Goddess's Will

Smoke billows around us,

pushing us closer and closer together till we can move no more,

Flames tickle our toes and scorch the lands around us,

ridding us of the vial  things the world has shown,

we are the survivers the chosen ones to live,

we willl recreate the people and make the world better again,

 

I awake

 

I f only we could be the way of my dreams,

recreating the beauty intended to be,

The Goddess hath shown thee the nature of night,

but birds they will flight,

from your gun's glowing flash and the sound of the bullet.

Destroyer of nature,

I want you destroyed,

you have depleted the goddesses land.

The land that she's given to have for to man.

The man she has given to has torn his gift apart and deserves nothing more than to have to be reborn.

Author's Note

I dont intend this to offend anyone who dissagrees with me but this is my opinon of things and I do hope you enjoy the poem!

Reviews

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Writer,

There is several places that need work grammatically, and I'd be happy to proofread this if you want me to. If not, it's fine as is. Though I do not believe in Goddess', I do believe that we are the destroyers of nature, even though it is also our fate to be the guardians of nature. I see the "I awake" in the middle, and would it be appropriate to add "I sleep" at the top of this poem in contrast with "I awake?"

The poem has a very powerful message, deeply appreciating ones belief on personal matters; enriching and bring forth fruits to the reader. There is always levels as we as humans can improve, and the same goes for writers. There is no level of perfection we can ever reach, except in grace. Good metaphors in the beginning, but I found a lack of rhythm toward the latter end. Anyways, keep writing... 9.3/10.

As a friend and a writer,
S. W. Scaggs

[MusicJunkie66]

the imagery and desciptive-ness is awesome. I could picture each thing, excellent!! :]

[Subjective Sanity]

Very deep and I don't see how this could offend anyone. But, that's just me.... : )

[Daydreamer54]

I liked ur poem! It shows that we should respect the earth and try to make the world a better place. :)