Behind Bars

.

Death boozed afterlife, too slowly.

Turning up the volume,

it relished the scream of Vices.

They were detained for yielding ruins.

By the time Death had a hangover,

the Vices had strained off their existence,

performed their ablution

with the lightest second of oblivion.

 

The refiner’s work was done,

making its lip grin again.

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

this poem reminds me
of an old movie
" The Lost Weekend "
about an alcoholic
while on a binge
kills..

They find their escape
In the bottom of a bottle
or so they think ..only
to find they're really Behind
Bars of their own making
An apt title for this piece

it's a one way ticket to
hell's prison where the
devil has in reality won ..

nice work

[moog-drika]

if it were actually possible to kill the crime rather than killing people. Sigh.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It really means a lot.

[Rusteangi Ruba]

Exactly the poem had classic story touch...it's amzing pal

[Sami Khalil]

No worries. If you are behind bars, let someone bail you out.
Crimes and vices destroy lives and societies.

[moog-drika]

Just hoping someone doesn't bail the Vices out for it can lead to apocalypse. :3
Thanks for the review though.

[Sami Khalil]

I agree wholeheartedly. You are welcome.

[likhon]

Very Pictorial! Something that may keep lingering in my mind

[moog-drika]

Thrilled to hear that my poem left a lasting impression on you. Something I want my poetry to do to my readers :3
Thanks so much for the praise. Makes my day.

[Rusteangi Ruba]

Crisp words ,the poem reveals an emotion of being in bars.

[moog-drika]

Thank you so much. It really means a lot!
*Hearts*

[Kay/Hayden]

A very neat poem! If you ever need help with rhyming (Like me lol) I recommend this link: https://rhymenow.com/ Have a great Thanksgiving! -Kay

[moog-drika]

thanks so much for the praise. Means a lot :D

[duff]

This is my kind of writing. Short but bursting with devilish lines that paint a picture. I really like it. We are the masters of our own reality. Great job.

[moog-drika]

I have spent half of my life writing dark stuffs, but I felt the need of a little bit change, hence started writing something bright I guess lol.
Thank you so much for putting your thoughts here. We are indeed the masters of our own reality.

[...]

One of my biggest fear is end up in jail. Lost of freedom and your loved ones is always very painful . Poem is very throbbing at my mind. It's very authentic and painful like there is no escape from our own crimes. This poem have very strong impact on me.

[moog-drika]

This is so true. There is definitely no escape from our own crimes. I wish there were actually no crimes in this planet. I wish the crimes were choked to death.
Thank you so much for your interpretation. It really means a lot :'D

[Eilis]

This is such a haunting poem. The idea that even some of the most adept minions of death are suffering punishment. No one escapes the consequences when the consequences effect more than just the individual. And I suppose this is the way with vices. They are an individual’s burden, but as the individual pursues them others are inevitably drawn in to the ruin and hurt by the individual’s pursuit.

Your last two lines give me chills. You’ve done such a great job of evoking this sense of cool triumph. I see Hades on a throne preening in self-satisfaction. Smiling at the spoils of ruin. A really great poem.

[moog-drika]

I love your interpretation on this piece. Vices are like contagious poison for people. It kills humanity and makes the dead target victim. This makes the world look hell. That's why I keep hoping the vices to face punishment and death. Thank you so much for your descriptive review. It really means a lot.

[Jibey]

This has deep and disturbing images of decadence and liberty, let lose then arrested and confined in the journey to the underworld... a kind of inferno where the flesh is consumed, leaving only the gasping spirit

[moog-drika]

I absolutely loved the deeper meaning you extracted from the piece. Now I'm jealous, I wish i could steal some of these thoughts from you. Thank you so much for this deep interpretation. Means a lot ❤️

[Jibey]

I love to be stirred by your words - and inspired to write what my mind imagines... Thank you, dear friend