Imitated Obsession

Narcissist, Homosexual or Autosexual?

I got a glimpse of her 

  staring at me with an enchantment

    like she was trying to edit my presence.

I felt something for her.

Her inky eyes were pulling me towards her,

       it seemed like she read my newborn feelings.

Hushed interactions were going on 

making my feelings even more mature.

She kept imitating my persona

and I couldn't understand her atypical originality. 

I looked for a golden trait in her twisted soul,

a unique love,

   different from mine.

I kept wanting her to get out of the shady mirror,

yet she stood behind it.

Feelings got desperate to get her reflected existence,

      but I couldn't reach her.

A bitter insanity was eating me up.

      but I still couldn't reach her.

Losing all the breath of life, 

   my feelings took her soul with mine,

     and I was left with my expired figure.

Author's Note

it took me 2 years (2014-12016) to write something on this theme. So I really have a deep feeling for this write. I do welcome constructive criticism. I know there are flaws in the write, I wish to modify it too since I wrote it when I was kinda amateur that time.
However, people say that this is one of the weakest pieces I wrote down. It hurt me a little thinking if it's so bad. Hence, I wanna know your opinion.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Looking in the mirror and not quite recognising the face or persona of the image staring back. Being detached. We rarely see ourselves as others see us. We are our own worse enemies at times. A really good read. Well done moog-drika. I can see the effort you have put into this piece.

Chris

[moog-drika]

So true! There are so many elements inside us that we don't explore. These elements trigger us to be different at different times. I guess that's why we never know us completely. I wanted to add a lot more situations to this write. But it is really a very complex theme to go deeper and express.
Thank you so much for putting your thoughts on it. Means a lot.

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome dear poet :)

[Lorry]

I can relate to the detachment of self in this piece. Being distant from self like a third party judge, inspecting every inch of what we see, looking for the joins and trying to trick ourselves into believing that the image and the thought of the image match.
Is that reflection what others are fooled into seeing? Have I outgrown the mask and no longer relate to the reality of me? Just who is this almost but not quite familiar stranger.
Ps... It might not work for all, but I just threw out my mirrors and now live in blissful pretence that I am half the age I really am and am so stunning that people just haven't advanced enough to see it yet... A bit like modern art and the question that always crosses my mind "Is this art, or am I just reviewing a light switch" 😀

[moog-drika]

That's the game! trying to match the image and its thought makes everything even more complicated. It's like you open a door only to find infinite more closed doors to open. Although, this one highlighted more of self-love with a little touch of self-disappointment. Because, when you look at yourself in the mirror, you see all the outer attributes to decide if you should love yourself or not, but you don't see the inner ones and this makes you feel puzzled.
However, this is such a topic that can make you say a lot of things. It's so tangled.
But I'm really glad that you shared your thoughts on it. It made me feel like I'm not alone who is stuck by this maze.
Thank you so much.

[NotUsinganymore]

Very intresting poem about obsession. I liked the phrases you used.

[moog-drika]

Thank you so much for the praise. It means a lot.

[NotUsinganymore]

You are welcome

[R.E. Ray]

As to the question posed in your intro, I'd say it's beyond all three. This poem speaks to what we all feel, whether we admit it or not, when that special someone comes into view, when the heart and mind reconcile their differences, even if the feelings aren't reciprocated.

I think those of us often guilty of self doubt would accuse ourselves of narcissism. The rest would identify the feelings and thoughts as normal, if not universal.

The form is a bit erratic but it works well here. It represents the way we might see the mind framing our thoughts and jumping to the next. A fine poem from beginning to end.

[moog-drika]

Mind is a very complex entity. It has the power to give you paradoxical feelings and thoughts that don't have words to describe. I am really happy that you gave the poem a different dimensions to think about through you deep interpretation. I just had a theme to include these three emotions subtly so you get different meanings at different times. So glad to have your review. It helped widen my own thoughts on this write. Thank you so much. It really means a lot. :D

[R.E. Ray]

You're welcome.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Good lord, this poem absolutely stopped me in my tracks...One of my favorites I have read in such a long time.
the feelings are are unlassoed...absolutely no control...real...it just happens....and sometimes the forbidden feelings are the most erect sensually.
"like she was trying to edit my presence"
I wish I had written that line...with that meaning.
She might have seen that the speaker didn't lean that way...but she wanted her to, just this once.
The inky eyes pulling her ....because the feelings were smeared, unclear, and then the speaker was left with an "expired figure"--
time's up, the opportunity has passed.
j.

[moog-drika]

This write is really special for me because I tried putting the flavors of narcissism, homosexuality and autosexuality without creating a direct story about all the 3. I have intentionally kept some loopholes so you all get to enjoy its different dimensions. But what makes me so happy is that it really managed to keep you engaged (your review tells me that).
And yes, you are right. She really wanted her, she didn't know who she was that made her more curious. She waited and waited but all she was left with her expired figure.
Thank you so much for your beautiful interpretation. It made me visit the poetry again but i got some new plots through your thoughts on it. Thanks a bunch

[¿]

I will take it as autosexual. Before being attracted to someone, one searches for the attractive qualities in himself/herself. For instance a person always hesitates in approaching to his coveted figure if he finds lack in his looks, appearance, features. We actually make him think so. On the other hand a well suited or handsome man tends to pamper and love himself so much mostly. As perspectives vary, anyone can fall in love with oneself to the extent.
Thanks for featuring this one, I wonder how a sensual poem read so gently amazing to me!

[moog-drika]

Well you can surely take it as autosexual. I have created a lot of gaps so you can add different plots on your own to make it a complete different piece. Through your interpretation, I got to imagine a fresh story. I must say, you have a very sharp mind to understand certain things very deeply. You inspire me a lot.

[moog-drika]

ohh! And thank you so much for the praise and a beautiful interpretation.

[¿]

That's totally my pleasure to read and learn! You're welcome🍀 =D

[Jibey]

I liked this selfie poem, it's wild fantasy and painful self-awareness... the hidden need for a connection beyond self-love, the search of an alter-ego... naked before the mirror and wanting, an aching want.. a madness such as lovers feel, a deep and revealing exploration... Sheer enchantment...

[moog-drika]

It was one of the really complicated themes I tried working with back in 2014. Like I mentioned, it took 2 years for me to shape it up and I lost interest in writing on any other topic. I'm really the opposite of what the piece says, I had to feel those emotions to turn them into poetry. I'm really glad that you got to its depth that I tried pouring down. Thank you so much for your review and for making my day ❤️

[Jibey]

It was my pleasure.. truly

[Unspoken poet]

This is so wonderful, I enjoyed this, felt some emotion through out it

[moog-drika]

Thank you so much for the praise. Means a lot :D

[Courtney Hough]

Oh good lord this is amazing! It reminds my of shutter island in a way. Seeing things in ourselves, or putting traits of what we don't like about us onto a character we've made up. The mind is a mystery for sure. Amazing!

[moog-drika]

the mind is indeed a mystery! thank you so much. Im glad that you like it.. Really means a lot :D

[blue cave]

This is dripping with insanity, I love it.

[moog-drika]

Thanks so much :D It means a lot :D