had these days the worst part was realizing what was happening.

“I’m so sorry for the burden I’ve become” he whispered to the girl. “Will you tell your father, and your kind mother?” he pleaded and she nodded. Her eyes were wide open. She wasn’t used to this sentimentality.

“I just wish I’d been kinder to you” she whispered. He shook his head. “You’ve been the kindest”. She shook her head. She hadn’t been the kindest but she wasn’t going to remind him if he didn’t remember. She often snapped at him when he said something wrong or lost his plate or a glass of water. She didn’t have the patience.

“Thank you for listening” he whispered. He knew that she didn’t always believe his stories but she had always listened and that was enough. She smiled. She had listened and she had always liked his stories. He suddenly remembered whom she reminded him of, she reminded him of his wife.

He trailed off to sleep, deep sleep that carried him far away. When his breath became shallow and his weak heart stopped he was sitting at the old crossroads. He was fifteen again. He was fifteen and he was wearing the mocha shoes his uncle had given him for his birthday. He saw the three of them approach him from afar. The man in the black suits. The beautiful woman in the blue dress and the terrifying man in white. They were just as he had remembered. Just as he had hoped.

They stood in front of him. There was sadness in their eyes.

“Stand up boy” the man in white said. “You are coming with us now, aren’t you?” And he nodded his head towards them and stood up. He left the diamond on the ground in front of him but he picked the Forget-me-not and fastened it on his jacket. He left the diamond there for someone, someone he had forgotten. The woman in blue gave him a light kiss on the mouth and stroked his hair. “It won’t be the same” she said, “but it will do.”

And they walked off.

Author's Note

In Iceland there are many stories about the elves. They are fair, beautiful and dangerous. This particular story is inspired by a belief that if you sit on crossroads that lead toward four churches you will be visited by elves. They will promise you treasures if you go with them. You cannot accept anything. When daylight comes you are supposed to stand up and say �Thank God, now there is daylight� and the elves will disappear and leave the treasure behind. If you accept their offerings you will be under their spell and lose your mind. This story is vaguely inspired by this folklore.