Light

i wake up again, evening-time.

it's microwave noodles again, dinner-time.

i wish i had a friend.

i plan a great-time but it rots sour and melancholic.

but i do have a friend; he's right there in front of me, 

on a screen.  i only really love people who aren't real.

that's the realest to me.

and when i was younger, my family said that's better

than reality.  

i start reading a beautiful novel but

i have to go to sleep again, bed-time.

frustrated, and feeling like a louse,

i turn out the light that hurts my eyes

and lie awake in agonizing memories

and trash heaps scattered like debris.

until it's sleep-time again

and i have ugly dreams again.

but i've truly woken up,

not only in the sense of morning-time.

and life is damn beautiful

and my light cannot be extinguished

ever again.

i have to be my own friend.

and get back to reading this beautiful book

again.