Chills

at night,

my hands land on him

in all the places you loved

but he's completely naive;

he has no idea those were your spots.

 

normally all i smell is my perfume,

but when it's just right

my pillow smells like hair and smoke

and if i lay on my side and breathe

it smells just like you.

 

sometimes when i kiss him,

i expect to hear your voice

or breathe your breath

or feel your hand on the small of my back

gently pulling me in.

 

after that much time, i guess,

i can only expect to remember all of it:

your birth marks and freckles

or the easiest place to give you a hickey

or what you like to hear in bed.

 

though, really, i wish i didn't.

it makes me sick.

Reviews

[siri]

this piece is amazing sad but amazing and beautifully written the art you created with this compilation of words is powerful and unique and an interesting take on a situation thanks for sharing it was amazing! keep up the brilliant work!

[PureRomance]

This is a very beautiful, but sad poem you have penned here. You did a marvelous job with it. I look forward to reading more of it and so that you know I hope to read anything new you come up with. I've been writing since I was 7 years old and I'm now 28 so I have written quite alot. I've recently heard of this site so I thought I'd come and check it out. Anyways awesome poem here. Keep up the excellent work

[Sound]

This one is sad. Makes me think of how everything I own would remind me of my girlfriend if we were to break up. Or the way I feel during those extended arguments that last for days. I like this one because I think everyone can relate to this in some way, although perhaps not to this extent. You have to know someone very well, through the passing of years to get to this point.

[DevilsNeedLove2]

Beautiful. The last two lines are my favorite. I wasn't expecting them, and I love being surprised when it comes to writing.

[Kiddx]

WOW! Very sensual write i like this

normally all i smell is my perfume,
but when it's just right
my pillow smells like hair and smoke
and if i lay on my side and breathe
it smells just like you.

Love this stanza really well, this is a wonderful write you have penned.

[T]

Aww, I feel bad for the other guy. But I like the following lines:

at night,

my hands land on him

in all the places you loved

but he's completely naive;

he has no idea those were your spots.

Good job.

[Stephanie Skaggs]

Oh, Molly bear, I love this one. It's wonderfully written and I wish I were there to chat with you about its contents.

[RAWR!]

aww :(
*gives cookie*

[Kitten]

beautifully written - you definitely give a sense of emotion and of memory that the reader can relate to. This part:
"normally all i smell is my perfume,

but when it's just right

my pillow smells like hair and smoke

and if i lay on my side and breathe

it smells just like you."

I could identify with completely - sometimes you can't get the smell out of your head, no matter how many times you drag those sheets through the laundry.

[An owl on the moon]

What is, what was, and what could have been... An excellent, insightfully personal write about love and what it does inside us and through us. Brilliant!!!

Craig