State of the Amber Address

looking into the mirror

 

     I am not defined by my mental illness. I am not defined by my desire to have an old school pre frontal lobotomy when the feelings get too real. When my emotions get the better of me, and all I can do is cry, all I want at that moment is absolute silence.

     I am not defined by my clothes. My style of dress is Amber-chic. I feel most at ease in jeans and a tee shirt. I can be myself, no false airs, no snobiness to be found in my jeans. These jeans are as well worn as I am.

 

    "I think therefore I am"

No. "I write, therefore I breathe"

 

 

    I define myself through the number of times I laugh a day, through the amusement of my friends have when I get the 4 AM giddies. "I want my necklace back!" I am defined by my unending quest to know myself. To learn, to be proud of where I am, even if I am lying in a trash filled gutter at night, staring up at what could be, would be, should be.

    I have learned to take it as I go. Roll with the punches, kicks, and with each set back, another mortar shell gets added to the barricade around my metaphorical heart.

    I've played the game for 32 years, I can make up the rules as I go, it's my turn to make people play my version of Calvinball. Make me laugh, youre innocent. Make me cry, you're guilty.

 

    It's taken me this long to wander aimlessly in my head. I'm still not well aquainted with the bats that live in my belfry. I'm not ready to pack it in.

 

F**k that lobotomy. I am my own cure.

 

   

Reviews

[Erotic Goddess]

LOL! I love this, and I agree, we all have it inside of us. I love this: I define myself through the number of times I laugh a day, through the amusement of my friends have when I get the 4 AM giddies. Sometimes there is so much pressure that a girl doesn't know where she begins and expectations end...

xxoxx,
Goddess

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Sounds like a woman who knows who she is... I hear your ROAR and i say Bravo!!! Define the world, don't let the world define you... rock them t-shirts and jeans.

[Sean M. Addams]

i liked this alot and thought this was expressed very well ...overall i thought this was a deep piece and a very interesting read...nice work!!!

[Hippy]

right on man sounds like your a good person fairly smart too and be yourself its good for you dont let them make you and be your own cure be yourself theres nothing wrong with that