Don't Care For Music Do Ya?

Damn Mr Cohen! Damn him!! Yet another for the collection...

I didn't fully understand

the impact you had

on my life

 

until tonight.

 

Listening to man distraught,

singing songs

lost hopes

lost causes

 

He should have dedicated it to me.

 

I am content with

the words you printed

with your thoughts for me.

They moved me to inspired heights,

and I managed to soar with the birds-

if only for a little while.

 

It's better than nothing, right?

 

No, I am not complaining.

I am entirely grateful for the times

we shared

real or imagined.

 

But you don't care

for that,

do ya?

Reviews

[JR]

Heh. Nice piece. I like the ending� that's the brutal AH sarcasm coming out again, though darkened. Your voice is very clear in this piece, and you actually deviated from the prose-filled approach you normally take. I think the result of this form is to really heighten the sense of bleakness� it's as though we're reading the last poem from a broken speaker, you know? And that really works. I think the form was more important for me in this poem than the actual words� really punched it into a new gear.

Forgive me� I'm not sure that I read this the way it was intended, so let me groove out my interpretation for you. The speaker had someone in their life, someone who moved them to new heights, worked on them as an inspiration, even though those moments may or may not have included both of them. With me so far? In the end, this inspirational person takes off� though we are led to believe that the connection only ran one way, from the speaker to the person, and not back again.

For me, that's what really gives power to the final stanza:

"But you don't care
for that,
do ya?"

It's heart wrenching by the time we get to that point because we can all put ourselves in that place, where we invested so much emotional importance to someone, only to find that it's not reciprocated. Ouch� leaves bruises.

I had issues with this section:

"Listening to man distraught,
singing songs
lost hopes
lost causes �"

Is this someone other than the object of the speaker's person? This is the one place where I would actually *gasp* add. Maybe "singing songs / about lost hopes / lost causes." Then, of course, to get the tenses right, change the line "He should have dedicated it to me," to read "He should have dedicated them to me." You know. To keep the grammar police at bay.

Other than that, I don't have anything to say. Nice write, AH, you're purging now� all that black s**t will come up with time and typing. This is cold but beautiful in it's bleak approach.

[there is no more from m..]

one amazing poem good job

[Tomás Ó C..]

Nice emotion, after she finally realises what she has got he appears to have moved beyond caring...

[jdog]

this is great. i really enjoyed this. daedal word choice. could you please read this story and tell me what you think http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/zzjordan89zz/450998/

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

I regonize the words..Leonard Cohen..I love the way you used this as inspiration..the final line wonderful, the frustration clear..

[Raef C. Boylan]

Tut tut Leonard, lookit what you did to our gal.

Strong narrative voice here. We're left wondering.
I couldn't tell whether this is a piece reflecting on the relationship between reader and writer [/musician], or making use of cherished written words to express thoughts on an actual relationship.
No matter. It works well.
How've you been?

[Jet Lag]

missing your voice so came by for a little.
not disappointed.
loving it.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Hey Amber, just strolling by and read this. Slightly sarcastic/caustic piece....guess you weren't listening to Yankee Doodle Dandy? lol Nice write here.

[Nay]

The tone of this is lovely--somewhere in between wistful and pragmatic--and the implications of the story behind it resonate deeply for me.

[Rain]

I won't try an disect this piece. It is just sad, and if there is truth within the lines...I hope the pain subsides. Rain..

[Shane Brooks]

it sounds like you are talking to yourself oyu know like a letter never sent..I do that to...not bad