apocalypse

Could you ever imagine a time and place where everything is perfect? Leila could. She often found herself laying on the green grass watching the cotton candy like clouds, while the blades tickled her back and made her itchy. She would giggle about it. A carefree giggle where nothing could frighten or upset her. That was a long time ago now though. Now the clouds were a nasty greenish grey, and laying around in an open field would most certainly get you killed. Who would want to lay on that grass now? It was brown, sick, dead and dry mostly made up of large patches of dirt. 

Things have changed drastically in the world over the last 8 years. Sickness and famine spread wildly after the fall of healthcare. Everything else followed quickly. "maybe I should explain," Leila sat across from 2 very scared wide eyed children. She found them scavenging in an old trash can behind some buildings while she was out on one of her own food searches. She reluctantly took them in, even only being 21 herself she knew they would never survive and it would weigh on her conscience. Now the three of them sat around a small fire Leila had made in an old dumpster she had flipped on its side and pushed into a wall for shelter. They had asked her how the world had fallen apart so she began the short version. 

"This is only what I know so don't expect it to be a full story that makes sense. I heard that the health board started shutting down hospitals because of malpractice. It seems someone caught wind of how much money doctors were making and soon everyone and their brother started saying they were doctors and the hospitals became infested with phonies. Soon no one could tell who was a real doctor and who was only in it for the money. Then people started getting really sick. Viruses were spreading like crazy and there was no one around to give the vaccines or treat and quarantine them. People weren't working because either themselves or their loved ones were sick or dying, which led to all factories and grocery stores being closed indefinitely. People were starving and only the strong survived by hunting. After 8 years the world goes pretty stagnant, so here we are. You'll come across groups of scavengers but be careful. There are a lot of people that would either steal the clothes off your back along with all your stuff, or eat you." The children gasped. 

"How old are you guys anyways?' Leila estimated they couldn't be more than 6 and 7. A Pair of siblings no doubt, a boy and a girl. "I'm 10 and my brothers 12." The little girl spoke up, Her brother looked too terrified to even breathe. Leila counted back 8 on her fingers from 10, only now realizing how bad her intuition with children is because of how far off her age guesses were. "you're telling me you were only 2 when this all started?" Leila could cry for them, but she wouldn't. "I guess, I don't know. Our parents kept us inside a lot. We had a really big house. But mom and dad went out to buy food and they didn't come back so we had to leave because we got really hungry." The little girls eyes gathered tears in the corner and she quickly wiped them away. "whats your name?" Leila asked. Her voice cracked. "Elizabeth, but Benny calls me Ella and I like that better." "so your brothers name is Ben?" Leila suddenly felt very bad for the boy. There was something different about him and she started to understand. "Ya but he likes being called Benny. Don't you Benny?" Ella turned her focus to her brother and he smiled at the sky and clapped his hands together 3 times. "You don't have to stare. He just has autism." Ella glared at Leila. "I wasn't..." Leila's voice trailed off, she felt embarrassed but also very proud of this strong little pair, a 10 year old more mature than herself. "Okay, so you can grab pretty much anything you want to use as a blanket. I have to put the fire out now and it gets pretty cold." Leila threw an old, burned rubber mat over the little fire and it was dark immediately. 

The next morning Leila couldn't help but notice how much warmer it was inside the dumpster with a few more bodies around her. "may not be that bad." She thought to herself as she slowly, carefully emerged through the little space between the wall. The kids were still asleep but for the better, They must have had a long night. Leila set off with her empty backpack, 1 bottle of water, a can of blue spray paint and a shotgun with 3 bullets she found in her travels. She had her long black hair tied up in a bun and a bandanna over her face. Her clothes were dirty, torn and old but they did the trick. No need to be fashionable when there was no one around to care about appearance anyway. She walked to the edge of the road she had come to for years before. Following the length of trees that lined the side, they were all identified with a dot of blue spray paint, until she didn't see them anymore. she skipped 10 trees and dotted the eleventh, marking the start of her next path to take. She would walk straight and follow it until she either caught an animal or came across something, which hadn't happened the last 300 times shes walked through these forests.            

Author's Note

Its going to end up a long story so I'm posting a beginning draft to see if anyone's interested in reading more considering the time it's going to take to finish it! I already have an ending! Let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Karen Redburn]

I like this story well written and understandable. I can see there is a bond forming between Lelia and the kids already. Can't wait to read more!

A few suggestions and typo's I noticed:

That was a long time ago now though. Now the clouds were nasty...(overuse of the word now)

"m(M)aybe I should explain," Leila sat across...

She reluctantly took them in, even (word confusion)only being 21 herself she knew they would never survive and it would weigh on her conscience.

It seems someone caught wind of how much money doctors were making and soon everyone and their brother started saying they were doctors and the hospitals became infested with phonies. (need to tease this out a bit more to make it believable, i.e there was no watchdog to ensure Dr. licencing was legit)

The little girl spoke up, H(h)er brother looked too terrified to even breathe.

"y(Y)ou're telling me you were only 2 when this all started?"

"s(S)o your brothers name is Ben?"

Leila threw an old, burned rubber mat over the little fire and it was dark immediately. (it would smoke like a banshee)

"m(M)ay not be that bad." (suggestion, use italics for thoughts or add "she thinks" makes the read easier to understand)

The kids were still asleep but for the better, T(t)hey must have had a long night.

I'm really liking these 3 look forward to reading more! Great story!

[Karen Redburn]

I'm going to read, but one quick request from us older's could you increase font size please?

[Marisa M]

okay done!