The Struggling Author (Hey, That's Me!)

Sending out queries (many, many!); depression

 

The Struggling Author (Hey, That's Me!)

 

Day after day, night after night, I rack my brain

 

Trying to come up with an idea that will catch some

 

Publisher's eye, at least long enough to avoid

 

The dreaded generic rejection letter

 

If you've ever submitted some of your writing,

 

You know the one I'm talking about,

 

The one that starts out, "Thank you

 

For your submission, but unfortunately...

 

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!"  What a polite

 

Way of saying, "If I only had a nickel for all

 

The absolutely putrid bullshit, waste of my time,

 

Landfill-worthy; sorriest collection of words

 

Ever assembled in one place, chicken-scratch,

 

Gag-Me, I just had lunch, and here it comes on it's

 

way back up, literary pollution; affront to authors

 

Everywhere, I'd have a lot of nickels!"

 

And so, the struggle goes on; seemingly endless

 

I'm nothing if not stupid--err--relentless!

 

Ah, what an ego-booster; I keep telling

 

Myself, "Hey, it only takes one!"; I've gotten

 

So discouraged, I've decided to change

 

My wording; Now, I just cut to the chase,

 

I mean, these people hold my electronic nuts

 

In their hands, now I simply begin;

 

"Yes, it's another one of those "shapely, not-too-bright

 

Platinum blond secretary working for a

 

Grizzled private eye who's cynical

 

View of the world leads to many adventures"

 

Novels, So you may want to just push delete already,

 

Because I know that's what you want to do,

 

And spare me another insult to positive thinking

 

In the form of a generic rejection letter! 

 

What?  You say you'll never get enough

 

Grizzled PI, ditzy platinum blond bombshell

 

Secretary's stories?  Could I please send

 

The entire novel?  Sure thing, I'll send it by tomorrow

 

Well, I'd love to stay and shoot the s**t,

 

But I'd better get busy writing the damn thing; see ya!

Reviews

[Marie]

It only takes on, you see.
Certainly you've got enough skill as a writer not to give up...

[Michael Stevens]

Thank you very much; and I may have exaggerated JUST a bit!

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are hilarious Michael .That is another one for the books ,so to speak lol.If we could only get the books published right ?

[Michael Stevens]

Thank you, and are you teasing me, taunting me?

[Vidya Bacchus]

Teasing you of course would I never taunt you Micheal ?I am hurt :(

[Michael Stevens]

No was only trying to be funny with my response, but the only thing I seem to be able to do is offend (hurt) people!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Oh well can't say we haven't all done that (I have never done that ) right lol

[Michael Stevens]

Really? NEVER? Well, aren't YOU a star!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Yes ,yes I am lol

[Michael Stevens]

Modesty's not a problem, then?

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahaha oh my gosh no :P

[Michael Stevens]

Well, THAT'S good to know!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahahaha :)