S.O.S.

Disconnected from my surroundings
And begging for anyone’s help
They respond with dead eyes 
And monotone voice 
As if I did not exist .

Further disconnected 
More hopeless than I remember 
I try to spark the light
Of an SOS in which I should have glittered.

It is really frightening more so than anything
How you can love others but brush me away 
And that is why I cannot trust you 
Or false comforts you have to say .

Its disquieting to think about our lives
The distance between.

Nobody is coming to aid me
Not mother or grandma
Or you or I 
Or people on the phone
Or hospital wards 
Or the universe

I will no longer yell help
I will yell shut up
And anger you once more

I will no longer say I’ll talk to you later
I’ll say I hope to talk to you later
Because really you have had too ideal expectations 
And I’m getting ready to go away 
In case there’s a hell that needs me.