'The New Waltons'

bringing back the 70's, baby!

"I realize unless you're of a certain age and remember 'The Waltons,' this will make about as much sense as tits on a milk cow!

"The "Hair, or Windsock? Network" is bringing back one of the most beloved and iconic television shows of the 1970's, 'The Waltons", except obviously, this is 'The New Waltons", and instead of featuring the whole backwoods clan, this one focuses all its airtime to the only cast member, 'Don-Boy' Walton, played by Donald J. Trump, because, as the cable news channels have proven beyond any doubt, "There's gold in that there sloping forehead, or, if you weren't so distracted by whatever he combs over, you'd see the slopage."

The New Waltons" tells the story of Don-Boy Walton, a small-time con artist who suddenly finds himself running for mayor of nearby Richmond. Initially drawn into the race as a publicity stunt to promote himself, he unexpectedly wins, because of an unexplained trance the citizens of Richmond, who turn to him to solve what they view as a myriad of problems. At first, scared s**t-less by the overwhelming responsibility, he soon realizes this could benefit his main concern, himself, and develops a strategy for cashing in. Viewers might get the impression the redundant scenes, played over and over, might be an embarrassment to "The "H. Or W? Network", but, just like the other networks, they're making a bet that the average viewer, who must have nothing better to do, and we mean 'nothing,' will make this show about a faker, a monster hit, and keep the ratings high, and the media-pig rolling in s**t, if by 's**t', you mean money.

So, any time of the day or night, around the clock, this baby's on, so tune in, and see why 'Donkey and Shovel Magazine' calls the show, 'A F*****g Waste, an Abomination,' which led 'Trunk and Dagger Magazine' to call 'Donkey and Shovel Magazine' a liberal pile, which in turn caused 'Donkey and Shovel Magazine' to reply with, "One step from Nazi Bullshit,' which led 'Trunk and Dagger Magazine' to threaten to, and I quote, "Kick your bleeding heart from here to Susan Sarandon's house," which prompted "Donkey and Shovel Magazine" to fire back, "Oh yeah--"--oh, this is pointless, much like the feud between liberals and conservatives, just watch the damn show! "

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

uh huh. This seems to be today's topic as the hour draws near -- I think it's pretty appropriate to take that hokey show and blend it with the hoax of the day. For some reason, the font is cramped, but your logic is sound, nonetheless.
p.s. I don't normally send RR's, but, since you are so good at the funny take on politics, I would like you to pop by my poem "Welcome to the Soviet Republic of Camerica" you might appreciate it.