"S" Words

strange,
like standing still on the freeway during stopped traffic,
lasting long enough to find stones in the concrete,
something you assume will always be moving at 70 miles per hour
underneath your feet.

startling,
like when your heart skips a beat as you sleepily turn the page,
lasting long enough to catch your breath and pat your chest,
something you expect will beat 70 times per minute
underneath your ribs.

sticky,
like the glue left on your hands after an impromptu craft session,
lasting long enough to take the ache out of an afternoon alone,
something you hoped would dry in 70 seconds like it says

underneath the label.

still,
i'd rather be stopped, skipped and stuck and know how it feels,
lasting long enough to know i need you here,
than to assume, expect and hope you'd return to me every second,

every minute of all 7 days.
 

Reviews

[Last Lying Look]

This is an awesome write.
I love how you have this all set up.
Excellent piece.
-E.M.R

[PianoandPage]

oh. my. goddess.

this is probably one of the most refreshing and skillfully written poems i've read here in ages. seriously. i love your form, how you play with recurring themes, the amazing AH-MAZING alliteration, the delicious metaphors, the surreal ways we see the world when we are skewered by love's absence, you wrap it all up in a perfect little package.

a true delight!

each stanza alone tells a story, the end SLAYS me. seriously. wow. i am just so jealous of your talent. haha.

i would pull my favorite lines but it would essentially be the entire poem.

*bows*

this is my newest favorite.

[An owl on the moon]

So fresh and fun... Enjoyed reading it through several times to experience the tempo and the tone. Loved it!

[justjenn_2u]

This poem is has a wonderful rhyme scheme and thought pattern. The poem doesn't seem overwritten or one bit artificial!!!

[Jaffa Forbes]

wow, this is really very good indeed. you use the repetition amazingly well and the whole poem has this lovely conversational tone to it. a kind of 'well as a matter of fact' thing. It's like you're looking down from a cloud somewhere or something. Yep, it's really quite late. I have a headache (but your poem didn't give me it!)
jaff

I like the idea of the recurring themes and I like the alliteration of the sounds ( 7's and s's.) Very vivid poem.

[Travis Lawrence]

I love the recurring themes, and the similes are vividly excellent. Very clever and honest.

[John Sanders]

Good work here. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

[The Musings of Mary H.]

Beautiful work indeed! I very much enjoyed this first piece from you. I like your choice of "S words"!

"sticky,
like the glue left on your hands after an impromptu craft session,
lasting long enough to take the ache out of an afternoon alone,
something you hoped would dry in 70 seconds like it says underneath the label."

many welcomes,
mary

[akarusty]

Like it. Good use of 70 to 7. Loved the format. Original as far as I could see. I now want to use the word 'impromptu' :D