Don't Care For Music Do Ya?

Damn Mr Cohen! Damn him!! Yet another for the collection...

I didn't fully understand

the impact you had

on my life

 

until tonight.

 

Listening to man distraught,

singing songs

lost hopes

lost causes

 

He should have dedicated it to me.

 

I am content with

the words you printed

with your thoughts for me.

They moved me to inspired heights,

and I managed to soar with the birds-

if only for a little while.

 

It's better than nothing, right?

 

No, I am not complaining.

I am entirely grateful for the times

we shared

real or imagined.

 

But you don't care

for that,

do ya?

Reviews

[JR]

Heh. Nice piece. I like the ending� that's the brutal AH sarcasm coming out again, though darkened. Your voice is very clear in this piece, and you actually deviated from the prose-filled approach you normally take. I think the result of this form is to really heighten the sense of bleakness� it's as though we're reading the last poem from a broken speaker, you know? And that really works. I think the form was more important for me in this poem than the actual words� really punched it into a new gear.

Forgive me� I'm not sure that I read this the way it was intended, so let me groove out my interpretation for you. The speaker had someone in their life, someone who moved them to new heights, worked on them as an inspiration, even though those moments may or may not have included both of them. With me so far? In the end, this inspirational person takes off� though we are led to believe that the connection only ran one way, from the speaker to the person, and not back again.

For me, that's what really gives power to the final stanza:

"But you don't care
for that,
do ya?"

It's heart wrenching by the time we get to that point because we can all put ourselves in that place, where we invested so much emotional importance to someone, only to find that it's not reciprocated. Ouch� leaves bruises.

I had issues with this section:

"Listening to man distraught,
singing songs
lost hopes
lost causes �"

Is this someone other than the object of the speaker's person? This is the one place where I would actually *gasp* add. Maybe "singing songs / about lost hopes / lost causes." Then, of course, to get the tenses right, change the line "He should have dedicated it to me," to read "He should have dedicated them to me." You know. To keep the grammar police at bay.

Other than that, I don't have anything to say. Nice write, AH, you're purging now� all that black s**t will come up with time and typing. This is cold but beautiful in it's bleak approach.

[Crazy Cat Man]

I like this piece. It sucks to have someone you care about not care about you at all. You captured that feeling.

[Helen Woodward]

Hey Sherlock...TALK TO ME!!!! What the hell is going on with you? Where are you? Under a rock? Come out of there and join me in the land of the living. You are not active here and I need to know if I should send flowers????
Love you and miss you...
Watson xx

[Rev. Gomez]

I have a few bones to pick on the structure of this poem. However, I would need to hear it spoken before critiquing a few things, but I still have some words to offer in a constructive fashion...

Oh yeah, how are things? I have been dormant, non-existent, hermit-like, afraid, insane, boring, etc. for the last few...months? years? I'm not even sure anymore. I haven't been able to write in over a year and have thrown in the towel, something Mick would never do, what would Sly think of me now?.. Anyway, I'll write to you more soon--because I'm sure that you've missed me terribly--but now I have to run...

Oh! And I'll get to a more thorough review while at work tonight...

[Jonah Hawthorne]

and neither did she.